Law associate confronts intern about office romance: ‘My intern [is] benefitting from pretty privilege’

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jul 22, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

This employee has been watching too much Grey's Anatomy. After discovering that her intern was having an office romance with a senior associate, she thought that the best way to handle the scenario and to "stay out of it" was to go around confronting both parties and starting more drama. 

The best part is how folks in the comments section were quick to call out the flaws in her logic about "pretty privilege," a phrase she used when confronting her intern. People accused the associate of being jealous and questioned why she seemed more frustrated with the less powerful party in this dynamic. If she really felt that something against company policy was going on and that something needed to be done urgently, that is what Human Resources is for. She is not a professional when it comes to handling these issues, but she couldn't help herself. If she really did not want to be involved, she simply wouldn't be involved. What would you do in this scenario? Sound off in the comments!

For more stories like this, check out this post about another tense feud between coworkers. 

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  • 01
    "I've had a complicated situation come up and think I haven't handled it the best."
    via Hunters Race
  • 02
    AITA for telling my intern she's benefitting from "pretty privilege"?
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 03
    I (27F) work at a competitive law firm after a year of interning. We bring on a batch of new interns each year, and I am responsible for supervising a few of them. The group I am supervising is very hardworking, however I've had a complicated situation come up and think I haven't handled it the best.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 04
    Last weekend, there was a work party at one of the associate attorney's houses. At the party I found one of my interns, Isabel (26F) and a senior associate, Sam (37M), hoking up.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 05
    Now, I personally am not the type of person to care for or get involved in workplace drama. However, I felt a bit bothered. The senior associates at our firm control which interns get put onto cases. I was an intern just last year,
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 06
    so I understand just how hard it is to get the higher-level and interesting cases, and how difficult it can be to show senior associates that you're someone they want on their case.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 07
    The next Monday I asked Sam if I could have a private word with him, and asked him about his relationship with Isabel. He explained that they met before she started working here and that it was a "casual relationship". I made
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 08
    it clear to him that I don't have any interest in interfering, but if I see any preferential treatment towards Isabel, I will have reason to speak up again and do something, out of ethics and fairness to the other interns. He took it well and we moved on with the day.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 09
    Over the next few days though, I started noticing more at-work interactions between the two, and felt uneasy whenever Sam would let Isabel contribute more directly to case-preparation compared to the other interns. Then again, I only kept an eye out and avoided
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 10
    getting involved as I hadn't seen anything that could be called blatant "favouritism". But at work today, I had pretty tense interaction with Isabel.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 11
    Isabel and I were in a workroom alone and she confronted me and mentioned me seeing her and Sam. She tried to explain that it was external to the firm and had nothing to do with work- but I cut her off because I felt a bit angry. I
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 12
    explained that I don't really want to hear about her and Sam's relationship and don't want to see it either. It makes me uncomfortable knowing that she is sleeping with someone who can be considered "our boss". I told her that me and a lot of others have worked extremely hard to get into
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 13
    this field and reach this firm, and that I will never "understand" or find any experience that can help me "empathize" with her situation as I have never, or will ever have,
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 14
    enough "pretty privilege" to be in a scenario where I get into a relationship with my boss. If it's not affecting my work, or anyone else's, I want to be left out of the talk or knowledge of their relationship completely.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 15
    Isabel seemed very flustered at my response, and didn't say anything. She ended up taking her things. and leaving the workroom pretty abruptly, and I didn't see her for the rest of the day. Was I too harsh in what I said? AITA for implying that she has or is benefitting from "pretty privilege"?
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 16
    Wayward Princess1025. ESH. And you seem insufferable. Just report them to HR and be done with it. Don't go around threatening people and getting into arguments at work.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 17
    movezlikeyaeger OP. The thing is with reporting to HR that as a junior associate, I might get informally "blacklisted" by senior associates and higher- ups from future
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 18
    opportunities. I know in theory reporting to HR is what people should do bc that's quite literally the purpose of HR, but the anonymity of reports is basically nonexistent
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 19
    here. News of "who reported who" leaks out really easily, and those who do report lose opportunities over time to move higher up and tend to leave the company as a result.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 20
    I'd definitely report and leave it at that if it weren't for how messy it would get for my own future advancement. At a bit of a loss now on what to do.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 21
    Timely Egg_6827 · Not sure why you are blaming Isabel. The more responsible party is Sam, your boss, the one in a position of authority over her. He is the one that needs to keep it professional. You were quite correct in your approach to him.
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 22
    But you were quite catty to a fairly young adult who may think she is (or may be) in a genuine relationship with Sam. You were brutal in saying that she was less deserving of being there and getting cases than anyone else because she is "pretty" and that attracted
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 23
    your boss. It may have done but you say she is also hard- working and no blatant favouritism. So check your own biases - are you just noticing when she works with Sam more because you know situation? Are you being judgemental with her based purely on fact she is "sleeping with boss"?
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 24
    Situation is not ideal and ideally she and Sam shouldn't be working together. But if you can't work with her because you are resentful,then ask for her to be reassigned. You being unprofessional
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 25
    because she is doing something and you want to "punish" her for it doesn't do you any favours. And think about the fact your boss is hitting on a girl a decade younger -is he often predatory? (If not, then even ugly people can benefit from connections at work.)
    via movezlikeyaeger
  • 26
    dibblechibbs . YTA. They're possibly being inappropriate, but even you admit they haven't done anything actionable. However, the way you spoke to her is atrocious and incredibly unprofessional.
    via movezlikeyaeger

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