Woman Finds Out Childhood Best Friend Excluded Her from the Bridal Party, Leading to a Emotional Exit

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Aug 15, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Weddings are joyous occasions commemorating the union of two people you love. However, how would you feel on the day of the wedding if you found out that the person you believed to be your friend and someone you loved deeply wasn't feeling the same things as you since they hadn't invited you to share on their special day?

The story below is an account of a frustrated friend. The original poster (OP) and the bride have been friends since fifth grade. As a result, OP was overjoyed to hear that her friend was getting married and was eager to embark on this new journey with her. Her happiness was short-lived, though, because it appears that OP's friend had a different idea in mind—one that completely disregarded OP.

OP discovered that the bride had thrown a bachelorette party without her after months of inquiry. Even worse, she noticed that whenever she brought up the subject of a party or get-together in their previous exchanges, her friend would invariably bring up something else. So, if you're curious about the details of what transpired and whether or not they stayed friends after this encounter, be sure to read the story below! Once you're done, don't forget to read about the man who takes his sister-in-law out of every wedding picture!

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  • 01
    specifically told my friend she should probably at least do seat assignments to avoid drama, but she said there were too many people to have chairs for everyone so she was just going to do a buffet. One of her work friends/bridesmaids gave a speech, they cut cake, and my partner and I walked out. I wanted to just pull an Irish goodbye, but we started walking to the parking lot and saw the groomsmen and friends
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for leaving my best friend's wedding early after she lied to me about not having a bridal party?
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 03
    I'm trying not to include a ton of details because idk if she goes on this sub. We've been best friends since elementary school, have talked about buying land together and having our houses next door to each other, all that jazz. I'm in her will. I had always imagined her being my maid of honor, and that I would be hers. I made a lot of offers to help with wedding prep or during the wedding, but she kept
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 04
    talking about how her friends were "good at being bridesmaids," and they were going to help her plan it. At one point a few months ago I just asked her straight up if she was doing a bridal party because I wasn't really sure what was going on, and she told me they weren't planning on doing a traditional bridal party and that they would probably just opt for pictures with some important people. At the end of
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 05
    the same phone call, she said she had to go figure out the bridal party. She's been cagey about the whole thing for months and kept changing the subject if I offered to help at all or would just start talking again about how many weddings her friends had been in. I had a feeling this would happen, but I didn't realize how bad it would be.
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 06
    I brought the catering for them, and she thanked me and told me to go check out the venue while she got ready. She didn't introduce me to anyone, and I just sort of stood around while she talked with some other staff friends (she did the wedding at a sentimental place where she works in the summers). I should have just introduced myself, but the vibes. were so weird that I sort of just shut down. I helped
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 07
    out with a couple things and wandered off to look at the area. Eventually, I came back and sat on a bench waiting to see if it would be okay to hang out while she got ready. I asked a couple staff buddies if they knew where she was and if she would be okay with me joining, and they seemed a little confused and were like uh I mean you can just go peek in and see and if she doesn't want you there she can just tell you
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 08
    to go away lol. So we did, and she had us sit with her for a while and we talked while she was getting her makeup and hair done. One of her friends mentioned some guy getting anxious, and she said he had just found out he was going to be a groomsman the day before. I was like oh that's rough haha, then noticed the dresses hanging on the door and realized I had
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 09
    walked in on the bridal party. My friend was avoiding eye contact and then someone paged for extra help in a different building and one of her friends suggested me and my partner go help, so we did. After the wedding, everyone filed out to give their congratulations, and her husband pointedly turned around to talk to the photographer when I got to
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 10
    them. I waited. and he eventually turned back around and I gave him a handshake/hug/whatever, but my friend was talking to someone. I waited and gave her a hug, and was kind of hoping she would at least ask me to do a picture, but she didn't, so I walked off to the reception while she did pictures with family and bridesmaids. We hung out with a bunch of camp staff, and eventually sat and talked with her mom for a bit.
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 11
    The wedding was pretty lowkey because she didn't want to hire an event planner and because of the venue. They didn't do any seating assignments, and the staff is mostly pretty young, so none of them really knew how to act. They took up most of the space in the dining area, and friends and family ended up squeezing in between them or standing off to the sides. They all got food and drinks before the
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 12
    family because the family didn't really know where everything was. A couple of them grabbed chairs from the back to fit my partner and I between them at two different tables. One of them asked me how I knew the couple, and I said I was her friend from like 5th grade. She was like omg she invited people from way back, she should've invited the whole class! I know it was innocuous, but it hurt like a bh. I had
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 13
    specifically told my friend she should probably at least do seat assignments to avoid drama, but she said there were too many people to have chairs for everyone so she was just going to do a buffet. One of her work friends/bridesmaids gave a speech, they cut cake, and my partner and I walked out. I wanted to just pull an Irish goodbye, but we started walking to the parking lot and saw the groomsmen and friends
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 14
    all hanging out there and turned around. I milled around for a while trying to decide if I was making a mistake, missed the first dance, walked back to the car again while they were continuing to dance, and realized I lost my keys. I wandered around all over the place and eventually we realized that the keys were in the reception area, so we had to go over again to leave. I waited around to say goodbye and then headed out early.
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 15
    AITA for skipping most of the reception? WIBTA if I bring this up with her a few weeks from now when everything has settled down? I want to be happy for her, but this was kind of devastating.
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 16
    Edit: to clarify, I just meant I picked up and delivered the catering for them-if I had paid, I wouldn't have any questions about where I stood. I had been offering to help the whole time they were planning, and it seemed like the catering was something she finally said fk it and let me do.
    via u/throwaway365346
  • 17
    RaymondBeaumont · 15 hr. ago She is one of your best friends. You aren't one of hers. Stop wasting time on her.
    via u/RaymondBeaumont
  • 18
    Trailsya - 15 hr. ago NTA That whole wedding was messy. I could have bought that she and that staff just didn't know what to do and that's why you got excluded. Like some dude only heard he was groomsman the day before.
    via u/Trailsya
  • 19
    However, she was obviously hiding things from you. Not even clear why, but it seemed to have been intentional. I would start looking for better friends. You're completely fine if you never talk to her again.
    via u/Trailsya
  • 20
    One thing: definitely don't do anything for this woman again. See her as an acquiantance at best or completely stop contact.
    via u/Trailsya
  • 21
    Loveitallandthensome 14 hr. ago • Yes. No more favors. She told you without telling you what she thinks of you as a friend, and it's no longer as a close friend. I'm sorry. This hurt to read.
    via u/Loveitallandthensome
  • 22
    bluefurniture · 15 hr. ago Gosh, reading this was extremely painful. Not only would I not bring it up, I would not speak to her again. There is definitely something going on - maybe she didn't feel as strongly about the friendship, but the groom looking away is weird. DO NOT DO ANYTHING FOR HER AGAIN unless she comes clean with you.
    via u/bluefurniture
  • 23
    Grim_Giggles 15 hr. ago • It sounds like she and her husband didn't want you to be part of their wedding party, but were cowards about it. It also sounds like you were duped into supplying their catering. If the catering was your gift to them then they can accept it without strings attached. If you supplied the
    via u/Grim_Giggles
  • 24
    catering as a friend/family member then they should have honored you with the same status as other people. It seems you have been treated badly and taken advantage of. I suspect that they feel superior to you for some ridiculous reason. Considering their cowardice, I don't think you will achieve anything by confronting
    via u/Grim_Giggles
  • 25
    them with the hurtful behavior. You should think about what you hope to achieve in this future relationship. You have been excluded and will continue to be mistreated whether you confront them or not. Perhaps you are willing to accept the pair of them against you. I hope you have the self respect to end the relationship. You
    via u/Grim_Giggles
  • 26
    will grieve the loss of what you thought you lost, but it was truly one sided and you were the last person to know. There are many quality people who will appreciate you and your generosity. I am confident you will be happy with new friends.
    via u/Grim_Giggles
  • 27
    GreenEyedPhotographr· 4 hr. ago I have no notes. This is an excellent observation and even better advice. Good luck, OP. You deserve a better friend. You'll find one, too.
    via u/GreenEyedPhotographr

Tags

friendship loyalty bride drama wedding drama bridesmaids sisters friends relationship-drama askreddit girlfriends reddit story wedding past rock solid friendship
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