Sister-in-law asks new mom to change her baby's name from Liam to Alexander because she always wanted to name her baby Liam: 'Mike didn't let her use the name is because his ex has a son with that name'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 25, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

It's so difficult to name a human being. Once you go through all of the names of all the middle school bullies, weird acquaintances, and exes you and your partner have ever had, you've only got about five names left over. It's difficult enough for two people to choose a name that they both like, but when family members chime in and give their unsolicited opinions, it makes it even harder. It's one thing for a relative to ask a new parent not to name their child a name they've already used for one of that child's cousins or the name of a deceased family member or child, but it's a whole other situation to ask a parent to not use a name that's already been crossed off their family's baby name list. That's what happened to a new mother, whose sister in law wanted to name one of her kids Liam, but never got the chance to. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10393177088
    via Hollie Santos

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    AITA For refusing to change my baby's name?
    via u/More-Persimmon-6973
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    My Partner (M34) and I (F32) recently welcomed our son Liam Alexander into the world. My partner's sister (Katie) has 2 kids (James 6 and William 4) with her husband (Mike), and he has a daughter (10) with his EX.
    via u/More-Persimmon-6973
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    My partner and I didn't settle on a name for our son until the day of his birth. I have always loved the name Liam, for its sound and meaning, and was over the moon when my partner finally agreed to one of the names on my list. 24 hours after Liam was born our families came to meet him, his sister being one of the first. We announced his name to her and her immediate
    via u/More-Persimmon-6973
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    response was "Oh, I've always loved the name Liam, but Mike wouldn't let me use it for our first son! Could you change it? Maybe call him Alexander as his first name? Its sounds nicer!" I firmly said I loved the name too, and while I empathise with her, we would not be changing his name, or the order of his names.
    via u/More-Persimmon-6973
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    I thought that was the end of it until she visited us at home, a week later, and brought it up again. The reason Mike didn't let her use the name is because his EX has a son with that name. I told that shouldn't have stopped her from using the name she loved. Those boys do not know each other, do not go to the same school, don't have the same last name and basically live separate existences outside of their shared half-sister. I also said she could still use the name in future, it's common in my
    via u/More-Persimmon-6973
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    For clarification, Katie and I have never discussed baby names, and we have no name pacts. The only reason I feel like TA is because Mike and his EX have a toxic coparenting relationship, and this understandably affects Katie. Katie and I have a good relationship but she doesn't talk about Mike's ex, so this is as much as I know. AITA?
    via u/More-Persimmon-6973
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    andromache97 · 7 hr. ago the reason Mike didn't let her use the name is because his EX has a son with that name. I told that shouldn't have stopped her from using the name she loved. you are absolutely NTA and Katie is crazy, but imo it's Mike's kid too, and it's understandable that Mike didn't want to use a baby name his ex whom he shares a child with has already used (ofc he doesn't want to give his daughter TWO half-siblings with the same name or cause drama with her mother).
    via u/andromache97
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    You shouldn't encourage her to use Liam imo. Mike's position is reasonable. Katie needs to let this name go.
    via u/andromache97
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    Healthy_Brain5354.6 hr. ago Yeah, if Mike doesn't want that name because of his ex then he's not going to want that name for his next children either, so it's not like Katie was going to have a kid called Liam anyway. Makes no sense to ask her to change the name
    via u/Healthy_Brain5354
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    glyphdiceisabitch. 6 hr. ago Exactly! Mike already made his choice clear, so it's unfair for Katie to expect someone else to change their baby's name over this. OP is totally right to stick with Liam.
    via u/glyphdiceisabitch
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    Used-Violinist-6244 - 6 hr. ago Yeah, that was my reaction. 'That shouldn't have stopped her from using the name she loved.' It's not just SIL's kid. It'd be weird AF to find out one of my ex's had a kid with the same name as mine...
    via u/Used-Violinist-6244
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    Infinite Slide_5921 · 6 hr. ago It wouldn't be a big deal if it was an ex you didn't share a child with, but OP is insane to suggest that it's normal for a little girl to have two bothers with the same name.
    via u/Infinite_Slide_5921
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    celticmusebooks. 7 hr. ago Liam is the Irish Gaelic form of the name "William". She already has a son named William and Liam is one of several common nicknames for William.
    via u/celticmusebooks
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    If she brings this odd idea of you renaming your child again you need to take her aside and tell her that Liam is your son's name-- you aren't going to change it. Tell her you love her but her refusing to let it drop is concerning and making you uncomfortable. Make it clear the topic is no longer open for discussion.
    via u/celticmusebooks
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    Don't allow her to make up any "nicknames" for him-- that happened with a collegue's MIL who didn't get her "choice" name for the grandson and so used it has her "grandma's special nickname". Collegue and her husband shut that down by always correcting her -- and implying that she was having memory problems since she couldn't remember her grandson's name. NTA But if her husband wouldn't let her name their first son Liam why would he agree to name another son Liam?????
    via u/celticmusebooks
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    Tricky-Jellyfish-341-7 hr. ago NTA and hold your ground. Sil has a lot of irrelevant (to you) drama and history surrounding the name. You don't. Why in the world would you try to make your sil feel better about this? You named your baby your favorite name. Nothing else actually matters
    via u/Tricky-Jellyfish-341
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    Great_Art2493.7 hr. ago NTA I don't understand these family members that think they have a say in what someone names their baby. All of my sisters kids have terrible names, never said a word about it, because it's not my business.
    via u/Great_Art2493
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    blueavole 6 hr. ago NTA. I share a first and middle name with my cousin think Elizabeth Marie. And Beth Marie. So she could reuse it if she wanted. Never once caused a problem. Plus she already has a William. She could just call him Liam- except her husband hated it. She is taking out her frustration on an argument with him and pointing it at you. Silly. Ignore it
    via u/blueavole

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baby baby names entitled parents william liam sister in law dad names baby name in laws entitled naming nicknames mom name entitled people
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