Bridesmaid Refuses to Pitch in $500 for Lavish Wedding Gift, Gets Labeled 'Unsupportive' by Bridal Party

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    I told the maid of honor privately that I couldn't afford to chip in that much after all the other expenses, but I'd get Sarah a thoughtful, personal gift within my budget. She responded with, "Well, the rest of us are all doing it, and Sarah's been dreaming of this, so it would look bad if one bridesmaid didn't contribute."
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    r/AmltheAsshole • 8 hr. Sweetie_slutt AITA for refusing to chip in $500 for my friend's wedding gift when I'm already spending a lot just to attend?
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    My (30F) close friend "Sarah" (29F) is getting married next month. We've been friends for over 10 years, and I'm excited to attend her wedding. However, this whole situation has started to feel like a financial burden.
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    Sarah's wedding is a destination wedding in another country. I'm flying out, paying for the hotel (which is one of those all- inclusive resorts, not cheap), and even took a week off work to make it. In total, this trip is costing me about $2,000, and I'm doing it all because she's a
  • 05
    close friend and I want to be there for her big day. Here's where it gets tricky: a couple of days ago, her maid of honor (who I'm not super close to) sent out a group message to all the bridesmaids asking if we could each contribute $500
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    towards a big, extravagant wedding gift, something like a fancy honeymoon experience or some custom luxury item. I was a bit taken aback because I'm already spending a ton just to attend, and now there's this extra pressure to contribute to this super expensive gift.
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    I told the maid of honor privately that I couldn't afford to chip in that much after all the other expenses, but I'd get Sarah a thoughtful, personal gift within my budget. She responded with, "Well, the rest of us are all doing it, and Sarah's been dreaming of this, so it
  • 08
    would look bad if one bridesmaid didn't contribute." I stood my ground and said that I wouldn't be able to do it. Now, it's turned into this awkward situation where some of the bridesmaids are subtly hinting that I'm being cheap or unsupportive. I'm starting to feel
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    like I'm in the wrong, but I also don't want to put myself into financial stress over this. So, AITA for refusing to chip in $500 for a wedding gift when I'm already spending so much just to be at the wedding?
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    Butch-Cass-Sundance • 8h ago NTA. The maid of honor is a big AH. Any bridesmaids making you feel bad are also AHs. Weddings are super expensive, especially destinations and especially when you're in them. I'd imagine with the bridesmaid dress, costs while you're there, etc. It'll cost you way
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    more than $2,000. Asking anyone to contribute $500 to a gift is outlandish and out of touch. I would be appalled if I was Sarah. Stand your ground.
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    Mimila1111 • 8h ago Enthusiast [9] NTA. You have no obligation to go into debt for your friend's wedding. These destination weddings are somewhat ridiculous to begin with. It feels more like a money grab and keeping up with the joneses than wanting people to be with you to celebrate your special
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    occasion. And the MOH is being super aggressive. I wonder how many of the others truly want to give this $500 or just feel bullied into it.
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    lamlrene • 8h ago Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [... "Well, the rest of us are all doing it, and Sarah's been dreaming of this, so it would look bad if one bridesmaid didn't contribute." That's a threat, lol. Wow. She's gonna out you as cheap to the bride...which, of
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    course, you are not. It's just too much to ask on top of every thing else! OP, you are NTA and this whole situation feels bang out of order. You know MOH is driving this and will absolutely take all the credit for having arranged it. Her pressuring you is just...well it's gross.
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    QuietObserver75 • 8h ago Partassipant [2] NTA. Destination weddings are expensive for guests. You politely explained to her you maxed out your budget. The maid of honor should have left it there. It's not like you're asking to have your name put on a gift even though you can't contribute. And if they think it's weird that's on them. Not everyone can blow $500 on a wedding gift. But you're definitely NTA.
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    • aluriaphin 8h ago NTA and it's usually standard for a destination wedding that there are no gifts or they are much more modest. Obviously if someone is wealthy and can afford to gift big on top of the trip they will but for regular folks it's sort of understood that your guests are paying hundreds or thousands to go on vacation with you and their presence is their present.

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