28-year-old employee trying to keep up with the corporate ladder pretends like he knows Excel, gets promoted for just figuring it out along the way: ‘I went to YouTube University.’

Advertisement
  • guy typing on laptop computer, excel spreadsheet, work employee, IT, tech
  • "The Day I Lied About Knowing Excel and Accidentally Became a 'Data Guy'"

    So, this happened a little over a year ago, and I'm still pretending I know what I'm doing.
  • I (28M) work in a logistics company. Think spreadsheets, supply chains, and people saying things like "leverage synergy" without irony.
  • I was hired into a pretty generic coordinator role ,basically, I emailed a lot and tried not to di in back-to-back Zoom meetings.
  • One day, during a team meeting, someone casually says, "We need someone who knows Excel really well. Like, formulas and pivot tables and all that stuff."
  • Now, I do not know Excel really well. I know how to bold text. I once accidentally made a chart and couldn't figure out how to delete it.
  • But for some reason maybe it was the coffee, maybe it was the sheer boredom I said, "Yeah, I can help with that."
  • Cue immediate regret. My manager lights up like I just offered to fix the company's entire data strategy.
  • "Awesome!" she says. "You can be our data point person moving forward."
  • That week, they added me to like four different projects involving spreadsheets that looked like they were built by NASA engineers.
  • Rows and columns and formulas that stretched for miles. I opened one file and it literally crashed my laptop.
  • So what did I do? The only thing I could do.
  • excel spreadsheet, data analysts, numbers, crunching numbers, work, employee
  • I went to YouTube University.
  • For the next two weeks, every night was a crash course in Excel.
  • SUMIF, VLOOKUP, INDEX MATCH stuff I thought was made up suddenly became my lifeline.
  • I started speaking in cell references. I dreamed in conditional formatting.
  • And somehow, it worked. I didn't crash the system.
  • I even built a dashboard (read: followed a tutorial and slightly changed the colors). People started calling me "the Excel guy."
  • Eventually, I actually got moved to the analytics team. Like, that's my real title now.
  • I went from "random coordinator" to "Data Analyst❞ because I lied. Just once. In a meeting.
  • And now I spend my days pretending to be someone who knows what they're doing, which I guess is... kind of what adulthood is anyway?
  • Moral of the story: Never admit weakness in a corporate setting. Or do. Honestly, I still don't know.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article