17-year Old Cuts Contact With Absent Father After Years of Favoritism Towards His Step-brother, Tensions Rise With His Mother When She Finds Out

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 12, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. It's always heartbreaking when a parent isn't there for you. Growing up without a mother figure or father figure is difficult, and can cause problems in emotional development, attachment styles, and expectations in romantic relationships. It's hard to navigate the world without adult supervision, even when you're an adolescent and early adult. We all need a parent there for us. 

In this Reddit thread, the boy's parents divorced when he was very young, at only 2-years old. He hasn't really had a father figure after the divorce, as his dad went on to remarry and have another kid. As the boy turns 17 and approaches the time he'll be attending college, the father suddenly wants to make amends, and apologizes for not being there for the boy. Blindsided, the boy tells his father he's not interested in having a relationship with him, and I don't blame him.

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  • 01
    Entire life his other son has taken more importance, told me I'm the older brother so I should be stronger and not make a big deal out of it. I was 9 years old standing looking out the window waiting for my dad to show up just for him to call my mom to yell me he can't make it because other son has a dentist
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH • 16 hr. ago Only Wasabi7243 AITAH for telling my dad to cherish his other son because he's the only one he has left
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 03
    Made this account a few days ago, debated on actually posting about this bc it's stupid but here I am. So I'm 17m and I'm graduation high school this year. My parents divorced when I was like just shy of 2. Long time ago. Dad remarried mom remarried (then divorced again she's single).
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 04
    Dad had another son with his wife. His other son is 14.
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 05
    Entire life his other son has taken more importance, told me I'm the older brother so I should be stronger and not make a big deal out of it. I was 9 years old standing looking out the window waiting for my dad to show up just for him to call my mom to yell me he can't make it because other son has a dentist
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 06
    appointment and he's freaking out. It was literally just a check up. Yeah no sure understandable let me just go myself.
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 07
    Stupid things like that, he ditched my sport games for random reasons. Not even just because of my brother. He didn't come to my talent show when i was 15 because he didn't want to. That's it. Didn't want to. No plans nothing he had to be at. Just didnt want to. I spent months learning guitar and a song to play
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 08
    for him since he loves guitar he loves that song. Oh well let me go myself again.
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 09
    My parents don't have a good relationship but my mom doesn't keep him from me ive heard their conversations he just doesn't wanna be there. Idk. At one point I asked my mom if he really was my dad and she said yes and asked why im saying things like that. I asked why does he hate me then. Emotional moment but it
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 10
    passed. That happened just before my 17th birthday and since then I've just kind of stayed in my lane.
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 11
    If he reached out to me I'd say hi but I wouldn't ask him anything I wouldn't hug him if I saw him I wouldn't beg for time together. Kind of indifferent I guess. Not saying he was never in my life but he was really only there for the moments that literally any other person would call him a for if he wasn't there. Birthdays, short
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 12
    visits on Christmas, had surgery when I was younger he was there for that. Anything else tho and he was busy like 70% of the time.
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 13
    Well, last week he told me he regretted being so absent in my life. He told me he had pre planned a trip for him to drive me to college when I start. We would leave immediately following my graduation and we would just drive across the country. (INFO: not accepted to any college but I've spoken to the one I want to
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 14
    go to which is in Washington and it's basically guaranteed with my grades).
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 15
    I told him don't bother he should spend the summer with his son. I do want to say that I've never said no when he's asked to hang out or talk on the phone. I always said yes even when I didn't want to just to keep the peace and not cause issues. As far as im concerned tho i don't have a dad I have a mother and a man who
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 16
    occasionally spares time for his other kid.
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 17
    He didn't like my reply and said im his son to. Lol ngl I laughed and asked since when. We kinda fought after that and didn't end on a good vibe. I told him I was planning on dropping contact when I turned 18 since he was probably going to do the same so why bother keeping this relationship alive when he's never
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 18
    wanted to know me and I stopped wanting him to. He's been trying to reach out but I shut it down every time. He's dropped by but I don't see him he calls me I decline he messages mel ignore. Yesterday ago | messaged him:
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 19
    "HI dad, please stop trying to talk to me. I truly want no relationship with you. You never wanted one with me so I dont see why you're acting so hurt by this. I don't know if you never gave a about me because of your own hate for me or your wife who never let me come over I don't know I don't care I realized I do
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 20
    not have a dad a while ago and really accepted it recently. I'm not mad I just don't care. Keep the same energy now that you've had the last decade and stay away from me. I hope your relationship with your son stays just as important to you because he's your only kid. Have a good life."
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 21
    Dad told my mom, my mom's mad at me and told me I should give him a chance because he's trying. Not wrong, I do feel kinda bad because I could tell when he was describing our trip he was excited. Oh well. I wanted a dad to be proud of my achievements and my grades but instead I got a "good job" card from a drug store and a "im proud of you" text.
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 22
    Really sincere. Mom's still trying to guilt trip me and im starting to feel like I should just do the trip then block his number when I'm at college. It's another year of faking smiles with him and I just don't want to do that. It would be easier tho. for all this? Idk am I a
    via u/Only Wasabi7243
  • 23
    lux_roth_chop • 16h ago You're not any kind of In fact you're giving your dad exactly what he wanted all along - a son he doesn't talk to much, who stands on his own too feet and doesn't expect much from his dad.
    via u/lux_roth_chop
  • 24
    That's what he created. If he wants something different you both need to agree. It's not up to him to decide you'll be a happy family now.
    via u/lux_roth_chop
  • 25
    • Ok_Lead_7443 16h ago NTA, not even close. I would probably do the same thing. He was an absent, father. He doesn't get to decide to have a relationship. with you now.
    via u/Ok_Lead_7443
  • 26
    You don't owe him anything. Protect your peace. Maybe someday, you'll choose to forgive, maybe not. But it's your choice, not his.
    via u/Ok_Lead_7443

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