'I didn't make your drink wrong, Amy': 25+ Ridiculous tales from retail workers who can't get their customers to understand them

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Sep 18, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Retail workers should be paid, at minimum, $250k a year to deal with their silliest customers. Many low-paid jobs are underpaying their workers: the employees make minimum wage as they work incredibly hard and often under intense pressure from their managers. There are plenty of cushy office jobs that pay 6 or 7 figures each year, and these aren't even close to being as difficult as your average retail worker's job. 

Retail workers have to deal with the full range of humanity, from the super sweet regulars to the unhinged angry Karens. And they also have a ton of people who will ask the dumbest questions possible. They'll ask questions so dim-witted that they aren't even addressed in the employee handbook. For example, one person spent a long time explaining the concept of buying 3 of something for the price of 2 (or buy two, get one free). The customer simply could not grasp the concept! A different person had a customer ask them if the out-of-service elevator was broken on all floors… Immediate face palm. You can check out a bunch of hilariously inept customer questions down below! 

Up next, read about the retail employee who discovered an interesting detail when their boss declared, "We don't pay you to be 2 minutes late." 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10405389056
    via Ashim D’Silva on Unsplash
  • 02
    Retail workers, What's the dumbest thing you've had to explain to a customer?
    via u/Fragmented-Rooster
  • 03
    pajmage "Why are you shut tomorrow?" "Uhh...because its Christmas day?" "But what if I need something?" "You...youre in the store now? Just buy it now?" "But I dont need it now!" II II
    via u/pajmage
  • 04
    starkpaella It smells like dirt because it's a greenhouse and that's where we plant the plants. Also sun loving means it loves the sun.
    via u/starkpaella
  • 05
    vagabondsean Back in the day I worked at Safeway and a woman walked up to my meat counter and started asking me where a specific sale item was, like $1 a pound chicken or something. I tell her that's not sale we have. And she starts SCREAMING. I YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU BAIT AND YOU SWITCH! YOU ADVERTISE ONE THING AND THEN
    via u/vagabondsean
  • 06
    REFUSE TO HONOR THE PRICE! EVERYTIME SINGLE TIME I COME HERE AND IM SICK OF IT!" She then shoves the store ad in my face and aggressively points at the $1 a pound chicken on sale. "Ma'am this is Safeway. That's a Kroger ad" She looks at it and says " oh. Oops" and walks out as I stand there just freaking baffled at what just happened.
    via u/vagabondsean
  • 07
    Also working meat department every Thanksgiving morning I would have to explain to at least 5 people that you cannot thaw and cook and 20 pound turkey by this evening.
    via u/vagabondsean
  • 08
    BetaOscarBeta I didn't make your drink wrong, Amy. You ordered a large hot drink, and immediately after paying the barista put out a small cold drink and yelled "Jennifer." Then, Amy, you picked it up and took a sip before realizing it was not your large, hot drink.
    via u/BetaOscarBeta
  • 09
    Shift lead sent me on break before I had a chance to fully explode.
    via u/BetaOscarBeta
  • 10
    GraniteBoy (Phone call when I worked in a hardware store) "Good morning, <hardware store name>, how can I help you?" "Hi there. I'd like to refill my prescription" "Oh, I'm sorry - I think you have the wrong number. This is a hardware store"
    via u/GraniteBoy
  • 11
    <5 second pause> "So you won't help me refill my prescription?" "What sort of prescription?" "My birth control pill" "OK well we're a hardware store, so we don't have birth control or any other medication" "You're not being very helpful at all"
    via u/GraniteBoy
  • 12
    And then she hung up... I might have done society a disservice by not helping prevent her from procreating, come to think about it...
    via u/GraniteBoy
  • 13
    LadyCiani A chicken is an animal. Therefore it's not vegetarian. Worked in a vitamin store in college and was explaining to someone that vitamin D is extracted from lanolin in sheep's wool, so it depended on if you were vegan or not.
    via u/LadyCiani
  • 14
    And they hit me with fish and birds are not animals. The specific thing she said: "What about a chicken? It's not an animal, it's a fowl!" My assistant manager told her something like, "Oh well remember the 20 questions game? Is it animal, mineral, or vegetable? A chicken isn't an a mineral or vegetable."
    via u/LadyCiani
  • 15
    They left in a huff and made huge complaints about us. Me in particular because I couldn't believe how stupid they were (and I have no poker face). I was not/am not cut out for retail.
    via u/LadyCiani
  • 16
    Le_Gazzo_Ladro That if you tell the selfcheckout no i don't want my receipt. It won't print out your receipt.
    via u/Le_Gazzo_Ladro
  • 17
    good_rat Former retail worker. The store I worked at through college would do a "friends and family" event twice a year. If you had a membership or received one of the discount cards, you received 30% off your entire purchase. The receipt showed the breakdown over each item for the discount.
    via u/g00d_rat
  • 18
    There was one woman who would come in EVERYRTIME trying to return one item and would argue with our staff about why she wasn't getting "what she paid for it." We'd point to the item and the amount subtracted to it from the discount and she wasn't having it. Insisted on asking for a manager everytime and causing a
    via u/g00d_rat
  • 19
    huge scene. She could never get it through her head that she didn't pay full price for the item. It happened so often that staff would sigh when she'd come into the store because we knew she was going to pull the same stunt. It was exhausting.
    via u/g00d_rat
  • 20
    Chaoticist523 I work in a deli. We've gotten some doozies. "What flavor are the plain breaded wings?" "Chicken." -from my wife. My personal favorite that happened to me, went as such: Customer: "Hi, I'd like some sliced chicken lunch meat, what you got?"
    via u/Chaoticist523
  • 21
    Me: "We carry oven roasted, buffalo, and garlic & herb." Customer: You're not understanding me boy! I want sliced chicken lunch meat, now what you got?" Me: "Oven roasted, buffalo, or garlic & herb." Customer: "You're still not gettin' me son, I want sliced chicken lunch meat! Now tell me what you have, !"
    via u/Chaoticist523
  • 22
    Me: "Oven roasted, chicken lunch meat. Buffalo, chicken lunch meat. Garlic and herb, chicken lunch meat." Customer: "Oh. Uhhhhh gimme some balogna." Still don't know how I didn't get in trouble for sassing that
    via u/Chaoticist523
  • 23
    MNJayW Back when printers at home were rare I had a woman come into my store asking for t-shirt transfer paper. I explained to her multiple times how to use them. Print on the paper then pin to shirt then iron.
    via u/MNJayW
  • 24
    30 minutes later she came back with the printer and paper wanting a refund because the shirt got stuck in the printer.
    via u/MNJayW
  • 25
    [deleted] If you enter your PIN in wrong 5 times for an EBT card, it will lock up and you'll have to call the number on the back to get it unlocked. This isn't something the cashier does, or the store, it's the cards way of protecting itself I guess. The amount of people who would scream at me, insult my intelligence, swear at me
    via u/[deleted]
  • 26
    and call me names, all because they locked their card up, was insane. And there wasn't anything I could do but void the order or let them pay with another form of payment. Sometimes I warned them after 2 or 3 tries, but that seemed to make them angrier when it happened.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 27
    the public, man. People are so hateful now days. and
    via u/[deleted]
  • 28
    de_nominator I actually have one for this. Worked in car parking customer service for a few years. Had to explain to a lady why she was being charged for an hour and a half, instead of letting her out for free under the "half an hour free" rate ... When her vehicle had been in the car park. Parked. For an hour and a half.
    via u/de_nominator
  • 29
    Her reasoning? "I only intended to stay 20 minutes" "My system shows me you were here for an hour and a half" "Yes, but I only intended to be here for 20 minutes" "But.....you were ACTUALLY here for an hour and a half..."
    via u/de_nominator
  • 30
    Ended up having to explain over 5 minutes how rates work, and how you get charged for the time in the park. Wild.
    via u/de_nominator
  • 31
    throwaway1332... A woman tried to tell me yesterday PO Boxes no longer exist lol. I didn't even bother. I was just like "oh, very strange"
    via u/throwaway133245617
  • 32
    Ackmiral_Adbar This is sort of the opposite of what you are asking, but I once tried to buy some model rocket engines from a big box retailer. The cashier was prompted to ask if I was 15 years old. I answered that I was, in fact, 27 years old.
    via u/Ackmiral_Adbar
  • 33
    The cashier said "I'm sorry, I can't sell these to you unless you are 15." I asked to speak to a supervisor and we got things straightened out.
    via u/Ackmiral_Adbar
  • 34
    gbosnorthend Why is the front of my dishwasher blue?? ...did you remove the protective film?
    via u/gbosnorthend
  • 35
    DannyC990 Back when checks were popular, an older lady mistakenly wrote her check to Walmart when she was actually shopping in Kmart. Instead of making the correction, she wanted to argue that she was shopping in a Walmart and that Kmart had gone out of business many years ago.
    via u/DannyC990
  • 36
    buffalotrace I once had a lady that wanted fresh dried fruit. I took her to the dried mango, banana chips, etc. no they wasn't it. I took her to the raisins and figs. Nope. Outbid ideas, I took her to the fruit preserves. Oh there it was. Grape jelly. She wanted grape jelly.
    via u/buffalotrace
  • 37
    SeeMarkFly I was a Maytag repairman. A customer brought in a multicolored felt mat and asked for a new one. I had to explain that was lint from the lint trap.
    via u/SeeMarkFly
  • 38
    andsusie The elevator had a sign that read 'out of order', Customer asked if it was out of order on all of the floors.
    via u/andsusie
  • 39
    Viazon I had to explain 3 for 2. If you bought 2, you could get a third one free. They couldn't understand it. It was really bizarre.
    via u/Viazon
  • 40
    JnyBlkLabel Had an older (though not senior citizen) man who was 100% certain that were stealing money from his bank account because it kept showing $100 "charges" to the ATM at our location. After a series of questions he stated he sends his son in to pick up his prescriptions and gives him his debit to pay. Pointing out to him (from his own
    via u/JnyBlkLabel
  • 41
    bank statement) that the $100 charges match the dates of the prescription pickups made him only more. emphatic that someone from the store was using his card to steal his money. Even pointing out that his bank statement specified the $100 as coming from an atm did nothing to sway his mind.
    via u/JnyBlkLabel
  • 42
    He stood at the front door staring at us for 20 minutes before finally leaving. Sorry dude, your kids a and you're an idiot. I cant fix either of those.
    via u/JnyBlkLabel
  • 43
    jennyrob669 The amount of times I had to explain that any Euros can be spent the same in any country that accepts Euros and there aren't separate or specific notes for France, Germany, Greece, Spain, Austria etc etc it's scary.
    via u/jennyrob669
  • 44
    Q A coupon for a free gift with purchase, mailed out in April, said "now - May 15th". Customer came in June looking for his free gift and was I we didn't have it anymore. He kept saying "but it says now!"
    via u/QueenOfCaffeine842
  • 45
    randypriest That the ice cream they'd brought in for a refund was: 1. empty 2. they didn't have a receipt 3. it was the own brand of a different supermarket
    via u/randypriest
  • 46
    HawaiianShirtsOR Customer: What's the difference between the 17- inch monitor and the 19-inch monitor? Me: Two inches and 40 dollars. Customer: But what's the difference?
    via u/HawaiianShirtsOR
  • 47
    Me: This one is bigger by two inches, measured diagonally, and more expensive by 40 dollars. Customer: No, but what's the difference?! This went on for several minutes. He left without making a purchase.
    via u/HawaiianShirtsOR
  • 48
    retailguy_again The number of customers to whom I've had to explain the difference between left and right is greater than zero. These have all been adults. I wish I were kidding.
    via u/retailguy_again
  • 49
    Witty_Comment... I've had to explain to customers that their coupon has to actually be for the product they're buying. Yes, a $3 coupon for a skin care product is a good coupon, however I cannot apply it to your cereal purchase.
    via u/Witty_Commentator
  • 50
    jandslegate Someone wanted a discount because the early spring. PERENNIAL flowering shrubs wouldn't flower all summer long. Not that they wouldn't live, that they would not flower. Like nature was a customer service issue.
    via u/jandslegate
  • 51
    NotoriousREV Not my story but one from a friend of mine. He's an upholsterer. In his early career he worked for a well known national furniture chain as a service upholsterer, visiting customers who had faults with their purchases or who had damaged their furniture but had taken out the insurance.
    via u/NotoriousREV
  • 52
    This one customer was complaining about a mark on her leather sofa and he told her it was a scar in the hide and it was normal and not something he could fix. "What do you mean 'scar'?" "Well, it's probably from the cow rubbing against barbed wire at some point, or a tree branch or something"
    via u/NotoriousREV
  • 53
    "Cow? COW?! Are you telling me my sofa was walking round as a cow once?!" He tried explaining several times where leather comes from but she point blank refused to believe him.
    via u/NotoriousREV
  • 54
    TEAMTINU Dumbest thing, or customer, I had to explain is that there is no such thing as "lo cal" or lo calorie honey. It's "local" for cryin out loud. FACK.
    via u/TEAMTINU
  • 55
    RosesUnderCyp... I used to work at a Goodwill. Guy rolled up with a 5 bag donation of mowed grass. clippings and told me very nonchalantly to just "take 'em".
    via u/RosesUnderCypresses
  • 56
    [deleted] I took a phone call and answered all the questions that she scrolled by on our google profile. She said, וי will call back later and see if you're busy. What's your phone number". I replied, "the exact same number you dialed that lead to the conversation we are having now".
    via u/[deleted]

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cash register retail shopping retail worker coworkers working cashier workplace karen shoppers
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