Woman Considers Uninviting Self-Centered Mother From Her Wedding After She Ruins Her Dress Shopping Experience: ‘I blocked her on everything’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Sep 25, 2024 10:00 PM EDT

A woman's wedding day is one of the most special times in her life. Finding the perfect dress, the perfect florals, the perfect venue… I could go on. The point is, it's difficult to refrain from striving for perfection when it comes to this (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime celebration. For the ladies who couldn't care less, I envy you. It's difficult to expect everything will go right when there are certain people in your life who make your celebration all about them. This can be a sister, a brother, or even your mother. The woman in this story is dealing with her mom who starts trying to call the shots in the months leading up to the big day.

The original poster (OP) starts off by telling us that she and her mother have a slightly turbulent relationship. Her mother seems to have a short fuse, and what comes along with a bad temper is usually bad news for a wedding celebration.

The OP was ecstatic when her mother seemed "in good spirits" on the first day of dress shopping. By the grace of the wedding gods, the woman found her dress at the first store they went to. Her mother got pushy and began recommending other dresses, though the OP reiterated that she was fine and told her mother to look for her own dress. Things go awry when her mother attempts to schedule a brunch, and the restaurant she booked is double-booked. Instead of letting this damper the fun, the OP was quick on her feet and found a cafe for everyone to eat at and enjoy. The mother starts whining, and things go south from there. It ends with the woman blocking her mother, and even seven months after this ordeal, her mother will not apologize. The woman is considering uninviting her mother for the sake of keeping her wedding drama-free

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  • 01
    I had had it at this point. After dinner, I was silent in the car and we dropped her off at her airbnb with my grandmother. I blocked her on everything and cut her out.
    via Oana Lupescu
  • 02
    AITA: For Not Inviting My Mom To My Wedding?
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
  • 03
    I (25F) am marrying my Fiancé (28M) in May and I am highly considering not inviting my mom to our wedding. Let me give a little background. My mother and grandmother flew across the country to go
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
  • 04
    wedding dress shopping with me, my friends and future MIL last February. Months leading up to this, I was calling my dad (my parents are divorced) explaining to him how nervous I was for my mom to join us dress shopping
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
  • 05
    because she has a tendency to blow things. up that are not going her way. When she arrived with my grandmother, She seemed in great spirits. The first day of dress shopping, we had two appointments and
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
  • 06
    I actually found my dress at the first shop. At the first appointment my mother kept trying to bring me princess cut dresses, but I explained to her that when scheduling the appointments I had filled out surveys and picked
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    out dresses from their website to try on. I also explained that the dresses were nice, but I never imagined myself wearing a princess cut dress on my wedding day. During the second appointment, I had felt like
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
  • 08
    I had already found my dress so I gave in and tried on the dresses my mother wanted. A few of them she really liked, but once again I stated that I do not want to wear a princess cut dress to my wedding. I could tell she was getting
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
  • 09
    frustrated, so I told her they had Mother of the Bride dresses there and she should try some on since I felt pretty committed to the dress at the last shop. On the second day, my mom stated that she
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
  • 10
    wanted to take my friends, grandma, MIL and I to a nice brunch before the last dress appointment. On our way to breakfast, the dress store called me saying they had double booked, but could get me in an hour earlier. So, I
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    pivoted our breakfast plans to a little cafe close to the dress shop so we could still get a quick bite before the appointment. Once arriving at the appointment, my mother pulled me aside while we were all walking in and
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    said "I guess I will keep my ng mouth shut since nothing I say seems to be right" I calmly asked her what she was talking about and she said that I had "turned down every idea she had and that my behavior was an
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    embarrassment in front of my future MIL". I asked my mom what I had specifically said as I was truly confused and upset as she knew I had been trying to make a good impression on my MIL. I apologized if I had made
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    her feel that way as it was not my intention. She said that "this is a big day for her too and we couldn't even go to a nice brunch spot like she wanted." I then walked into the dress store, tried on a
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    dress and began to sob. I think people thought I was crying because I loved the dress, but I was upset because I felt like my mothers timing for yelling at me was intentional.
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    Fast forward to later that day, I had scheduled an appointment to pick up the dress I had found at the very first store from the day before. My friends had left and my mother, MIL and grandmother headed to the store. My
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    mother sat on her phone in the dress store and did not look up once. Even when I said "yes to the dress". I began trying on veils and my MIL asked my mother's opinion and my mother said loudly "it doesn't matter what I think" and kept scrolling.
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    After buying my dress we met my fiancé for dinner and my mother kept making passive aggressive comments in conversation like "I am going to a nice brunch tomorrow since I haven't gotten to this whole trip" and "I am not
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    going to say sorry for things I am not sorry for". I had had it at this point. After dinner, I was silent in the car and we dropped her off at her airbnb with my grandmother. I blocked her on everything and cut her out.
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    I did not talk to my mom for about 7 months, even though my grandmother continuously tried to guilt trip me and told me that it was stressing her out which is bad for her health.
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    I reached out to my friends, grandmother and MIL after dress shopping asking if I had said anything mean or offensive during the time my mother was in town and none of them could
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    think of a single conversation where I was During this time, I did a lot of reflection on my relationship with my mom and began to realize this was a repeating pattern. She had made me cry
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    before prom, she made my graduation from high school and design school about her divorce, and made my cross country move about her. I reached out to family members back home and they told me stories about events I could not attend- baby
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    showers, bridal showers, birthdays etc. and said my mother had blown up at those too. Last week, I called my mom for the first time and she apologized for her timing when it came to yelling at me, but not for
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    anything else. She then said that it was also her day that was ruined, as wedding dress shopping was also a big day for her and my grandmother. I feel like I am in a lose lose situation here as I want to be able to enjoy
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    my wedding and not have my mom blow up like she has at many occasions in the past, but I also feel like if I do not invite her she will hold it over my head for the rest of my life. AITA for not inviting my mom to my wedding?
    via Spare_Afternoon_4314
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    MotherOfCats1102 • 1d ago As someone who also has a toxic, narcissistic mom it's time to cut her loose. She is just going to cause a scene on your big day. Block her. Apologize to your grandma but sit her down and explain all of these situations and occasions your mom has ruined and made about herself. She'll be hurt, but she'll understand.
    via MotherOfCats1102
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    20 BirdWise2851 • 1d ago Ultimately what's worse- inviting her and having her blow up your wedding or not inviting her and having it held over you for years? Both seem to be about the same so personally, as someone who had to call out their own mother for trying to give an ultimatum before my wedding, I'd go with not inviting her.
    via BirdWise2851

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