'Talking to them like adults': Parents consider things that may be considered bad parenting, but are actually good parenting

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 21, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

No two parents are exactly the same, and everyone (the childless included) seems to have an opinion on which way is the best way to be raising kids. There are many different parenting methods out there, all of which have the potential to annoy and upset certain groups of people just because it isn't the way that they would want to do it. 

Nonetheless, this didn't stop Reddit from attempting to answer the question "What is considered bad parenting but it's actually good parenting?". Unsurprisingly, Redditors were ready with plenty of different examples of things they thought were right that they suspected others might not like so much. While some of these may not seem so controversial, there are moms and dads who definitely wouldn't want to adhere to them. There isn't necessarily a one-size-fits-all approach that can be taken with parenting, it can help to have some basic universal ground rules.

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    via Toa Heftiba

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    What is considered bad parenting but it's actually good parenting?
    via Aarunascut
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    Oxen1morale Letting your kids fail and face the consequences. It's how they learn... really.... Your not helping them if you "protect" them. (Of course within reason).
    via Oxen1morale
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    DJDaytrip Letting your kids ask "why". I mean of course there are limits, which should evolve as they, and you, grow, but still...help em understand. Chances are you create a kid that can I dunno, think critically
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    Articulationized Letting children get hurt. Minor injuries are not actually harmful. Kids should fall down, accidentally cut themselves, stub their toes, etc. These are high yield learning experiences.
    via Articulationized
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    Kevin6131Uz Teaching your kids to be adults. People are aghast when my wife and I tell them that our kids know how to cook for themselves, know how to do their own laundry, know how to load and unload the dishwasher and wash pots and pans, know how to manage their money, and know how to actually take care of themselves. People are shocked because they think they have to do all that stuff for their kids. Then they wonder why their kids never leave their basements.
    via Kevin6131Uz
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    ShadowCaster0476 Standing your ground and letting your kids scream when you tell them no. Kids like the rest of us follow the path of least resistance. If a tantrum doesn't produce results, they will stop.
    via ShadowCaster0476
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    GYN-k4H-Q3Z-75B Apparently setting boundaries. Karen: "My kid can do what he wants!"
    via GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B
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    doitpow Allowing your kids plenty of time alone without supervision. Alone- alone, not in the room online etc, somehwere unsupervised where they can explore something. Indulging genuine passions even if they seem 'stupid' to you like obsessing over machines or boardgames. You never know what could turn into a profession or just a fun hobby later. Encouraging them to engage with it in a curious way rather than passively. Encouraging kids to trust strangers and learn that the world is actually a v
    via doitpow
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    crimsonavenger77 We don't let our 12 year old daughter have social media or unfettered access to the Internet. She has a dumb phone, and that's all. My sister has told us a few times that we're making her the odd one out. My 15-year-old boy has a smartphone and Internet access, but we keep an eye on it. I'm 46 years old and maybe a wee bit old fashioned, but some of the I've seen and read even on reddit has shocked me, so I don't want them exposed to this too soon.
    via crimsonavenger77
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    usernamescifi letting kids be bored. I dunno when parents decided that it's their job to keep their children entertained 24/7 but I wholeheartedly disagree. I dunno, kids should learn how to deal with boredom on their own. it's kind of an essential life skill... and by dealing with boredom I don't mean just handing them a device to play with. they should go run outside, or draw, or read, or play with friends, or do something productive.
    via usernamescifi
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    Which_Investment2730 I do not have the hubris to answer this question. I parent the way that makes sense to me and the way I am able to do consistently. You have to have some gigantic to declare yourself a "good parent" before your kid is old enough to point out all the ways up (and you will. Early and often). you've
    via Which_Investment2730
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    BackltUpWithLinks Not immediately answering a question I've been criticized when my son asks and I ask back "what have you done to try to find the answer?" We were at a friend's house and I did it and friend said "that's and started to answer my son. I stopped her and said it's NOT he needs to learn how to find information for himself, and I wouldn't let her answer him until after he told me what he did to find an answer. He said he found two sites with different info, and then we talked and fig
    via BackItUpWithLinks
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    Occupationalupside Letting kids learn from their lessons. I hated it growing up, but my parent's method of catching me whenever I fell was so much better than them being helicopter parents. It really and truly eventually (I might add) to find my way and know how to stand up for myself and take care of myself.
    via Occupationalupside
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    Ncnativehuman Limiting added sugars and ultra processed foods. Soo many staple kids foods are just not healthy at all
    via Ncnativehuman
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    Espeon06 Not helping them get up every single time they trip.
    via Espeon06
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    c00lienyer Guiding your adolescent/young adult: • Talking to them about your life experiences and where they led instead of sitting by while they self-destruct. Holding them accountable for their choices. • Asking them to contribute to the household necessities. • Discussing possible goals and options to provide direction and a formidable plan.
    via c00lienyer
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    ssigrist Letting your children interact with others that have different value systems.
    via ssigrist
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    Mental Elk4332 One example is setting firm boundaries and saying "no" to children, which can often be perceived as bad parenting in a culture that values constant approval and indulgence. However, setting clear limits and enforcing rules can actually be very beneficial for children. It helps them understand expectations, develop self- discipline, and learn how to handle disappointment. Good parenting involves guiding children with consistency and providing them with the tools to navigate the wor
    via Mental_Elk4332
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    Working Early Talking to them like adults, as in less being upfront and truthful, even when it's difficult
    via Working_Early

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kids parenting advice family reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail parents children
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