'Stroke, but make a slurping sound so there's no confusion': 26 Ridiculous Responses From Daft Doggo Lovers Debating Over Licking Their Dogs

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Sep 29, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

Well, readers, we've officially explored enough of the internet today. We come across a lot of weird things during our search to bring you some of the best animal memes, the most heartwarming rescue stories, and anything else we can find, but we can honestly say that this thread we will remember until the end of our days. Reddit is a strange place, filled with hilarious doggos, silly kitties, and a bunch of weird people asking even stranger questions.

One doggo pawrent asked the question "Would my dog like it if I licked her back?" and you know we just had to click on it. How could we resist a pawsitively tempting thread like this, knowing that the internet would come out with howlarious responses for us to giggle at. And boy, were we right! From "stroke, but make a slurping sound so there's no confusion" to "Start under the tail if they've been a really good boy", the humor just gets weirder and weirder. It's something you have to see for yourself, so scroll down to see the silliness all in one place. Have a great week!

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  • 01
    Would my dog like it if I licked her back?
    via u/Region-Certain
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10409272064
    via Valeriia Boiko
  • 03
    I read that a dog licking you is affection and that rejecting it hurts their feelings. Is this true? Would my dog like it if I licked her in return? I pet her and occasionally kiss her head.
    via u/Region-Certain

    In all fairness, it's a very reasonable question. We show love the way we want to receive love, so it would make sense that if your dog licks you, it would want to be licked back….but at the same time, not at all. We think our dog is fine with all the kisses we give her. No tongue necessary.

  • 04
    sparkle_motion • 9h ago • "ER staff say do NOT lick the dog" "no tongue kisses!" "stroke but make a slurping sound so there's no confusion" help, this thread is too wild
    via u/sparkle_motion
  • 05
    Weary_Hiker 9h ago • I'm at the ER vet with my dog and it's been a rough night here, so I just showed this to some of the staff. They needed the laugh They ALL agree. Do NOT lick your dog
    via u/Weary_Hiker

    It doesn't sound very sanitary, but then again, we let our dogs lick our faces, so that also isn't sanitary. We're not medical experts, so we'll leave you to make your own decisions, but we tend to agree with ER vets.

  • 06
    Agreeable-Score2154 9h ago • I did lick my dog once and he gave me a look like I was an absolute freak and he was right
    via u/Agreeable-Score2154
  • 07
    chickpeasaladsammi... 9h ago • Dogs know we're not dogs. My dog occasionally tries to stick his tongue straight down my earhole but I don't think he's secretly wishing I'd return the "favor." Tummy rubs and neck scritches seem pretty good.
    via u/chickpeasaladsammi
  • 08
    • mydoghank 8h ago • "They're licking the dogs. They're licking the cats. They're licking the pets."
    via u/mydoghank
  • 09
    StructureSudden8217 • 10h ago Licking is like the dog version of petting us. Do not lick the dog
    via u/StructureSudden8217
  • 10
    CrowsNotHoes • 9h ago • I once smelled my dogs head after he sniffed my face and he looked at me like I was a freak, so i think dogs do not like it when we act like dogs lol.
    via u/CrowsNotHoes
  • 11
    butterflytransformed 9h ago . I tried this.. and instantly regretted it. Not only does he taste funny but he was also freaked out!
    via u/butterflytransformed
  • 12
    Jaspoezazyaazantyr • 9h ago • my dogs happily will let me brush their teeth daily with their chicken flavored toothpaste, & they get good checkups at the vet's dental cleaning with no teeth requiring extractions. They let me touch their feet & trim & file their claws reluctantly. but I've only ever just freaked them out when I try to lick them, so don't lick :)
    via u/Jaspoezazyaazantyr
  • 13
    No-Proposal-7722 9h ago. • Life's too short to not lick the dog back. It is dangerous though because usually it ends up just a French kiss and that's not good for either party.
    via u/No-Proposal-7722
  • 14
    boredlurkerjr · 10h ago • • Ya... just pet her, she won't mind at all if you don't lick her. Give her tons of kisses ( not tongue kisses) and cuddles, she will like that. Just a weird question you have asked lol!
    via u/boredlurkerjr
  • 15
    failedjedi_opens_jar • 9h ago • This is maybe the best comment section that has ever been. And the jury is still out btw. No conclusive evidence in either direction. My vote? Do it but maybe have some mouthwash ready.
    via u/failedjedi_opens_jar
  • 16
    Allyraptorr 9h ago • please don't lick your dog....they like normal kisses, pets, and scratches. They only lick up bc it's what they've got and what they do. don't lick your dog.
    via u/Allyraptorr
  • 17
    PukeyPuke420 · 9h ago • • Somebody take this man's dog away
    via u/PukeyPuke420
  • 18
    • Lord_DerpyNinja 9h ago • Shiba inu It is not worth how weird it is even if the dog likes it. Stick to petting imo
    via u/Lord_DerpyNinja
  • 19
    ansaonapostcard • 10h ago • By stroking your dog you're simulating licking them. I like to make a slurping sound to make sure there's no confusion! Not in public obviously.
    via u/ansaonapostcard
  • 20
    • muchly_confused ⚫ 9h ago. Imo licking is their kissing. I volunteer at a shelter and by default make kissy sounds at dogs as part of my happy talk and they pretty universally respond by trying to lick me. On my face. Usually they go for the mouth. I've gotten very good at strategically turning my face away or biting my lips to avoid it. Just kiss her head.
    via u/muchly_confused
  • 21
    Throwing TheRinger • 9h ago • Aaaand that's enough internet for today
    via u/ThrowingTheRinger
  • 22
    butt_spaghetti • 9h ago • I'm gonna lick my dog. No one can stop me.
    via u/butt_spaghetti
  • 23
    beltalowda_oye ·8h ago. I saw a video of someone do this to a pug and the pug freaked out lol
    via u/beltalowda_oye
  • 24
    fritosfeet 6h ago • I licked my dog back to see a reaction and she was confused and inched away. I also did not like having fur in my mouth. Don't recommend. Two paws down
    via u/fritosfeet
  • 25
    wookie_cookies • 9h ago • my dog lifts her paws to my face and I kiss her cheeto feet
    via u/wookie_cookies
  • 26
    Maverick1672 • 3h ago • Yup, that's enough reddit for today.
    via u/Maverick1672
  • 27
    HempKnight1234 .7h ago . Definitely lick your dog. Start under the tail if they have been an especially good boy
    via u/HempKnight1234
  • 28
    DaveinOakland · 9h ago • I have spent zero time looking into whether or not it does something but I've done it with all my pets, both cats and dogs. I like to kind of close mouthed nibble on their heads when they are puppies/kittens the way a mother dog nibbles on their puppies. I feel like it's a strong bonding move. They seem to love it.
    via u/DaveinOakland
  • 29
    kittykitty117 · 9h ago. • Giving rubs and attention without fluid exchange is best. Being a pet owner is all about balancing their wants and needs vs. what is healthy for them and/or you. I suggest that you don't lick your dog for health reasons. They might like it, nobody knows, but what we do know it that they like your attention and there are many ways to give them attention which do not pose a health risk. I kiss my dog on his face and tummy sometimes so I'm not here to judge, just sayin.
    via u/kittykitty117

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dogs lick doggos doggo ridiculous silly licking dog lovers animals
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