'I was stunned to discover my door on the ground': College student determined to make tacos breaks down dorm doors because they looked "the same"

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Sep 27, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

There are some absolutely wild things happening in these student dorms! 

If you've ever lived in a college freshman dorm, you already know that the hilarity never stops. When you first arrive, you have nothing to do except get to know the people in your dorm and make plans to do fun activities around campus. Some people are already pros at living on their own. But most of them are 18-year-olds who've gone from living with Mom and Dad to suddenly being thrust into the real world for a harsh awakening. They suddenly have to wake themselves up for class, make their own meals, and plan out their own study time. Not everyone handles the adjustment with ease!

This teacher is in the interesting position of living with the freshman. They like that they can get to class quickly, but there are some drawbacks to living with a bunch of kids, as they shared in their very funny story below. Check out the full story, as well as comments from people who couldn't believe how inept this student was. 

Next, take a peek into what kind of mildly infuriating things these local thrift stores are up to, like one that decided "to use staples for clothing tags." 

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    Cheezburger Image 10409770496
    via Ave Calvar on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    Kevin Makes Tacos I lived in one of those student dorm buildings where every dorm is like an identical tiny apartment. I was a teacher, so it was pretty sweet: I could go from my bedroom to my classroom within 10 minutes! There was only one downside, and it was a doozy... I'm sure you can guess. Living in the dorm meant I had to live with freshman students, and all their antics. They were harmless, but
    via u/Audinot
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    one Kevin in the building really stood out. This particular Kevin was a large man, and no I don't mean "fat," | mean a real hulk of a man. Like Schwarzennegger if he was also nine feet tall. Encountering Kevin was like encountering a wall. If Kevin wanted to do something, Kevin was doing it, and no natural force on Earth was powerful enough to stop him.
    via u/Audinot
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    One day, while I was at work, Kevin went to the grocery store and obtained an obscene amount of taco supplies. Kevin had never cooked a meal himself before, and later admitted he wasn't sure how much he'd need to make himself a taco dinner, so he simply purchased the depth of an entire grocery cart's worth of ingredients.
    via u/Audinot
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    Upon returning to the dorm, Kevin encountered a problem: he was new to the dorm, and every floor, door, and unit looked "the same." (Readers, every floor was a different colour, with different decorations, but I suppose they are similar.) Kevin could not remember which floor or unit was his. So he tried my door. When my door failed to open when he used his code, he did not give up and try the next one. No. Instead, he determined the best course of
    via u/Audinot
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    action would be to break the door down. According to my neighbours, Kevin ran down the length of the hall and busted my door open himself like an angry freight train. He then fetched the grocery cart from the hall and proceeded to use my kitchen. You may think it was early in the year and he wasn't used to the building yet, and maybe that's what Kevin believes... But we had lived there for MONTHS. Kevin still hadn't
    via u/Audinot
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    learned his floor or his unit number. When I got home from a long day of work, I was stunned to discover my door on the ground and a young man in my kitchen, casually cooking an absolutely biblical amount of ground beef. My neighbours, themselves very young, were genuinely stunned and unsure of how to handle the situation, given that he was their own classmate. They explained
    via u/Audinot
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    the situation to me and I gave Kevin a very stern talk about the consequences for breaking down my door. Kevin welled up and began to cry. He may have been shaped like an adult, but he was very much just a big kid with a forgetful Kevin brain. So that's how I ended up stepping in and helping a bunch of terrified freshmen learn to cook a mean taco filling. Kevin was made to report the broken
    via u/Audinot
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    door to management immediately, but he took responsibility and the worried students helped me to clean up the mess. The building manager had a new door and frame installed the next day.
    via u/Audinot
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    Two days later, I arrived home to a broken door. Kevin had wanted to make up for the taco nightmare, and he remembered that I had "joked about it being 'unhealthy' amounts." (The words I had used were "an unholy amount" of beef.) In response he had gone to the grocery store while I was at work, bought a grocery cart's worth of lettuce heads, and broken into my apartment the same way he had last time, in order to fill my
    via u/Audinot
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    refrigerator with lettuce. He then proceeded to leave a note on the fridge that said "THANKS, THERE IS HEADS IN THE FRIDGE," and left. Kevin's dorm lease was immediately terminated and he was sent back home to live with his parents instead. My neighbours would occasionally knock on my door for the rest of the year whenever they'd burned or ruined their dinner and ask me
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    for cooking help, and at the end of the year they bought me a box of taco shells as a joke to thank me for my dinner knowledge.
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    Gitdupapsootlass Oh my god Imao at "THANKS, THERE IS HEADS IN THE FRIDGE"
    via u/Gitdupapsootlass
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    RedCaio I feel kinda bad for Kevin. He sounds like he's really struggling to function in life and now he's kicked out. I hope he finds the support he needs and is able to get some Ws
    via u/RedCaio
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    mere_iguana aw, his heart was in the right place. It's just that his brain was not.
    via u/mere_iguana
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    Gravity Kevins are the human equivalent of ginger cats. They all share one brain cell and clearly neither of those times were his turn.
    via u/D******Gravity
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    arcieride Aww poor Kevin. I hope he's a jolly taco cook now. Thanks for sharing
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    ScumBunny He broke down your door TWICE! over tacos. That's hilarious. I hope he turned out ok.
    via u/ScumBunny
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    lamlikethisonly Okay that was both hilarious and dumb, and a bit scary too! Legend created.
    via u/lamlikethisonly

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tacos food eating college door student students taco dorm dorms stories-about-kevin kevin
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