Neglectful Mother Ignores Her Crying Baby While Husband is in the Shower, He Sparks Marital Feud When He Sees Her on Her iPad Instead of Helping

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 5, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

There's nothing worse than listening to a crying baby, and I could understand for new parents how unaccustomed they are to dealing with it. But when your child is crying, you have an obvious obligation to help. Obstinately refusing while you can hear your child is no excuse for parenting. That's exactly what this Reddit thread is about. 

In this story, the original poster (OP) is a married man with some children. His kids are young, meaning there's a lot more responsibility at play here. Now, he sees that his wife is right outside the kid's bedroom, so he sees no issue whatsoever with taking a shower. He comes out to his son screaming and crying, and finds his son has gotten his very first bloody nose. After scolding his wife, she disregards his sentiments, and continues scrolling on her iPad. Now, whose side are you on?

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  • 01
    • r/AITAH 1 day ago Independent Fox4439 I took a shower at midnight while my wife was watching TV. Who's the AH?
    via u/Independent Fox4439
  • 02
    My wife was sitting in the recliner watching her iPad right outride the kids bedrooms. I figure I'm in the clear to take a long shower. When I turn the shower off I hear my 3 year old crying and screaming for daddy. I hurry.
    via u/Independent Fox4439
  • 03
    As I'm going through the family room, I look at my wife (sitting watching her iPad) and say, "You couldn't calm him down?" She says, "No, I tried three times."
    via u/Independent Fox4439
  • 04
    I go into his room and pick him up. He immediately stops crying and starts trying to catch his breath. I feel what I thought were tears dripping down my shoulder. I think: "poor guy has been so upset for so long; long enough for my wife to come in three times."
    via u/Independent Fox4439
  • 05
    I lay him in bed and start tucking him in. He says, I have a mess. I figure tears and snot. I grab wipes and tissue, and turn the flashlight on my phone on.
    via u/Independent Fox4439
  • 06
    That's when I realized he was covered in blood. His first bloody nose, and it was bad: all over his face, arms, clothes, stuffy, blanket - and I'm covered. Those were not tears dripping down my shoulder.
    via u/Independent Fox4439
  • 07
    I get him cleaned up, and asked my wife to shout the bloody items while I get him cleaned up. I'm tucking him in and I ask why he didn't let mommy help. He said, "Mommy didn't check on me. Somebody never checked on me."
    via u/Independent Fox4439
  • 08
    Now my wife is at me for me expecting her to help. I'm at her for not taking care of our son while I'm in the shower and she's watching her iPad, and I'm that she's expected her to help. So, who's the AH?? |
    via u/Independent Fox4439
  • 09
    the_poly_poet ⚫1d ago • NTA. The biggest issue for me is the lying. At the very least she could have been honest that she didn't go in. But it's also profoundly up to think that she didn't want to check on him.
    via u/the_poly_poet
  • 10
    She's treating the idea of checking on her kid the same way a part-time cashier would treat having to mop a floor when it was (supposedly) their co- worker's "turn" to do it.
    via u/the_poly_poet
  • 11
    It isn't a job she gets to clock in and out of; she has to be present and show up at all times. And if you were in the shower and couldn't hear them crying, then it was definitely her chance to act.
    via u/the_poly_poet
  • 12
    Turmeric Ping • 1d ago • NTA. Your wife is TA. You are both parents. Even if she thought you should be checking on him, when you didn't, she should have gone and checked. She should have wanted to. I can't imagine sitting and watching a movie while my child cried
    via u/Turmeric Ping
  • 13
    because that was not my problem. And the fact that she lies tells you she knows she should be ashamed of her behaviour. And she's right. What she did was borderline abusive.
    via u/Turmeric Ping
  • 14
    I... 1d ago Edited 8h ago • Your wife is undoubtedly, indisputably, undeniably, unmistakably the this situation. in You are undoubtedly, indisputably, undeniably, unmistakably NTA in this situation (and a great dad).
    via u/I
  • 15
    The fact that your kid called. for you makes me wonder about the level of neglect your child must be feeling from your wife, and her lying to you makes me wonder what else is happening that you're taking at face value but is hiding information you need.
    via u/I
  • 16
    But given you chose this partner to raise a child with...are these previously intermittent tendencies becoming more frequent and/or obvious or does it. feel like she is dissociating from her life? There may be a medical angle to consider. Best of luck.
    via u/I
  • 17
    AnyBioMedGeek • 1d ago. NTA. I cannot imagine ignoring a screaming child and screaming cries of bloody nose fear are very very different from i dont wanna go to bed yes i want some attention cries. Any decent mother immediately knows the difference.
    via u/AnyBioMedGeek
  • 18
    . user_4250 1d ago Nta your wife sounds like mother
    via u/user_4250
  • 19
    Third WigginKid • 1d ago. My babymama used to do like that back when we were still living together. Ultimately, she abandoned our kid when he was two. Sooooo....big flag, based on my experience. red
    via u/Third WigginKid
  • 20
    HelloJunebug • 1d ago. NTA. I don't understand why your wife thought attending to both your kid wasn't her job while you weren't available. That doesn't make sense to me. UPDATEME
    via u/HelloJunebug

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