22-year-old refuses to cater to 18-year-old stepbrother’s allergies for his birthday dinner, father and stepmom get mad at him, but he won’t change his restaurant choice

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 4, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. When you plan your favorite restaurant for your birthday dinner, you would hope it wouldn't turn into some family drama. These days everyone is intolerant with this or that, they refuse to eat bread, or mushrooms, garlic, meat, or gluten. Everyone who's anyone these days has a dietary restriction, allergy, or just preference that omits most of the food groups. It can become impossible to try and accommodate everyone to the point that you may not want to. Depending on where you live, there could be more restaurants that cater to dietary restrictions, but that isn't always the case. Growing up in California, every restaurant had it's fair share of vegan options, gluten free, or whatever else someone wants. Those beach hippies are pretty particular about what they eat, almost to a harmful level. 
 

In the story below, the protagonist is a guy who just wants a simple family dinner at his favorite restaurant for his birthday. Read the full story below. 

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  • 01

    AITA for picking a restaurant for my birthday dinner that "did not meet the needs and requirements" of my dad's wife and her son?

    Cheezburger Image 10538282240
    via studioroman / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My dad got married to Kathleen when I (22m) was 15. Kathleen has two kids. A daughter I never met. I think she's in her late 20s or early 30s. And then she has a son Benjamin (18m).
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  • 03
    Benjamin is allergic to peanuts and shellfish. On top of that him and Kathleen are very picky eaters. His diet when I lived there consisted of
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  • 04
    pizza, fries and burgers and beef and cheese tacos. He didn't eat fruits or vegetables. He didn't eat any meat except for beef. He'd eat
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  • 05
    chocolate and ice cream and stuff though. And he was SO bad at checking labels and he had a few allergic reactions while we lived
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  • 06
    together. One time he had to be rushed to the hospital and spent a week in because he had such a bad reaction.
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  • 07
    Kathleen's super picky too. I can't remember all the stuff she wouldn't eat but it included any kind of fish, any kind of potato, rice, pasta, bread and stuff like that.
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  • 08
    This left us in a really weird position when my dad wanted to order takeout or take us out to eat. We had a couple of fast food places where Kathleen ordered
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  • 09
    salad and Benjamin ordered pizza and burgers usually. The food was never great but could've been worse. I think the part that sucked
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  • 10
    was every time we ordered out for my birthday or went out for my birthday it was one of the two places we had. Even a Taco place
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  • 11
    was out unless they'd remove all veggies and extras except for the meat and cheese. And some places still put "gross sh "to quote Benjamin on them when they did
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  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10538279424
    via AleksandarNakic from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    seemingly comply. Anytime still they want to do a family meal out they expect us all to go to their chosen fast food places that work for Benjamin and Kathleen and I'm
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  • 14
    tired of dealing with them (they're insufferable about how others eat too) so I never go.
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  • 15
    A few weeks ago I had a birthday dinner with my girlfriend and some family and friends. Dad wanted to come and he expected Kathleen and Benjamin to be invited too. I
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  • 16
    told him that was okay if they'd eat where I had chosen. I got an email from Kathleen and calls from dad where I was told my restaurant of
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  • 17
    choice did not meet the needs and requirements of Benjamin and Kathleen and would me and the rest of the guests travel out of state
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  • 18
    for a dinner for my birthday so we could go to one of Benjamin and Kathleen's choices.
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  • 19
    My answer was no and I told dad he could still come but I was not changing where I have MY birthday dinner. Kathleen sent another email
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  • 20
    asking why I was being so hostile like her daughter and I should care about my family's health and interests.
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  • 21
    Dad and Kathleen were more upset to learn some of dad's side flew out to join us for dinner when they typically won't accept plans from
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  • 22
    Happy Birthday
    via Swagath Mohan from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    them to eat out. So now I'm facing more of their anger for my choice of restaurant. AITA?
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  • 24
    cachalker Wait a minute...her own daughter is so fed up with the dietary nightmare that is her
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  • 25
    mother and brother that stepmom considers her hostile?
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  • 26
    No, NTA. Accommodating for the peanut and shellfish allergy would would be a reasonable ask. Demanding that you limit your choices to
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  • 27
    two mediocre restaurants on your birthday to accommodate the stepmother and stepbrother's dietary dysfunction is absurd.
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  • 28
    Leveling up that demand to you must not only give up your preferred choice to travel to another state in order to accommodate their dietary demands is ridiculously entitled.
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