'My sister’s room is double the size of mine': Stubborn parents refuse to let 23-year-old daughter swap bedrooms with younger sister who's away for college across country, older daughter claims parents always show favoritism towards 21-year-old sister

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 8, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Is it possible for both sides to be in the right and the wrong? Just this strange middle ground of valid points and counter-arguments…

We all know sisters love to fight, and generally say no just for the sake of it. They didn't even know the handbag existed, but now that their sister wants it, suddenly it's the apple of the other sister's eye. Makes sense, right? We want what we can't have, but we want it even more if our sister has it…I mean, it's just the initial fundamentals of sibling psychology. Which normally follows after the who's the favorite child debate. 

This sister is feeling neglected after their parents refuse to let her swap rooms with her younger sister while she's away at college. However, she is the sibling who will be spending the majority of the time at home, so surely she should be able to move into the spacious, more privately-positioned room for the time being? 

Well… her mother isn't willing to listen to her nagging much longer, and her father is just following suit. Is this situation dripped in 'favoritism' energy, or is this older sister using her entitlement as an attempt to move everyone and everything around to benefit herself?

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  • This story makes me feel forever indebted to the person who decided to bless me with a brother, and avoid the constant competitive tug-of-war that comes with a close age gap between sisters. 

    However, I do think this will all blow over as long as the older sister feels heard and validated by her parents, to understand that this may not be about picking favorites but rather about maintaining peace in the house. 

  • 01
    Mother and daughter sitting on a bed with arms crossed and an awkward tension between the duo
    via kzenon2

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for asking parents to force sister to give me her room

    I am 23, a year out of college, and the six months I have lived at home with my parents because I lucked into a great job in our town. My younger sister is 21 and has two years left of university across the country.
    via Strict-Pickle4644
  • 03
    My bedroom is very small, and there is not room for anything beside a full sized bed and a dresser in front of it. My sister's room, while still relatively
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  • 04
    small, is double the size of mine and has much higher ceilings, and the way it is shaped just makes it much easier to arrange and move around in.
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  • 05
    Additionally, the location of her room in relation to our parents room affords her much more privacy. Mine is directly across from theirs, and they
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  • 06
    don't have a door, just a sliding wood panel that doesn't shut all the way, so it can feel awkward and claustrophobic. Especially since our
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  • 07
    cat likes to sleep with me, so I can never shut my door. My sister spends the majority of her time across the country, even during the summer. She is home about 7
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  • 08
    weeks out of the year, so I thought it was reasonable to ask her and my parents if we could swap. I understand the attachment she has to
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  • 09
    her space and since I only plan on being here for another year and a half, I proposed that I would use it for that time and we could switch back when I leave. I wouldn't change any
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  • 10
    of the furniture or the decorations (they're beautiful, my mom put a lot of time into the room) I just asked that we switch out all of our things for that time period.
    via Strict-Pickle4644
  • 11
    When I initially brought it up a few months ago, she was open to it, but then abruptly changed her mind and refuses. I love her to d th, but
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  • 12
    anytime I bring it up, she shuts down and refuses to have a conversation about it. So I asked my parents to force the issue.
    via Strict-Pickle4644
  • 13
    My dad is on my side, but my mom doesn't want to hear it. She gets mad anytime I have brought it up, so a discussion can't even be had. She
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  • 14
    thinks I'm being ridiculous, and refuses to even acknowledge my points, and my dad has now. backtracked.
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  • 15
    Teenage girl sitting and sulking in her bedroom
    via gettyimages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    I brought it up the other night - in a very even keeled fashion and everyone, including him, got mad at me for "starting something at a bad time," and bringing it up when my sister just has a few weeks to spent
    via Strict-Pickle4644
  • 17
    with us. BUT thats my point - she is NEVER here except to visit, never for longer than a month. I have a full time, professional job and live with them.
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  • 18
    My family is very tight knit. My parents want me to stay as long as possible with them. I would move out but I live in a VERY expensive city. I feel like I'm being ignored and like there is very obviously a favorite child
    via Strict-Pickle4644
  • 19
    They refuse to do anything, and my mom justifies it by using my sisters feelings, which hurts mine, because she doesn't even acknowledge that there is any validity to my feelings Genuinely, it makes me sad to think about, especially since they say they
    via Strict-Pickle4644
  • 20
    want me to be comfortable and at home here as an adult. Am I the ah_le? Would I be the a hole if I tried to bring it up again? What to do?
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  • 21
    A big bedroom with lots of natural light and positive energy
    via gettysignature

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 22
    Gigi-lily You think there's a favourite child because your mother won't boot your sister out of her bedroom.
    via Gigi-lily
  • 23
    MaineRonin13 YTA If you want privacy? Move out. You're an adult. Act like it.
    via MaineRonin13
  • 24
    Ariask YTA You're way too old to be crying to mommy and daddy about wanting the bigger room.
    via AriasK
  • 25
    No_Control8031 NAH. I think on a purely practical level you make a very good point. But technically your sister hasn't left home properly and should be entitled to have her old space retained. Nobody has behaved improperly here. Nothing approaching AH level.
    via No_Control8031
  • 26
    BreqsCousin It's up to your parents to decide this. It's their house. I agree that it makes sense for a person who lives there full time to have more space.
    via BreqsCousin
  • 27
    Original-Dragonfly78 NTA. Start looking for an apartment. When they ask why you're moving out. Explain that you are moving to a place where you have more room. Don't let them guilt trip you into staying.
    via Original-Dragonful78
  • 28
    Eleven PastEleven YTA. You don't own the house, you're not paying to live there, and you've repeatedly been told "no". Either get over it or get your own place.
    via ElevenPastEleven

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swapping refuse drama bigger students mother siblings working askreddit begging memebase family expensive bedroom sister move out Reddit college parents Father
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