Woman’s Life at Risk if Pregnant Again, But Her Husband Refuses to Get Snipped, Causing Potential Divorce

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 7, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Health is above all things; without your health, one doesn't have much. We come to appreciate it when we're sick, or when we get an injury, but it's easy to take for granted. For women, our health is especially important in pregnancy and when carrying a child. 

In this Reddit story, it surrounds a woman and her husband. The woman already has several children, and her doctor told her that if she has anymore, she could risk losing her life. All her children were birthed via c-section, and she tells of her immense pain and struggles with her physical body. Upon telling her husband, he says to her that he's not willing to get a vasectomy. She urges him to reconsider, due to the physical sufferings she's gone through, and how she can't bear the thought of leaving her kids motherless, but he puts his foot down. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 12 hr. ago trixiiiii111 AITA for wanting to leave my husband because he won't get a vasectomy, even though another pregnancy could kill me?
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 02
    Alright, here goes. I'm feeling really conflicted and would love some outside perspective. My husband and I have three kids together, all born via C-section. It's been a lot on my body, and after our third, my doctor advised me against having another pregnancy. The risks are just too
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 03
    high-there's a very real possibility I could die if I try to carry a fourth child. The doctor mentioned that I could get my tubes tied, but after doing some research, I found out that it's a much more invasive procedure with longer recovery and greater risks compared to a vasectomy.
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 04
    So, I brought up the idea of my husband getting a vasectomy. It's a much simpler procedure, far less risky, and honestly, we're done having kids anyway. I've already been through three C- sections, endured the side effects of birth control, and put my body through the wringer. I've carried
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 05
    our children, gone through labour, and dealt with all the postpartum changes-physically and emotionally.
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 06
    But here's the kicker: he flat out refuses. He says he's concerned about the pain (even though it's a quick recovery compared to what I've been through) and that he doesn't want to "lose his fertility." I've explained that we're not having any more kids, and this isn't about fertility anymore—it's
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 07
    about safety, my safety. I'm genuinely scared of getting pregnant again and leaving my children motherless.
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 08
    I've tried to make him understand that while I've sacrificed my body multiple times, he's not even willing to take this one step for us, for our family. And his refusal makes me feel like he's prioritizing his comfort and fears over my health and our future together.
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 09
    I'm at the point where I'm starting to resent him. I love him, but this whole situation is making me question everything. I can't help but feel like I've given so much, and his refusal feels like a betrayal. I'm seriously considering leaving because I can't live with someone who won't support me in something so crucial, especially when my life is on the line.
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 10
    AITA for feeling like this? Would leaving him over this make me unreasonable?
    via u/trixiiiii111
  • 11
    CheekyyChickk • 10h ago That also means you can choose never to have with him again, right? nta
    via u/CheekyyChickk
  • 12
    C... 9h ago Edited 9h ago • He doesn't see this as a final marriage. - PS I was happier and emotionally safer as a child of divorce than trying to survive my parents marriage.
    via u/C
  • 13
    -The-New-Shm... 11h ago • • You see your marriage as end game. He's looking past your marriage. Is you and him are done having kids why else would he care about fertility
    via u/-The-New-Shm...
  • 14
    Traditional Sw... • 11h ago • NTA, I'd leave him and get a bilateral tubal ligation. Best choice I ever made, outpatient surgery and quick recovery. This would be for your benefit anyway to save yourself from any future pregnancies even if u do split.
    via u/Traditional Sw
  • 15
    Unalimonagrio • 11h ago. As a doctor I will say you should have had a ligation at your last c-section, that way it would have been easier and you wouldn't have to go back into surgery. Your husband is a jerk who is not willing to go through a little
    via u/Unalimonagrio
  • 16
    outpatient surgery, I don't think this will end well, for your own well being you should not have until he has surgery or you get divorced, there is no middle ground, your children could be orphaned if something goes wrong in a 4th pregnancy.
    via u/Unalimonagrio
  • 17
    BackgroundGa... •10h ago. After three C sections I wouldn't stay with a guy who's unwilling to have a vasectomy because of his fertility. Who exactly is he intending to impregnate next? I should add, I had three kids and my husband
    via u/BackgroundGa
  • 18
    ran to the hospital to get a vasectomy. It was a very simple day surgery and he went to work the next day.
    via u/BackgroundGa
  • 19
    Pickles Mcpickle ⚫9h ago • He seems not concerned that you could die if you get pregnant again. Does he have like a large life insurance on you or something?
    via u/Pickles Mcpickle
  • 20
    But yeah, I'm sure that hurts. You can't make him. It's his body his choice. And your body has been through so much. The fact that he says fertility, he seems like he sees you as a first wife. He wants to be able to offer things to others. Otherwise fertility
    via u/Pickles Mcpickle
  • 21
    others. Otherwise fertility wouldn't be brought up.
    via u/Pickles Mcpickle

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