Man Demands That His Girlfriend Turn Down Her Dream Job Because She'd Be ‘Traveling Too Much’, Instead She Puts Her Career First, Pursuing a Once-in-a-Lifetime Job Opportunity

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 8, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Being a working woman is complicated. While we only make 80% of what a man makes for doing the same job, it seems like as a female in any working environment, you have to work 10x harder to reach the same milestones. But when you're a working woman who's also juggling the complications of the dating world, you're stuck in a loop of complicated decisions that will always leave you asking yourself this one question…

Do you want a career or a man?

Somehow, it seems like every woman is faced with this weird ultimatum. Although we naturally want a love life alongside our career, there's inevitably going to be a fork in the road where a wise woman must choose. The career woman in our next story was faced with a conundrum after landing her dream job. 

Although she expected to be greeted with champagne showers and 'congratulations' balloons, her long-term boyfriend was not so thrilled about this big career move. Instead of celebration, he gave her an ultimatum. Scroll onward to read how this woman put her career first, pursuing a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity after her boyfriend criticized her employment prospects.

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    He says I should turn it down to focus on "us"
    via Tempura - Getty Images Signature via Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for not wanting to give up my dream job just because my boyfriend can't handle it?
    via hot_fernanda
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    I recently got my dream job offer, something I've been working towards for years. It requires me to travel a lot, sometimes for weeks at a time, but it's exactly what I've
    via hot_fernanda
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    always wanted. My boyfriend, however, isn't happy about it. He says that me being gone so often will ruin our relationship and that I should turn it down to focus on "us."
    via hot_fernanda
  • 05
    We've been together for three years, and I love him, but this is a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity. When I told him I was going to take the job, he got really upset and said if I cared about our
    via hot_fernanda
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    future, I wouldn't be making this choice. Now he's giving me the cold shoulder, and I feel torn between my career and my relationship. My friends are divided-some
    via hot_fernanda
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    say I should follow my dreams, others say relationships require sacrifices. I'm struggling with guilt, but also don't want to give up something so important to me. Am I the for choosing my dream job over my boyfriend?
    via hot_fernanda
  • 08
    Honduran NTA. If you don't, you'll resent him and doom the relationship. Better to doom the relationship anyway but in your own terms. Congrats on the new job.
    via Honduran
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    89765432112235 Totally agree with this take. You will resent it. A great partner would be excited for you, encourage you, and figure out how to make it work.
    via 89765432112235
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    You can still work on your relationship in a new job. It might be more difficult, but it can happen. Your partner should understand and work with you on this, not fight you on it
    via 89765432112235
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    TEST123455653453 You're not the Pursuing your dream job is important, and a supportive partner should encourage your growth. If he can't accept that, it's a red flag for your relationship. Choose what's best for you!
    via TEST123455653453
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    buyingacaruser It's hard. She doesn't take the job, she'll resent him, relationship ends. She takes the job, relationship seems like it's going to still end. Might as well at least get the job you want.
    via buyingacaruser
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    If you're talking about how this is handled with gender differences on here I'm not even going to touch that; people get very defensive. In her shoes I would take the job. Marriage is different, but they're not married
    via buyingacaruser
  • 14
    Hopeful Asparagus 31 This is true, but this person is just getting started with there career and should have a chance to see if it really is what they want. The boyfriend is insecure and is afraid she will find someone else in her travels, and with the way he is acting it will be a self fullfilling prophecy.
    via Hopeful_Asparagus_31
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    Bandidorito I think it depends on the situation, particularly on how many responsibilities both parties have towards each other, like chores, bills, kids, etc.
    via Bandidorito
  • 16
    Hamster Cake You're not the at all, and neither is your boyfriend entirely. Not everyone wants a a relationship where their partner is gone all the time and it's completely valid for him to be sad about it. And
    via Hamster_Cake
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    it's also valid for you to not want to give up on your dream job. This is really hard, because if neither one of you is willing to bend, then you're just no longer compatible sadly. You're not the
    via Hamster_Cake
  • 18
    Your boyfriend shouldn't be lumping you as not caring just because you don't want to give up your dream job. You could easily also say he doesn't care about you because he won't sacrifice
    via Hamster_Cake
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    for you and let you achieve your dreams. Is there any way he can travel with you? No one is wrong here it's just a sad situation and you guys may not longer be compatible. NTA.
    via Hamster_Cake
  • 20
    helpful-treefrog NTA! Find yourself someone who will support your dreams and build you up, not try to guilt you into being what he wants. Lifestyle incompatibility is a perfectly valid reason to end a relationship, even though it can really
    via helpful-treefrog

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