'This pattern continued for the entire semester': College student refuses to visit professor during office hours, shows up at 5 AM and on weekends instead

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Oct 9, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

Oh brother, it's amazing this guy ever made it into college. It's a surprise he even graduated high school! 

College freshmen are notoriously clueless at times. They're fresh out of high school, and chances are they've been letting their parents handle their lives until very recently. Suddenly, they go to college and have to wake themselves up for class, figure out how to cook their own meals, and make sure they study and do their homework, even without their parents to remind them of it. Many of these teens just aren't used to the real world yet. They don't quite understand everything, and professors have to be super patient as they guide them towards success. 

However, this guy is especially dumb, as u/VenusSmurf told in their story about a student from their past. As a college professor, they've had all types of students, from the brightest to the dimmest. But this guy really takes the cake, because he seemingly can't understand a very simple instruction from the professor's syllabus. 

Up next, check out this boss who learned to be careful what you ask for, with an employee saying they'd "Take notes of EVERYTHING you say in the meeting? Okay."

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    Cheezburger Image 10413611520
    via Yunus Tuğ on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    "Okay, okay" Someone suggested this sub in response to a comment I made about a past student. I've been teaching college courses for many moons now. I've had brilliant students. I've had mediocre students. I've had students who made me fear for the gene pool, including one girl who couldn't accept that whales were real. This Kevin, though,
    via u/VenusSmurf
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    was possibly the dumbest individual I have ever met, the type who wouldn't remember to breathe without external prompting. Shortly after the term started, Kevin approached before the start of a class to complain that he'd gone to my office, and I wasn't there. Of course I wasn't, because he hadn't gone during my office hours, which were posted in the hard copy of the
    via u/VenusSmurf
  • 04
    syllabus, on the course site, and in a "so large my blind. grandmother could read this, and she's dead" font on my office door. I reminded him of my office days and hours and where they were posted. He just nodded and said, "Okay, okay" in what really did seem like acknowledgment. The next week, he again accosted me, complaining that he'd gone to my office, and I wasn't there. I went over my
    via u/VenusSmurf
  • 05
    office hours again, now wondering if he was a few squirrels short of a tree. At the end, he nodded sagely, saying, "Okay, okay." It was not, in fact, okay, okay. This pattern continued for the entire semester. He'd constantly complain that I "wasn't there". He was going to my office so late in the evenings that security was called. He was going to my office on Saturdays and Sundays and at
    via u/VenusSmurf
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    five in the morning. He'd pound on my office door and call my name, leaving only when others in the building would tell him to get out. He'd then accuse me the next day, every attempt at explanation always ending with that infernal "Okay, okay" and still no light on upstairs. It took several weeks, but I finally figured out why this was so difficult for him. I then had to explain to a grown man that
    via u/VenusSmurf
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    teachers don't actually live in their offices. That he was genuinely floored by this still keeps me up at night. And he gets worse. One day, I noticed someone stealing the tires from a car in the parking lot. I called security--it was a rural area, and the police were both in a different town and not very responsive--not knowing that this brilliant Kevin was now part of the security team. He biked
    via u/VenusSmurf
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    over, and I pointed him in the thief's direction. They conversed. After a moment, the thief tossed the tires in his truck and drove away, all while the Kevin happily waved him off. Kevin then informed me that it was all fine, because the thief had permission. I just blinked at him for a moment, briefly wondered if his parents were cousins, and asked how he knew the thief hadn't been lying. Did
    via u/VenusSmurf
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    he get a name for the car's owner? Did he call that person or verify the story in any way? Did he get ID? Kevin's face fell, because of course he hadn't. He then hesitantly asked if he should bike after the thief, who was long gone by then, and I wouldn't have wanted someone this abysmally stupid to go after a criminal anyway. I called the real police
    via u/VenusSmurf
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    (who did precisely nothing, but the thief was caught later, stealing other tires). Kevin was always happy to see me as he biked around in his security uniform. He was nice enough, but I never stopped hoping he wouldn't have children.
    via u/VenusSmurf
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    lamlikethisonly This is a Kevin for sure. One would imagine he was a ghost haunting your office, the way he simply couldn't understand printed hours! I do hope he's no longer a security person. Also "few squirrels short of a tree" is hilarious :D:D
    via u/VenusSmurf
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    Dramatic-Selec... Please op how did you got him to believe you did not live in that office I saw you showing there was no bed
    via u/Dramatic-Selection20
  • 13
    rosie2rocknroll Thank you for this wonderful story. I was having a terrible day and now I can manage a laugh!
    via u/rosie2rocknroll
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    gene_randall Just hope some "equally qualified" civil service head doesn't decide, based on his experience as a security guard, that he'd make a great cop and hire him. It's happened before!
    via u/gene_randall
  • 15
    rosuav The thief would have gone off thinking "that actually worked??!?"
    via u/rosuav
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    SkylerAltair Did he also get bad grades, or was he one of those people who's book-smart (or at leastbook-acceptable) yet life- stupid?
    via u/SkylerAltair
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    VenusSmurf OP Nope. I can't remember what grade he earned, but his work was exactly what one would expect.
    via u/VenusSmurf

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