Aunt cares for her 9 and 14-year-old nephews for 2 years after her sister passes, brother-in-law kicks her out after she asked the oldest to make lunch once: 'I packed my things and left quietly'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Oct 8, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

It's sad to realize that the most selfless, hardworking, and giving people rarely get credit for their contributions to others. That might, in part, be because they're doing things out of the kindness of their hearts instead of for praise and status, but I think that's letting off the benefactors of their services too easy. They don't get credit because people often take the hard, selfless workers in their lives for granted. Think of that person in the office who always picks up the slack for their coworkers who can barely do their job correctly. Or consider the parent volunteers at your child's school doing unpaid labor for the good of all the kids in the community. There are probably helpers in your family that need to be thanked, and the woman this story follows is one of them. After her sister passed away, she took care of her nephews for two years, but after one so-called mistake, her services were dismissed by their father. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10414000128
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for leaving after my in-law asked me to move out because I didn't cook lunch one time?
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  • 03
    Two years ago, my sister passed away, leaving behind two boys, David (12) and Peter (7). My brother-in-law was struggling to juggle everything, and he was looking to hire a maid to help care for the kids. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else raising them when they're my blood, so I offered to step in.
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  • 04
    For two years, I've been taking care of them as if they were my own. Every day, I'd wake up early, make their breakfast, clean the house, do the dishes, wash their clothes, feed and care for the 50 chickens on the property, all while managing my own studies. I did it all without a complaint. I wanted to, because I loved them and wanted to keep my sister's memory alive through them.
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  • 05
    One Sunday, after two years of doing everything without a single mistake, I went out for a walk. I asked David (now 14) to prepare lunch, which was a simple meal. He said he could manage, and I trusted him. It was the one day my brother-in-law was off from work, so I thought maybe he could help too.
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  • 06
    A few hours later, I got a call from my in-law, and to my shock, he told me to start looking for a new place because, in his words, I wasn't helping enough. All because I asked David to handle one meal, one time, in two years. I was crushed. I thought I had done everything right, but apparently, that one day was enough for him to decide I wasn't good enough.
    via u/Few-Commercial-9706
  • 07
    I didn't argue or fight back. I packed my things and left quietly. Now, my in-law is angry that I left without a word. AITA for leaving after everything I did, just because I didn't cook lunch one time?
    via u/Few-Commercial-9706
  • 08
    Lyzab77 ΝΤΑ Your BIL is not a good person and doesn't raise correctly his children: he should show respect for someone sacrified their own life for 2 years, while that person could have had fun in parallel with studies. Are you sure BIL didn't treat your sister that way? Thinking she was just some sort of slave in the house? I hope children will remember what you did for them and they'll be more respectful than their father. If you can, keep in touch with them (e-mail)
    via u/Lyzab77
  • 09
    Ali2G NTA. You gave so much, his reaction is completely unreasonable.
    via u/Ali2G
  • 10
    themilldome It's so disheartening when someone doesn't recognize true dedication. You deserve respect, not dismissal. Hopefully, the kids appreciate you more than their dad does.
    via u/themilldome
  • 11
    Shadow4summer Well, BIL is about to find out how hard finding good child care is and how expensive. NTA. You helped raise his children (and you were the domestic help) for two years. Let him do it on his own, even when he asks you to come back, because you know he will.
    via u/Shadow4summer
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    Fractionofa Fraction I always find myself doubting these stories because I can't fathom how the antagonist can possibly be that stupid. Deep down I guess I know people can be, but
    via u/FractionofaFraction
  • 13
    DaniCapsFan Your former BIL is pretty the chores at the house, including caring for your nephews, what has he been doing? And the ONE time you asked a 14-year-old boy to make lunch, your former BIL says leave? Something doesn't add up here. ungrateful. If you've been doing all But hey, he told you to leave, so you did. Let BIL handle the house chores, child care, and everything else you did. And why should you say anything? NTA
    via u/DaniCapsFan
  • 14
    Spicy-Noodle Maybe BIL immediately regretted telling her to leave, and assumed she wouldn't actually do it and would instead fight with him to stay. An empty threat to get her to "be perfect" and exert his control, not really a command to leave. Why on Earth this lunch thing set him off so much doesn't seem to make sense. Maybe he's insecure about his own lack of care for his own children. Or maybe, it's way worse, and the concept of his son making lunch is something his disagrees with in itself
    via u/_Spicy-Noodle
  • 15
    HMS_Sunlight 100% he regretted it. It was a bluff, and OP was supposed to beg on their knees and grovel for forgiveness. Of course that didn't happen and now he has to actually be a father, possibly for the first time in his life. The poor kid's gonna need therapy though. He'll think OP left because he did a bad job making lunch.
    via u/HMS_Sunlight
  • 16
    Fancy_Avocado7497 Aged 14 and this was considered a burden? His father seemed to have unrealistic ideas or perhaps this father was spoilt? Is this why he wanted to hire a maid - general household tasks were too great for father and son? I suspect that BIL has a replacement maid found. He isn't the kind of fella to shift for himself if he left you clean and cook for 2 years. The next free house cleaner (who will also horizontal jog) is going to be there any day. You had no power to argue. Go ahea
    via u/Fancy_Avocado7497
  • 17
    arnott NTA. Time to stop being a doormat. Go live your life, the kids are grown up now.
    via u/arnott
  • 18
    HiSexy Babex NTA: It is obvious that your in-laws do not grasp the idea of respect and boundaries. They do not have the authority to expel you for failing to prepare even one lunch. Perhaps get takeaway instead of the drama the next time.
    via u/HiSexyBabex
  • 19
    SingleAlfredoFemale - NTA. For anyone who asks why you left or accuses you of leaving (including BIL), correct them. Every. Time. "He (you) kicked me out because I asked 14yo to make lunch one day." Simple. Direct. True. Enjoy your newfound freedom.
    via u/SingleAlfredoFemale

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nephews family drama cleaning cooking kid kids lunch aunt chores in laws family sister reddit thread Reddit nephew brother in law children
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