'You're just leaving your child to fend for herself': Unwitting parent learns neighbor has been driving her 10-year-old to school for 6 months, chews her out for undermining her parenting

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    AITA for yelling at my neighbor for secretly driving my daughter to school?
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    My (37F) 10-year-old daughter has been walking to school on her own for a couple of years. She knows the route, she's always on time, and she's never had any issues. We live in a relatively safe area and the school is a 15 minute walk from our home, with ample sidewalks and crosswalks.
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    Today, I found out that our neighbor has been driving her to school without my knowledge. I'm furious and went off on her after I found out. I feel like she's overstepping boundaries and undermining our parenting. My daughter told me she doesn't think it's a big deal and that it was just some free rides.
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    I'm still concerned about the neighbor's actions and find it concerning also that she apparently has been doing this for six months at the end of last school year also, and I told my husband (33M) we needed to set some serious boundaries. My husband thinks I overreacted and should apologize for shouting at her and that it's her business if she wants to give our daughter a ride anyway even though we've explained our reasoning in the past.
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    randothrowaway2024 9h ago • NTA First, your daughter needs to know she shouldn't accept rides from anyone that isn't you or dad. Second, how well do you know your neighbor? Like know know your neighbor? She shouldn't be offering rides anyway.
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    Third, how well does your husband know the neighbor to think you're overreacting? And it sounds like your husband needs a wake-up call. The majority of child abuse cases occur in the home or with someone the child feels comfortable with. Not saying your neighbor is like that, but I don't know the full story. Do whatever you need to. You child's safety comes first.
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    Marzipan_civil 7h ago. • Info: you say "she's always on time, and she's never had any issues". But apparently she didn't tell you that a neighbour was giving her a lift every day for six months? So how do you know there weren't any other issues that your daughter didn't mention?
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    Huilang_ . • 5h ago Edited 5h ago • I mean that's a bit of a wild take - that only parents are allowed to drive a child to school. Of course that is not the case - neighbours, friends, extended family are all fine. However, only people approved by parents can give rides to school, yes. The neighbour offering is very nice she should have of - course cleared it with the parents first though. Six months of giving rides without saying. anything is scary stuff.
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    ChemistryWeary7826 • 4h ago. Yeah but she doesn't know that and has been walking to school alone for a couple of years. The neighbour knows her well enough that she gives a Clearly the neighbour is more concerned about her safety thean her parent is, especially as parent still seems p ed she's been disobeyed rather than the safety issue.
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    • Unholy_mess169 4h ago • Yeah, No. 10 years old? That's young for that kind of walk alone. Op sounds more p ed someone else took on a parenting duty she couldn't be to bother with. YTA if you don't want her picking up rides drive her yourself. Or is forcing her to walk half the fun for you?
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    Beautifullntrepid373 • 7h ago • So many details missing. From the lack of detail, I'm imagining you actually do think you're the AH. You know, details like the neighbour has a kid in the same class. Or the neighbour is a teacher at the school. Or the neighbour is an 87 year old who is the local crossing guard. I feel like you're omitting details to make this sound worse than it is. Info please and thank you.
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    Odd... 6h ago Edited 22m ago • • • YTA. Simply because you yelled instead of talked. Do you know the whole situation? Did your daughter ask for a ride? Did the neighbor offer because her kid and yours are friends? I gave so many peers of my kids lifts to and from school because of rain or missed buses or they were the
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    last kid walking alone, one thing different I did do was talk to the parent after the fact and offer my number for emergencies. I know times have changed since then but I think we do not have the whole picture here. There are either other factors or your daughter does not know to never accept rides from non approved people, which is a huge deal. The fact that your daughter hid it makes me think she was scared to tell you. Why is that?
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    FairyCompetent • 8h ago • YTA. Your daughter clearly isn't comfortable walking and obviously didn't feel like she could approach you about it. I'm glad she has a safe adult to turn to.
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    culodecarla • 6h ago. So, what is your reasoning? You won't drive her, that much I gathered, so the neighbor will. Maybe it's just because i come from a close knit community of sorts, but it doesn't sound weird to me at all, a neighbor offering car rides to school, much more if they're also the parent of a student. Sure, they definitely should have told you so you would know where your daughter is and
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    with whom, but this is your neighbor, who I'll assume you know, so it's not even a stranger giving the ride. What's the difference between her going along a 5 minute car ride than walking alone for 15? That sounds much more dangerous in my opinion. Your daughter has been doing this for six months and you knew nothing about it? That does sound strange.
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    With the whole "undermining our parenting bit" it sounds like you're making her walk to "teach her a lesson" or something like that and she obviously doesn't like it, so she picked the easiest route. Tbh, i just think a lot of INFO is missing to give a judgement.
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    superkinks 6h ago • I think YTA for letting an 8 year old walk to school alone tbh. "Undermining our parenting" - what parenting? You're just leaving your child to fend for herself
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    Broad_Attention_3431 6h ago • • I can't imagine letting my elementary schooler walk by themselves to school. Let alone that this has been happening for years. It's dangerous. Like little girls get snatched all the time YTA.
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    ушна Admirable Form7786 6h ago • YTA.. your 10.. yes TEN year old has been walking to school for.. A COUPLE OF YEARS.. so what, since she was 7? And you aren't worried about the neighbour being alone with your daughter but that they are undermining you?? You need some therapy and a parenting class..

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