'I'm pretty sure my mom stole my grandma's identity': Granddaughter discovers a $20K check from her 81-year-old grandmas bank account made out to her mom, mom screams when she confronted her

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 16, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Back in the day, you had to be genuinely sneaky to be a scammer. There were no websites with people's credit card information available for any old schmuck to purchase. In the 20th century, you had to pick a pocket or snag a fat juicy wallet off the ground and make some magic by purchasing $1000 worth of Domino's gift cards. There's some level of skill that comes with good old-fashioned thievery that the crooks of today don't have. Today, anybody can be a scammer without even having to work for it. 

So many scammers are getting too cocky with their crimes. A granddaughter of an 81-year-old woman took to Reddit to seek advice after finding out her own mother stole $20K from her aging mother. This scammer wasn't even slick with it, telling her mom to ignore that the county is suing her for the $20K she stole and yelling at her daughter for questioning it.

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    Cheezburger Image 10429094656
    via Mariia Chalaya

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Pretty sure my grandma's identity was stolen by my mom. There's a $20,000 loan in her name. Mom screamed at me for warning grandma about it.
    via u/drrainedbattery
  • 03
    My grandma is 81 years old and she hasn't handled her own finances for at least 3 years now. It's my mom who pays the bills out of my grandma's account, but she doesn't have any sort of power of attorney or anything over her.
    via u/drrainedbattery
  • 04
    Grandma and I were talking last week and she said a guy came to her house a couple of days prior and gave her court paperwork. My mom told her it was a scam and to ignore it. On a hunch, I checked the county website and it really does look like she's being sued for a little over $20,000. I told her about it and she called my mom, who still told her it was a scam and she would "take care of it". I separately told my mom it looks like it's legitimate and she said it has to be some sort of mistake.
    via u/drrainedbattery
  • 05
    I ended up going over to grandma's house and looking at the actual documents. It was all done online and the money was sent to my grandma's bank. We ended up going to the bank together and they gave us printouts of the account activity. Plain as day you see the $20k be transferred in and 2 days later there's a check on the account, made out to my mom, for $20k.
    via u/drrainedbattery
  • 06
    My grandma has the $20,000 to pay them back. I got a call from my mom yesterday screaming at me about getting into my grandma's business and that she will deal with the lawsuit. I feel like she took the $20k and did who knows what with it. It looks like a payment was never made on the loan. I'm not sure if I can go to the police or her behalf or what.
    via u/drrainedbattery
  • 07
    GoddessOfBlueRidge I would definitely help Grandma file a police report. IT IS AGAINST THE LAW to take advantage of a venerable adult. Who gets Grandma's money when she passes? Are there other siblings to your Mom? What gives Mom authority to sign checks on Grandma's account? Is the account held jointly?
    via u/GoddessOfBlueRidge
  • 08
    SMTPA If Grandma won't file a police report, you can file an elder ab e report. Look on the website for your county or city government to start.
    via u/SMTPA
  • 09
    SoaringAcrosstheSky Yes, even if Grandma won't do it, you and still report it. Other option is mom full pays it all - penalties, interest, court fees, etc. Everything. And then get your mother off of everything
    via u/SoaringAcrosstheSky
  • 10
    tcrudisi I want to jump on the top comment. OP, this reeks so much. Your mom stole $20k from her mom. And then is trying to hide it. And what happens if your grandma doesn't go to court? She automatically loses.
    via u/tcrudisi
  • 11
    This will tank her credit and could have legal repercussions for your grandma. She needs to go to the police asap and file a report for fraud. And she MUST show up to court.
    via u/tcrudisi
  • 12
    Imagine she doesn't show up. Your mom would possibly use this whole scenario to get full control over grandmas finances. Mom has already demonstrated that she's willing to steal from her own mom. What do you think she'd do with full access?
    via u/tcrudisi
  • 13
    ALSO - IF SHE STOLE FROM HER OWN MOM, SHE WILL STEAL FROM YOU. Check your credit immediately. (I keep weekly tabs on mine via creditkarma but there's likely better ways out there.) Keep tabs on your credit. Your mom knows all the information she needs to take out credit in your name, too.
    via u/tcrudisi
  • 14
    Zealousideal_Fail946 Yes you can go to the police. Take your grandmother with you. Do it. Your mother will do anything and say anything to stay out of trouble. What she did was illegal and there are consequences.
    via u/Zealousideal_Fail94
  • 15
    SnortlePortal There has been good advice so far and evidence does point back to financial elder ab_e from your mom. The fact that she told your grandma to ignore a court document is incredibly unsound advice and a way for her to get in serious trouble, which your mom clearly doesn't care about. This makes me think your mom is trying to shift/ignore any repercussions for whatever she did.
    via u/SnortlePortal
  • 16
    One thing I really want to stress is to check your own accounts and loan balances because what frequently happens is that those who take from one family member often takes from multiple family members. She's your mom. She has access to your SSN. There is a nonzero chance she did this to you as well. I hate to say it but from what you have said, your mom is a thief, an elder ab er, and tbh a felon because what she did is a felony and can amount to jail time.
    via u/SnortlePortal
  • 17
    taphin33 Follow the other advice here but also don't have Grandma pay toward the debt - that will perhaps cause issues with getting it cleared as identity fraud. In cases of ID fraud if a family member doesn't want you to report it they either did it, or know who did. If your mom had a legitimate reason for the loan, she'd tell you instead of screaming at you.
    via u/taphin33
  • 18
    Opposite_Jeweler_953 True. Besides, she may need the money later when she needs help.
    via u/Opposite_Jeweler_953
  • 19
    Full_Ad_347 Who was the loan through? I would have grandma contact the loan company and ask them for the documented proof they have for the loan. Getting a 20k cash loan isn't an easy process.
    via u/Full_Ad_347
  • 20
    creatively inclined It is an easy process in the USA to get a loan. They literally send checks to your house. If you deposit the check then you've accepted the loan. Unfortunately it also makes it very easy to scam a family member that way.
    via u/creatively inclined

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family drama identity money problems grandma granddaughter reddit story stolen identity finances family grandparents reddit thread daughter Reddit mom money
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