Manipulative Step-mother Sends Her Grandchildren Surprise Birthday Gifts, Step-daughter Donates All of Them in Retaliation, Causing Family Unrest: ‘We’re supposed to be no contact’

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 20, 2024 2:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. In this day and age, going no contact with family members is more and more common. It doesn't matter if it's your mother, daughter, sister, brother, or father, if someone does or says something you don't like, it's common protocol to never speak to them again. It's a bit extreme, and not to mention dramatic, but of course everyone is entitled to their decisions. If you don't want someone in your life, then no one can force you. So what's the protocol with no contact? What are the boundaries? It's an unrequited act, which complicates how the other party wants to respond to it. I can imagine that if a family member tries to go no contact with me, it would be tempting to try to contact them and reason with them. This brings us to the Reddit thread. 

In this Reddit story, the original poster (OP) is a woman who went no contact with her step-mother. We're all familiar with the archetype of the evil step-mother, but we don't really know the story here. Push comes to shove, and the step-mother breaks the no contact barrier anyway, but you'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 13 hr. ago SMGifts ThrowA AITA for immediately donating the gifts my stepmother bought for my children?
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 02
    I (34F) have no contact with my stepmother "Mary." Long story not worth explaining (edit: I loosely explained in a comment). It's been 5 years since I cut her off from my and my family's lives. As such, she hasn't seen my son (8M) since he was 3 years old, and she's never met my daughter (4F).
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 03
    Throughout the years, she has attempted to contact me and my kids several times. My father used to help her sometimes. He'd tell me how awful she felt, how much she wanted to meet my daughter and that the kids needed their grandma (I've never considered her a grandparent, as both my
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 04
    mother and mother-in-law are active in their lives).
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 05
    Several fights later, my father apologized and stopped assisting her, but Mary still tries to get in touch with me every now and then. I always state I have no interest in seeing her or allowing her to be a part of my children's lives.
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 06
    My son's birthday was in September. The day of (neither of my kids were home), a large box was delivered to our building. I opened it to find more than a dozen new toys for my children, along with a note that read "Grandma Mary loves you both."
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 07
    As I later found out, she had bought the toys on a recent trip to the US.
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 08
    I couldn't think of that as anything besides a manipulation tactic. My children are barely aware that she exists, why would she send them both a box full of toys on my son's birthday? I also think she planned the delivery for a time she thought the kids would be home so that they'd see the toys immediately.
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 09
    Either way, my husband and I decided not to keep any of the toys. We donated them all throughout October. The kids never saw any of them.
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 10
    Last week, my father called me. He said Mary had just told him about the toys and wanted to know whether the kids liked them. I told him the truth, and we had an argument.
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 11
    My father called me cruel and ungrateful for what I did. He said he understands Mary and I don't get along, but she still cared enough to spend hundreds of dollars on a "loving gesture” for my children, and the least I could have done was let them know about it.
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 12
    I honestly couldn't imagine keeping those toys, but I'd be lying if I said the amount of money spent on them didn't make me feel guilty. AITA?
    via u/SMGifts ThrowA
  • 13
    AssistanceOk3669 • 13h ago • 18 I mean I do kind of want to know the story lol. Of course NTA, no contact means no contact. You didn't ask her to spend money on gifts that shouldn't have been sent.
    via u/AssistanceOk3669
  • 14
    FloMoJoeBlow • 13h ago • NTA. It is indeed a manipulation tactic.
    via u/FloMoJoeBlow
  • 15
    DankyMcJangles • 13h ago • You feel guilty? So then you're saying her manipulation tactic worked. Stop right there. Don't feed into it. Don't let her win. Stay the course. ΝΤΑ
    via u/DankyMcJangles
  • 16
    Existing_Winter... • 13h ago • NTA. Mary's the manipulative dumbass who spent all that money for children she's not allowed contact with. Not your problem.
    via u/Existing_Winter
  • 17
    Alternative_Talk... • 12h ago • NTA this is why you are NC. A manipulative gesture. You did the right thing. Mary can get lost.
    via u/Alternative_Talk
  • 18
    2 Winter-eyed 12h ago • • NTA. Mary spent hundreds of dollars not on a "loving gesture" but on a manipulation tactic and it failed. She had been told where she stands and yet she is still flailing around like she's lost. She isn't she's just
    via u/Winter-eyed
  • 19
    trying to be the victim. Mary needs to move along and find some other outlet for her frustration.
    via u/Winter-eyed
  • 20
    Awkward_Light4... • 13h ago • That's exactly why it is manipulation. It is meant to make you feel guilty. And it is trying to establish a relationship with your children without your approval. Just ignore the drama and live a peaceful life.
    via u/Awkward_Light4
  • 21
    Ok Historian_646 • 12h ago NTA. NTA. NTA!!!!!!! Mary knew exactly what she was doing as she's been doing this stuff for at least 5 years. What you decided to do with the toys a stranger attempted to give your
    via u/Ok Historian_646
  • 22
    children was donate them back to people in need. Some might throw them away, but you put the toys to good use.
    via u/Ok Historian_646
  • 23
    It might be time to go LC with your dad if he can't respect your boundaries as well (NC with your stepmom). Tell your father if her behavior does not stop immediately then you'll have. to reconsider how much contact you'll have with him.
    via u/Ok Historian_646

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family drama drama birthday stepmom family feud relationships parenting lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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