Woman Sues Boyfriend After Finding Her Bank Account Empty, He Admits to Transferring Her Money to His Account Under the Guise of ‘Providing for Her’

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 29, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. There's no rush in bridging bank accounts with the person you love. Trusting someone with not only your money, but their own, isn't something you should do lightly. If you're the type of person to save and spend frugally, then it's better to wait to merge bank accounts until you say 'I do.' Mixing money and pleasure should only be done with you're 100% certain of the person you're with. To be honest, many couples are opting to still have separate accounts, as well as a merged one. This is the wisest scenario, but not everyone will have the foresight. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, the original poster (OP) is a woman who's been with her boyfriend for two years, albeit two years of betrayal and deceit. When she thought everything was going swimmingly, she's stunned to find out his financial treachery. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH⚫ 12 hr. ago Business-Midnight-86 AITAH for Breaking Up with My Boyfriend and Thinking of Suing Him After He Spent My Life Savings?
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 02
    Hey everyone, I really need some perspective here because my head is all over the place. I (27F) recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, Jake (29M), after discovering something that honestly still makes me feel sick.
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 03
    For context, I've worked super hard to get where I am in life. I lost my dad when I was really young and grew up watching my mom struggle to make ends meet. That motivated me to be really careful with money. I work in marketing now (for an OnlyFans agency don't judge), and I've been lucky enough to
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 04
    save up quite a bit. By the time this all happened, I had just over $30k saved, plus a couple of credit cards I only used for emergencies.
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 05
    Jake and I always had different financial situations. He's had trouble holding down stable jobs, but I didn't mind helping him out now and then. I loved him and figured relationships are about supporting each other, right? I thought I could trust him.
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 06
    A few weeks ago, I went to check my bank account to move some money into my savings, and it was empty. Like, completely wiped out. At first, I thought there was some kind of mistake or fraud. Then I checked my credit cards they were maxed out, too. Altogether, he'd burned through over $50k.
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 07
    When I confronted him, he admitted he'd been secretly transferring money from my account and using my cards for months. He said he wanted to "treat me" and "feel like he could give me the life I deserve." But the charges? They weren't for me. He'd been buying designer clothes, the newest tech gadgets,
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 08
    and spending ridiculous amounts at high-end clubs... for him and his friends.
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 09
    I was shaking when he confessed. I couldn't believe the person I thought I knew could do something like this. He broke down crying, saying he never meant for it to go so far, and he'd pay me back. But how? He's broke. He doesn't even have a stable job.
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 10
    I told him to pack his stuff and leave my apartment. We're done. But now I'm stuck trying to figure out what to do. I've worked so hard to build my savings, and now I'm drowning in debt because of him. I've been thinking about suing him, but some of our mutual friends are telling me that's too extreme,
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 11
    that it would destroy him. They say I should just give him time to pay me back. But how can I trust him after this?
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 12
    Part of me feels guilty for even thinking about taking legal action against someone I loved, but I don't know what else to do. This is my future he's destroyed.
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 13
    So, AITAH for breaking up with him and considering suing him if he doesn't pay me back? Or should I just cut my losses and move on? I'm so confused.
    via u/Business-Midnight-86
  • 14
    Born-Horror-5... • 12h ago • Why did he have access to these accounts in the first place? ETA: Just saw he was on these accounts. You played yourself, I'm afraid. You're f....ed. some of our mutual friends are telling
    via u/Born-Horror-5
  • 15
    me that's too extreme, that it would destroy him These people aren't your friends. It would destroy him, but leaving you broke and in debt doesn't destroy you? F that guy, and f those "friends." They
    via u/Born-Horror-5
  • 16
    were probably benefitting from his theft.
    via u/Born-Horror-5
  • 17
    • Zscalerrguy 12h ago • Please report this to the police.
    via u/Zscalerrguy
  • 18
    Regular_Emph... 11h ago. You put your bf on all your credit cards and your bank. accounts? You should close all the accounts asap. I guess this is a super hard life lesson, but it isn't criminal. Quite the hard lesson to learn. You're not a
    via u/Regular_Emph
  • 19
    ah, but extremely naive and screwed unless he is actually willing to pay you for any of it, which he doesn't have to.
    via u/Regular_Emph
  • 20
    • coygobbler 12h ago • How was he able to access your bank account? Was his name also on it? Were these credit cards joint?
    via u/coygobbler
  • 21
    Hungry-Quot... • 11h ago • Then I checked my credit cards they were maxed out, too. You don't get monthly statements? Minimum payment alerts? Etc. Doubt that.
    via u/Hungry-Quot
  • 22
    NewLaw5393 • 11h ago I am a little confused. You say that you are careful with your money, but then how did you not know your cards were maxed out and your savings account and bank account were low on funds? Some of the
    via u/NewLaw5393
  • 23
    response point to a response you have that advises you pit him on your accounts and your cards. While I understand that you did this out of support and love and just wonder how you missed his spending all of your money. I say this not to shame you, if he was
    via u/NewLaw5393
  • 24
    fraudulent o. His love for you that's on him and not on you, you I lived in good faith. However, legally, you do not really have a case if you allowed him unfettered access to your credit cards and your accounts; unless his outlandish spending has only been recently and with
    via u/NewLaw5393
  • 25
    in the last few months- the that would make sense. Either way getting him out of your life was a right choice. I would look into what options, if any, you do have to get some $$ back. If he was using it all on himself and the $$ was available for household
    via u/NewLaw5393
  • 26
    needs and expenses then... maybe?? But sadly I don't think so - it's prob going to be chopped up to a bad life experience. No one person in this world is worth putting you into debt. Women do not need a man to exist or to take care of them or have a man on
    via u/NewLaw5393
  • 27
    their arm. You deserve better- know this and go for better. Next time keep your finances for yourself until you really know who the person is and what their intentions are. Sorry this happened to you - you are NTA.
    via u/NewLaw5393
  • 28
    Candid Proces... • 12h ago • Top 1% Commenter NTA! He was using you for your money he is the real AH make dure to get you money back sue him!
    via u/Candid Proces
  • 29
    . 12h ago Edited 12h ago • I'm so confused. Banks send statements, so do credit cards....how did you not notice large sums of money exiting your account. I log into my bank every few days from the comfort of my home to give a quick check.
    via u/vickeymoon38
  • 30
    If you footed the bill, or most of it, for basic living and now he is forced to pay for all of it he won't be able to afford to live yet alone pay you back. Also, fat chance he will pay you back when his name was on the account and he finds out it is not a criminal matter. You
    via u/vickeymoon38
  • 31
    may be able to sue him in civil court but if he does not have the money it will just cost you more.
    via u/vickeymoon38
  • 32
    PLEASE NEVER ALLOW ANYONE ACCESS TO ALL OF YOUR MONEY !!!! Especially a boyfriend. I'm married, we both work and pay for things pursuant to our individual income. Will we step up for each other 1000%, do we nickle and dime every little thing...h I
    via u/vickeymoon38
  • 33
    no. We even know the basic balance of each other's account and one will step up if they have more. BUT do we have access to each other's account ... h I no. BECAUSE SH HAPPENS!!!
    via u/vickeymoon38
  • 34
    We trust each other after 25 years together, for us this is a safety issue if one of our accounts get compromised. A not all your eggs in one basket type thing. We won't lose everything.
    via u/vickeymoon38
  • 35
    You are not in the same boat... you don't have that trust built nor are you married where money will be shared legally. H I you never even insisted your bf work full time nor questioned where he got his money for his luxury goods.
    via u/vickeymoon38
  • 36
    Either this is a troll account or you have a lot of growing up to do (and smartening up street/life wise). I'm sorry but there were SO MANY red flags here that you ignored.
    via u/vickeymoon38

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