Man Refuses to Fund Brother’s Lavish Lifestyle After He Already Lent Him Money With Not a Dime Reimbursed, Causing Family to Choose Sides

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 27, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Some people have strict protocols when it comes to lending money. Some might lend it frivolously, while others choose never to mix money and relationships. To be honest, I'm on the side of the latter; I think someone has to be in extremely dire need of money to feel justified in lending them money, unless it's small amounts. 

In this Reddit thread, the original poster (OP) is a man who's already lent his brother a large sum of money, expecting he was in dire need of it and that he'd pay it back pronto. Not only does the brother not really need the money, he lives a lavish lifestyle that his current salary doesn't even come close to affording. Not only does the brother refuse to pay him back, he even expects more money from OP! It's not only shocking how the brother is treating OP, but how half the family is taking the brother's side. But you'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 13 hr. ago DragonfruitFull1860 AITA for refusing to lend my brother any more money for his lifestyle when he still owes me thousands?
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 02
    So I (32F) have a younger brother, "Mark" (29M). He's always been a bit of a show-off, the type who loves to flaunt his "success." But honestly, he's not really successful. He's got an average job, but he lives like he's rolling in money: high-rise apartment, designer clothes, fancy dinners, frequent vacations...you get the
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 03
    idea. All of this on a salary that, trust me, doesn't come anywhere close to covering that lifestyle.
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 04
    About a year ago, Mark asked me for a "small loan" because he was apparently "going through a tough time financially." He said he'd be able to pay me back in three months. I didn't think too much of it at the time-it was a decent chunk of change, but I figured hey, he's family, he'll come through. Fast forward three
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 05
    months...and nothing. I asked him about it, and he gave me some excuse about "unexpected bills" and needing a little more time. I tried to be understanding, but this went on for months.
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 06
    And it's not like he's living frugally while he's sorting things out. While he's "paying off these debts," he's STILL taking vacations and buying expensive stuff. He doesn't even try to hide it! I mean, I'm literally seeing him post pictures on his Instagram from some luxury resort, captioned "Treat yourself, you
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 07
    captioned "Treat yourself, you deserve it." Meanwhile, I'm at home working my butt off, budgeting, and he owes me thousands.
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 08
    So, a few days ago, he calls me up asking for another loan, saying he's short on rent for his high-rise place. I just straight-up told him, "Mark, I'm done funding your lifestyle. I want my money back, and until then, don't ask me for anything." He went off about how I'm being "stingy" and how. "family's supposed to help each
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 09
    other." He even had the nerve to say I don't "understand his struggle," as if I don't work hard myself to afford my own lifestyle (and I'm not living lavishly).
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 10
    Now, he's dragged some family members into it, and they're split. Some are saying I'm being harsh because "I can afford it" and I should "help him out” while others think it's time he learned to live within his means.
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 11
    But honestly? I'm just frustrated. I tried to help him, and I've been patient for a year, watching him throw money around on luxuries while I go without things I want to be responsible. So, AITA for cutting him off? Or should I just keep helping him out since he's my brother?
    via u/DragonfruitFull1860
  • 12
    Candid_Proces... • 13h ago • NTA! Your brother needs a reality check, he needs to grow up and take care of himself and his finances let jim move to a smaller place so save up some money!
    via u/Candid_Proces
  • 13
    Maine302 13h ago • • You're never getting your money back, so chalk it up to experience and cut your losses. Never give him another cent, and tell anyone suggesting that you should to go pound sand.
    via u/Maine302
  • 14
    Witty_Collectio... • 12h ago When he loses the apartment, DO NOT let him move in with you. NTA Edit: Grammer, Spelling
    via u/Witty_Collectio
  • 15
    kam49ers4ever • 13h ago • NTA. It's the height of audacity to post your luxury vacation photos knowing that the person you owe money to is going to see them. Next person who tells you that you should help your brother should be sent a screenshot and asked if
    via u/kam49ers4ever
  • 16
    they want to pay for his vacations because you paid for the last one and can't afford one of your own because of it.
    via u/kam49ers4ever
  • 17
    Cinnamon Blue • 13h ago • As with every other post with the exact same scenario as this, tell the family members who think you're wrong to cough up.
    via u/Cinnamon Blue
  • 18
    rostockerjung80 • 8h ago • NTA, this is a good reminder to tell him he still owes you!
    via u/rostockerjung80
  • 19
    knintn 13h ago • NTA if your other family members are telling you to help, ask them why they aren't helping? If family helps family!
    via u/knintn
  • 20
    • access422 13h ago • This exact scenario estranged my father in law and his brother, dad said no more money and they don't speak any more
    via u/access422
  • 21
    brattyscarr⚫8h ago • You're definitely not the ahle here. You've been more than patient, and it's not your responsibility to fund his lavish lifestyle. Family should support each other, but that doesn't mean enabling irresponsible behavior.
    via u/brattyscarr
  • 22
    Competitive-S... • 13h ago • NTA. He needs to curb his spending, he should have done that after the last time you loaned him money. If he looses the apartment it will be the kick he needs to find somewhere he can actually afford.
    via u/Competitive-S
  • 23
    BoggyCreekll 13h ago • I haven't even read the post itself. Just read the subject question, and already, NTA. Dude already owes you thousands??? He needs to pay that back before he asks for any more.
    via u/BoggyCreekll

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