Woman Excludes Nephew from Family Vacation After He Fails to Commit to the Cost, Family Take Nephew’s Side, Resulting in Potential Trip Cancellation

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 31, 2024 8:00 PM EST

In every family, there are one or two members who always find themselves planning every family outing or vacation. They are destined to be the 'mom' of the family, even if they are not actually the mom of the family.

However, as the family grows bigger every day, as people find partners, get married, and have kids, it becomes increasingly harder to plan a family gathering that works for everyone. As mentioned, that burden always falls on the same people, who have to figure out a way to make everyone happy, and spoiler alert – that way does not exist. 

The woman in this Reddit story is learning this lesson the hard way, while she tries to plan her next family trip. The main problem is her 20-year-old nephew, who has bailed on every previous family vacation up until now. This time, OP (original poster) decided to exclude him from the trip completely, but that did not sit well with the rest of the family, who decided to protest on his behalf.

Keep scrolling to read about the full family drama. After that, click here for a magical collection of Harry Potter memes for magnificent ladies.

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  • 01
    Now most members of my family are outraged and, though not actually boycotting the trip, incessantly vocal on their displeasure at my 'targeting' my nephew.
    via vvvita
  • 02
    AITA for not inviting my nephew on vacation
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 03
    For the last 20ish years, I've planned a family trip. I love to travel and this is a way to include my siblings and their children (10 ppl) in my passion and a fun way to spend time together. I cover
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 04
    the cost of the tour and transport to the destination and they cover the tips/incidentals. So far, we've gone to Turkey, South Africa, Viet Nam, Croatia, Panama, Mongolia and Iceland. It's typically about
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 05
    $4000-6000/person and requires months/years of planning and budgeting. I poll the family on their availabilities about 18-24 months prior to the planned trip.
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 06
    My nephew (late 20s) has RSVPed yes for the last 4 trips, only to back out at the very last minute (the week prior) such that I can't recoup the cost of his fare and the reasons he doesn't make it
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 07
    are never acceptable for a travel insurance claim. (work emergency (he's an accountant), friend's wedding, concert tickets, high school 10 yr reunion)
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 08
    I'm currently planning a Galapagos cruise for October 2026 and decided not to extend the invite to my nephew because he's so unreliable.
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 09
    Now most members of my family are outraged and, though not actually boycotting the trip, incessantly vocal on their displeasure at my 'targeting' my nephew.
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 10
    I've tried to compromise by requesting that he give me a deposit with the plan that I return it if he actually comes but this only seemed to make people angrier. I mentioned canceling
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 11
    the trip. I'm in tears and just don't know what to do. I love my family. Was it a h le move to exclude my nephew?
    via Inanarcticparadise
  • 12
    Human-Obligation3621 • 4d ago A h le Enthusiast [7] So in the last four years, your nephew has wasted somewhere between $16k and $24k of your money and no one in your family thinks there's anything wrong with that? They clearly think you have endless amounts of money and
    via Human-Obligation3621
  • 13
    feel entitled to it. I would absolutely refrain from planning further vacations for them since they are treating you so badly. His parents should be mortified that he has repeatedly done this and offered to cover any non
    via Human-Obligation3621
  • 14
    refundable costs since he has not had the grace to do so himself. You are definitely NTA. How does your family treat you when you are on these vacations? How do they treat you over the course of your day to day life? Their current behavior does not trend with people who are appreciative and
    via Human-Obligation3621
  • 15
    gracious. It would align more with people who are selfish and entitled. The issue for your nephew is that he has no skin in this game. He did not find out about these conflicts the week before, he just didn't tell you about them. Sounds like when
    via Human-Obligation3621
  • 16
    it came down to it, he just didn't really want to go on these trips. Does he not realize you incurred nonrefundable costs? Did he accept the invitations or did his parents accept on his behalf without consulting him? If they accepted in his behalf, maybe they
    via Human-Obligation3621
  • 17
    accepted in his behalf, maybe they are reacting poorly now out of guilt bc this is actually their fault, not their son's. Assuming you still want to go on trips with these people, I would talk to him directly and explain all the costs incurred on his behalf over the past several years. Tell
    via Human-Obligation3621
  • 18
    him that you will include him this year if he pays last year's non refunded costs. Tell him the date he has to let you know by if he intends to back out. After that point, he won't be invited again
    via Human-Obligation3621
  • 19
    unless he pays those nonrefundable costs. And by the way. This is all very disrespectful and not how you should treat someone who is giving you a free vacation.
    via Human-Obligation3621
  • 20
    cassowary32 • 4d ago Part ipant [4] NTA. Your family has been using you. I would be so angry if a relative has consistently flaked costing another family member $30k over the years without reimbursing them. You've probably spent over half a million on trips
    via cassowary32
  • 21
    with your family and they are treating you this way? It's time to make new friends and travel partners. Your family doesn't care about you. They are only around for the fancy trips and your money. Otherwise they would have agreed to consequences for flaking.
    via cassowary32
  • 22
    ZaelDaemon • 4d ago You would the A Hole if you go forward with the trip as planned. Cancel the trip for everyone except you and your younger sister. Stop being used. NTA
    via ZaelDaemon
  • 23
    National Pension_110 • 4d ago. Certified Pr... Top 1% Comme... NTA. Tell family members they are welcome to cover nephew's costs, only to flush that money down the toilet. I'm sure nephew has never offered to repay the lost deposits.
    via National_Pension_110
  • 24
    • Prestigious Ear_7374 4d ago • NTA. When someone is unreliable for a trip, they must be held accountable or excluded. Or they will be charged the full amount or they won't be invited.
    via Prestigious_Ear_7374
  • 25
    perpetuallyxhausted • 4d ago • Top 1% Commenter NTA leave them all behind and take just yourself, and your younger sister (if she's backing you) on holiday.
    via perpetuallyxhausted
  • 26
    Happy_Sunshine123 • 4d ago You don't owe anyone a free trip. The end. NTA. I am sorry your family members are acting so entitled.
    via Happy_Sunshine123

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nephews family drama cost aita cancelled mother reddit story family feud cruise aunt family trip Reddit money children Father vacation
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