'[My mom] said that it would be childish and embarrassing of me': 26-year-old bride finds dress of her dreams, mother refuses to pay for it and sparks "huge drama"

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 14, 2024 5:00 PM EST

This woman is wondering how much say her family should get as she's picking out the wedding dress of her dreams. Turns out that her mom really dislikes her choice of dress!

For many brides, going dress shopping with the female relatives in their life can be a cherished memory. Often, brides will gather their friends, their mom, and maybe bring along Grandma or a few aunts too, as the bride goes to find her dream dress. Every bride has a different vision for what she wants to wear, with some picking the hottest new dresses off the rack, while others want a specific vintage look. There are sleeveless options, ornate dresses covered in lace, or dresses covered in pearls or gems. But this woman actually wants something a little different for her wedding attire.

As commenters noted, this person's family is really overreacting here. No one is going to care very much about the wedding dress in the grand scheme of things, so why not let the bride have her dream dress? 

Next, read about a different kind of family drama: these parents are sharing the mildly infuriating things their kiddos are doing, like one parent who "Made bagels... my toddler took a single bite out of each one."

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    Cheezburger Image 10441540608
    via Alexandra Tran on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITA for drama over pink wedding dress Throwaway account Me (26f) and my fiance (26m) are getting married this coming May. Last week, me and my parents were discussing plans for the wedding. For the longest time (since teens perhaps), I have had my heart set on a pink wedding gown. That color makes me feel the prettiest and (I believe) suits
    via u/Nice-Assignment8614
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    me more than white. My mom has known about this interest, but always thought it was one of those fancies which would "go away" once I grew up and actually decided to get married. Well, here we are. When I brought up the pink wedding dress again during our discussion, my mom and I got into a serious argument about it. She said that it would be childish and embarrassing of me to get married in a gown that
    via u/Nice-Assignment8614
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    color and she doesn't want me to regret in the future looking back at my photos. I argued that there was nothing embarrasing about wearing a color I like on MY special day, and even James didn't mind what color of the dress I wore. I also said that regret could go either way and I could end up regretting NOT wearing pink in the future so I'd rather go with the decision that makes me happy right now.
    via u/Nice-Assignment8614
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    Although my dad hasn't been as vocally against the pink dress, he is starting to side with mom seeing how upset she is getting over this. Over the whole week, there has been no end in sight to this argument, with my mom bringing up multiple times how they won't pay their half for the wedding dress if I go with pink (the initial
    via u/Nice-Assignment8614
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    agreement was to split the bill 50-50). My brother (30m) thinks the whole argument over this color is ridiculous and told mom that he'd be happy to split the bill with me instead, and they might end up being the ones regretting this whole drama more than me regretting the color in the future.
    via u/Nice-Assignment8614
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    I honestly feel so torn over this. I am not sure anymore if I want the pink dress that badly just because I feel hurt the way my parents reacted to it and made such a big deal out of it. On the other hand, this is what I have always wanted but I do feel like this small of a decision is causing a hige drama for no reason. AITA?
    via u/Nice-Assignment8614
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: My opinions about wanting a pink wedding dress may have gotten stronger after the drama/
    via u/Nice-Assignment8614
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    argument it caused with my parents. I feel like I am tearing the family apart and acting childish over this small thing such as color
    via u/Nice-Assignment8614
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    Ok_Expression... NTA. Your mom is overreacting. Get the dress. that makes you happiest. In whatever color you want. If they refuse to pay for half, have a smaller wedding or take your brother up on his offer. If having a smaller wedding means your parents' friends aren't invited, oh well.
    via u/Ok_Expression7723
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    I hate gifts with strings attached. It's just manipulative not a real gift.
    via u/Ok_Expression7723
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    TheSciFiGuy80 NTA Historically people didn't wear white. Queen Victoria changed all that in the 19th century with her white gown which was widely published and popularized the idea.
    via u/TheSciFiGuy80
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    Before 1840, brides often wore red, pink, blue, brown, or black. However, white didn't become the standard choice for brides until the mid-20th century. This was due to the rise of mass media, fashion magazines, and Hollywood films, which helped reinforce the association between white dresses and weddings.
    via u/TheSciFiGuy80
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    So just remind her that this is your wedding and you want to feel pretty in a gown of your choice.
    via u/TheSciFiGuy80
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    Jyqm I do feel like this small of a decision is causing a hige drama for no reason. There is precisely one person causing drama here, and frankly it's ridiculous that you think it might be you.
    via u/Jyqm
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    My brother (30m) thinks the whole argument over this color is ridiculous and told mom that he'd be happy to split the bill with me instead Sounds like you've got a solution then, assuming you can't afford to pay for the dress in full yourself.
    via u/Jyqm
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    NTA, but you need to be very clear with your mother that you are an adult who is perfectly capable of making her own decisions, and this sort of nasty micromanaging and pettifogging is not going to be acceptable from here on out. Particularly if she wants to enjoy a relationship with her future grandchildren (assuming you're planning on becoming parents, anyway).
    via u/Jyqm
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    SizzleDebizzle NTA Stop arguing. If someone doesnt like what youre doing and they wanna change your mind, you dont have to engage. Thank them for their input and care but this is what youre doing and dont engage anymore
    via u/SizzleDebizzle

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