Paternal grandparents try to get custody of their 2-year-old granddaughter after her mother refuses to let her travel by herself to spend Christmas with them: 'Now Clara is bigger and can travel without [her mom]'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Dec 15, 2024 8:00 PM EST

There's something suspicious about grandparents who act like they're the child's parents. Obviously, that's normal if a grandparent is acting as a primary caretaker, but when the parents or parent of the child is fully competent and caring, it can get a little strange. If you've seen any posts from the Grandparents Rights movement, you know the kind of people I'm talking about. They believe that grandparents should have a legal right to be in their grandchildren's lives, whether the parents want that or not. It's often a movement populated by grandparents who weren't good parents to their children or extremely politically radical parents who can't set that aside and prioritize their relationship with their family. 

The grandparents in this story don't really fall under either of those categories. Their son, the father, passed during the mother's pregnancy, and over time, they've gotten more and more possessive over their 2-year-old granddaughter. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10441986304
    via Yunus Tuğ (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITAH for not let my daughter's grandparents to take her this Christmas?
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    I (30f) am the single mother of Clara (2f). My pregnancy wasn't planned, I had a "no strings attached" relationship with her father, Jack (30s m), for seven months when I became pregnant unexpectedly. He lived in another state, but would visit my city monthly for business reasons and we hit it off after meeting in a bar. We thought about our
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    options regarding the pregnancy, but I decided to keep the baby. Jack wanted to be part of her life, so we planned to raise the baby together but not as a couple, just co-parents. Unfortunately Jack's passed away during my pregnancy.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    Jack's parents (Linda and James) knew that I was pregnant when he passed, we already had done a prenatal paternity test at the time. We were all devastated by his passing, but off course his parents were destroyed by it.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    Clara is their first and only grandkid and she became their beacon of light in a dark time, as they say. They have other two daughters, Ruth (37f) and Lily (27f), but they don't have children. Ruth is trying to conceive for a long time with her husband and Lily is childfree and single.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    Jack's whole family lives in another state - with the exception of Lily, that lives abroad. They have a family business so their life is there, while I have my family and career in my current city, where I live with Clara. Since Clara was born we have an agreement, nothing legal, but we all agreed with visitations for her grandparents and aunts. They
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    usually visit Clara twice a month, James and Linda are the ones that visit the most, but Ruth also shows up sometimes. I really appreciate their presence on her life. Since the beginning, a point of content on our relationship was travelling with Clara to their state. They have a big property that's in their family for over 100.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    years and have a family business too. In their small town they are treated as almost royalty and wanted Clara to experience that. I understand that it's good for my daughter to know her heritage, but I always put my foot down on the idea of their travelling with her without me.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    I already visited their hometown 3 times with Clara since she was born, but this isn't enough apparently. Our relationship wasn't perfect, I had some issues with Linda meddling way too much on my parenting, but we were civil until I started my current relationship. I've been dating Ted (34m) for almost a
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    year and things are tense with James and Linda. Ted and I don't live together and he has a daughter, Marie(4f) that lives with him. Linda has expressed disapproval to his 'constant' presence in my house (which is not true, both of us work a lot and between our kids and other
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    priorities we probably see each other 3-4 times a week), to Marie having play dates and sleepovers with Clara and the list go on. The woman will find a way to comment something even about Ted's car parked in front of my house.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    Things escalated when two weeks ago I emailed Linda, James and Ruth an invite for Christmas eve. Ted and I will have a get together with our families and close friends. I decided to invite Clara's grandparents so they can expend Christmas eve with her, but I also let them know that if they prefer they can take her for lunch on Christmas day. The next day Linda
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    texted me that they already had plans to take Clara to their home on Christmas. I said that this was not happening. I didn't hear anything from her for about two days. Linda called me stating that she gave me two days to cool off and be reasonable. I asked what she meant, and she said they have rights over Clara and they had waited too much to take her home for Christmas. Now she is
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    bigger and can travel without me. I said that this was never discussed and I will not let them travel with my daughter without even discussing with me before. Linda said this was the discussion before the travel, I laughed on the call and said she was
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    delusional. Things escalated quickly after that, I was accused of trying to replace Jack on Clara's life, I also said some things that were a little cruel about Jack never even meeting Clara.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    After Linda hung up on me James called and tried to 'reason' with me. He let it slip that they bought Clara's plane tickets two months ago without asking me first. I said there's no way I would let them walk all over me. James lost his
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    temper and demand that I should apologize to Linda or we will go to court over this. I didn't back down and said they were choosing to fight over this, not me.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    Well, after some time of silence from them I was served with court papers, they are suing me over custody of Clara and are stating I am unfit as a mother. I already have a lawyer who I consult before our fight over the
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    phone, she told me yesterday they have almost 0 chance of getting any custody. The most they can get is visitation, but still I am worry about this becoming a legal battle.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    People on my life are divided. Part of them think I did nothing wrong by putting up boundaries and other's think it's petty of me to start a fight with my daughter's grandparents when I could let them travel with her for Christmas when I know they are good grandparents and will take care of her. AITAH?
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    Chaotic Crashy • 7h ago Top 5% Commenter Absolutely NTA Clara is your child. The idea of a 2 year old traveling without her mother is asinine. You were very kind to encourage their relationship with your daughter. However, they are taking things way too far.
    via u/ChaoticCrashy
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    They will not get custody. Do not allow them any contact with Clara- they want custody and may just take her. They are clear in what they want. Any further communication with them will be twisted and used against you. Congratulations on your new relationship. You deserve some happiness and peace.
    via u/ChaoticCrashy
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    Apprehensive-Mix2251 OP Thank you for validating my feelings.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    Shiel009 Just as a heads up. I would bet money they'll call a False Cps case on you. Talk to your lawyer about the possibility and what you can do to be proactive before it starts
    via u/Shiel009
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    cah125 But also the idea of not having Christmas together is insane. Wt actual f. To separate a mother from her child and take that child out of their home for Christmas... these grandparent are AHs Also.. like is she supposed to never date again?! She wasn't even in a serious relationship with that man...
    via u/cah125
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    ElsaUncovered NTA. They bought plane tickets two months ago without asking you? That's not planning ahead, that's delusional travel agency energy. You are Clara's mom and not some vacation rental they can book on Airbnb
    via u/ElsaUncovered
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    Apprehensive-Mix2251 OP Exactly. That's what ped me off the most, who does that with someone else's child? They act like Clara is their child, not mine.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    AnneShurely • 7h ago • Top 5% Commenter If I were you, I would get the most aggressive underhanded lawyer I could find to drag their names through the mud. You cannot trust your child with them. They do not respect you. They are selfish and unreasonable bu ies. Fight fire with fire NTA
    via u/AnneShurely
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    Apprehensive-Mix2251 OP My lawyer is a very fierce lady with almost 20 years of experience in family law. My sister is a lawyer and was her student on college, she immediately said I should phone her former teacher and I did.
    via u/Apprehensive-Mix2251
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    premar16 seems a bit kidnappy to me.
    via u/premar16

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christmas family drama daughter in law grandma granddaughter grandchildren parenting father in law in laws mother in law Grandpa family grandparents daughter mom
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