'Tone it down?': Mom demands her son's girlfriend to dress 'less woke' for the family Christmas party, claiming it's a bad example for the children, ends up alienating her son for the holidays

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Dec 20, 2024 6:00 AM EST

If anyone with a boisterous personality gets told to 'tone it down,' in all likelihood, that's just going to fuel the rebel fire in their soul and make them ramp it up a bit. Like when someone tells you to 'calm down' when you're in a fight, more often than not, that demand is going to have the opposite effect. 

So when this snobby mom told her son's girlfriend to tone down her colorful wardrobe for the family Christmas party, things went haywire.

Over the last 5 years, I've had every hair color under the sun–pink, orange, red, purple, and even green. Would I be filled with rage if someone told me I had to change that part of myself to suit an uptight table of family members? If you don't like what I do with my style, there's the door…

The man in our next story was faced with a dilemma when his ultra-uptight mom decided to take it upon herself to beg that his girlfriend not dress so 'woke' to their family Christmas. I'm not sure what that even entails, according to this lady, but for a colorful personality to dull down their look, it's like stripping the wings from a butterfly–and thus, a big no-no. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10442001408
    via View Apart

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AIO for telling my mom my gf and I aren't coming to Christmas dinner? family/in-laws I'm not even sure how to respond at this point. I love my girlfriend so much, and if I told her my mom said this, it would crush her
    via ManlyyManBun
  • 03
    ← Mom Active Now we'll try to be there around 4pm then, it's about a 2 hour drive from pur apartment planning on coming Is with you? yes, she's off work that day That's okay please just ask if she will tone it down some since the grandkids will be there tone it down?
    via ManlyyManBun
  • 04
    Clothes, makeup And please don't bring up the living situation anything in particular clothing wise? Living situation? She dresses very flamboyant/ woke and it makes some of the family uncomfortable
    via ManlyyManBun
  • 05
    You all are living together and not married, it sets a bad example for the grandchildren can we call to talk about this? At work right now, please just pass that along to her I'm not going to ask Tito change the way she dresses for your Christmas dinner, she's an adult. And I cannot promise that I will not mention something about our life during dinner
    via ManlyyManBun
  • 06
    And if she wants to bring a dish with potatoes in it, Aun■■ had to change dishes Well she cannot just come into our family and make everyone uncomfortable. Being an adult sometimes means you have to think about other peoples feelings That's very true. I think in this case, I need to think about 's feelings. I think we may skip christmas dinner.
    via ManlyyManBun
  • 07
    ManlyyManBun OP My gf is bi and occasionally dyes her hair blue/pink, septum piercing, very colorful clothing and big accessories. It's just her personality, and nothing crazy sexual or extreme (no fishnets, thongs, hahahha) It's just her personal style that may or may not give queer energy ig, which my mom doesn't appreciate
    via ManlyyManBun
  • 08
    ihcgaws I swear people don't think about what words mean anymore. How does one dress 'woke'?
    via ihcgaws
  • 09
    Nukeitandstartover Is she expected to wear a 50s housewife getup, with the apron and heels and all? Or like the modern look thats either borderline business casual, or sweats?
    via Nukeitandstartover
  • 10
    Lucrative-Cereal Thank you for being an SO that sticks up for your person! I understand if she like shows up in a nightclub night out type outfit but what does "woke" mean in relation to clothing? And you shouldn't have to avoid talking about your life, that is your life decision. These grandkids are growing up now, not in 1950 sheesh.
    via Lucrative-Cereal
  • 11
    thekilling_kind OP, good on you for standing up for your partner. For many of us, coming into our style and owning our queerness through our fashion choices has been incredibly freeing and affirming. Especially
    via thekilling_kind
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    when in a relationship with a man - it's one of the ways that we can continue be proud in our identities. If I heard that my partner's mother was speaking this way about me I would be absolutely crushed.
    via thekilling_kind
  • 13
    grapenutree If she thinks the grandkids will someday be ok with "living in sin" solely because you guys are, she needs to loosen her expectations some. While that may have been less common in her day, it isn't anymore. Bad example. lol
    via grapenutree
  • 14
    As for the attire, I can't really say if your GF dresses inappropriately for a family sitch or not, but unless she's in a tube top with hanging out and little booty shorts I would say she is likely in the clear there too. What is dressing "woke" anyway?
    via grapenutree
  • 15
    TheForcels Napping Mom isn't keeping the peace. She mentions the girlfriend dressing "woke" and being flamboyant. Mom obviously doesn't like the girlfriend, or the fact they live together, as she mentioned it being a bad example for the kids who will be present. Mom is the problem.
    via TheForcelsNapping
  • 16
    Easy peasylemosqueze Kids cover your eyes! A couple is coming over and they LIVE together! Your mom sounds really judgemental. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and your girl.
    via Easypeasylemosqueze

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