Employee gets excluded from coworker's housewarming party while everyone else in the office is invited, decides to report it to the CEO: ‘I assumed we were friends’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 20, 2024 10:00 AM EST

It is never fun to know that you are being left out of something and that people are doing it on purpose. Even though we are all adults, being excluded from social events can make each and every one of us feel like we are back in middle school, being picked last in Gym.

When I first started my previous job, I entered a group dynamic of coworkers who were obviously very close to each other. They had all these inside jokes, shared experiences, and relationships that I had nothing to do with, and it was not easy to accept that I might never be a part of that dynamic. But you know what the hardest part was? It was when I learned that they all had a group chart, separated from the work one, where they talked during the day, gossiping and spilling tea about everyone else in the office. That was the moment I genuinely felt excluded. 

Thankfully, as I got to know them all, things got much better, even though they never added me to that group chat. I realized that while it can be nice to have friends at work, sometimes all they are ever going to be is coworkers, and that is completely okay. That is also the lesson the person who wrote this Reddit story needs to learn, as they feel upset about being excluded from a coworker's housewarming party.

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  • 01
    "[They] invited everyone but me"
    via Mikhail Reshetnikov
  • 02
    Staff member is having a housewarming party, invited. everyone but me
    via BlackCat2900
  • 03
    I'm an assistant manager at a small company. There's about 15 employees. I have a coworker that I've known for years. He always talks to me when we're at work, so I assumed we were cool, or friends even.
    via BlackCat2900
  • 04
    However, I found out that he's having a housewarming party on Friday. I had coworkers come up to me today asking if I'm going. I was confused about what they were talking about
    via BlackCat2900
  • 05
    since I didn't hear anything. Turns out, when he was inviting over half of the staff, he specifically told them " keep it in the down low, I'm not inviting certain people". Apparently, myself and another
    via BlackCat2900
  • 06
    coworker were the only ones not invited. I'm trying not to be resentful, but I'm hurt. Edit: he invited the general manager (his bff) and the owner, so it's not a management thing
    via BlackCat2900
  • 07
    Edit 2: I know coworkers aren't friends, I get that. But it bothers me that he's telling people "don't say anything" as if I'm not going to find out. I can brush it off, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me considering I work here 5 days a week.
    via BlackCat2900
  • 08
    Edit 3: the GM and myself are not on good terms. She's been avoiding me for the past 2 months (another story). I'm assuming since he's bff with the GM, that's why he didn't invite. me.
    via BlackCat2900
  • 09
    I was thinking about speaking to the owner about what's going on. Because their friendship is starting to cause issues in the workplace (Favoritism, unfair workloads between staff, letting
    via BlackCat2900
  • 10
    staff do what they want because they're "friends" etc) should I do it or not?? Edit 4: I KNOW COWORKERS ARE NOT FRIENDS.
    via BlackCat2900
  • 11
    mslauren2930 • 7h ago • I was specifically excluded from a farewell happy hour for a former coworker. My boss and office mate were both invited, I was not. It was like gc on grade school all over again. One more reason I'm glad I left that employer.
    via mslauren2930
  • 12
    You NeedCheeses • 6h ago I'm sorry. I know "coworkers aren't your friends" but it's hard not to take it personally in this kind of situation. I think it's r de of him to have invited everyone except only two people, surely he should have known it would probably come out.
    via YouNeedCheeses
  • 13
    OkComfortable 7993 6h ago • That's awful. Some people are mean for no reason. You'll never get an explanation for why you weren't invited. When things get awkward at work, know you aren't the problem.
    via OkComfortable7993
  • 14
    IntelligentJaguar103 6h ago • Honestly, that coworker sounds lame with no real friends outside of work. Work is work. It is not a place to find your friends!! I keep my work life and personal life separate.
    via IntelligentJaguar103
  • 15
    EightEyedCryptid • 6h ago • Oh man that hurts. Me personally I would ask him directly. If he is going to make it awkward by excluding people you can make it awkward by asking.
    via EightEyedCryptid
  • 16
    • giggles63 6h ago • Well at least some of the workers didn't attend when they found out you were excluded and guess what? It was probably a boring party so who cares, right??? As I got
    via giggles63
  • 17
    older I stopped worrying about people liking me, and concentrated on ME liking me. I felt so much better when I became the person I can respect and like and stopped being concerned with how others saw me. It's such a relief.
    via giggles63
  • 18
    Soggy_Boss_6136 • 6h ago • One of the things that I realized early on when I found out that 20 or 30 of my team mates were getting together for Twin Peaks parties, but I wasn't included, was that I was destined for Management.
    via Soggy_Boss_6136
  • 19
    • laneykaye65 6h ago • If you do talk to the owner about what's going on don't tie it to not being invited to the party because it might backfire on you as being vindictive. Keep it separate issues. Don't mention not being invited to
    via laneykaye65
  • 20
    mention not being invited to the party. In fact wait a few weeks after the party to mention the favoritism, unfair workloads and friend benefits issues. Otherwise it might be seen as payback behavior by you. Good luck!!
    via laneykaye65
  • 21
    IZCOMMANDO 5h ago. whew! That's one housewarming gift you won't have to buy. Silver linings
    via IZC0MMANDO
  • 22
    Much Essay_9151 • 6h ago • Welcome to management. It was one of the eye openers when i became an assistant manager. I noticed others making plans and i wasnt invited. Its lonely in management
    via Much_Essay_9151
  • 23
    G_espresso ⚫5h ago • He did not want to invite you. It's sus but it's not the end of the world.
    via G_espresso

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boss workplace-stories employee manager job tales-from-the-workplace coworkers invited reddit story ceo Party workplace Reddit company funny
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