20+ Corporate sayings that had employees rolling their eyes: 'There is no "I" in TEAM, but there is a "ME" in there'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 9, 2025 11:00 AM EST

Once you start using corporate lingo, you can't return to normal. It starts off innocently enough: you'll mention that you can "circle back to the issue," or you'll ask a coworker when a "good time to connect" would be without "interrupting their workflow". The first time you hear some of these phrases, you might roll your eyes, scoffing at the ambiguity these words convey. But the more you hear them, the more likely you are to use them semi-sarcastically. Then, before you know it, you're infusing these phrases into meetings and emails with full sincerity.  

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  • Perhaps there's power in the ambiguity of many corporate phrases. Sure, you could say “I've been slacking off at work and can't meet my deadline, so I'll have those documents to you by tomorrow.” But that'll just upset your boss; it's far too honest for the corporate world. Instead, just cloak your words in jargon and ambiguity: “Let's circle back to the project when I can verbalize the outcomes after seeking clarity with our team." Voila: your boss will think you're super smart, and totally not watching Netflix instead of typing out some boring report. Not only will you get more time for your project, but your corporate lingo will fool everyone around you into thinking you're a total smarty-pants.

    Up next, read about why this spouse is considering quitting their job since their wife is insisting on purchasing a 4th family vehicle. 

     

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10452169984
    via Ave Calvar For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I once got a work email that ended with: "Optimistically, I look forward to our shared and mutually-beneficial synergy." Reddit, what's the most ridiculous corporate-speak you've ever heard?
    via u/[deleted]
  • 03
    [deleted] "We're all about work/life balance but we have to work harder and longer..." I stopped listening after that
    via u/[deleted]
  • 04
    helpmebee Someone teaching you something is called a "knowledge transfer session."
    via u/helpmebee
  • 05
    jambon75 During a company presentation by our MD at the time: "The sky's not the limit when you sh ot for the moon..." F . Right. Off.
    via u/jambon75
  • 06
    [deleted] I actually had a funny one. In an elevator I was talking to a colleague "There is no "I" in TEAM, but there is a "ME" in there." This executive beside me starts laughing and asks to use that one in his next meeting... I told him that MEAT was in there too
    via u/[deleted]
  • 07

    Hold up, this is fantastic

    MyB UpDoll Going forward, we are building a new marketechture.
    via u/MyB***UpDol
  • 08
    [deleted] 3 years ago, during a company presentation, marketing spent the better part of an hour showcasing the virtues of their new "cloud" strategy. It was a clusterf of buzz words and technical expressions used out of context. We laughed.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 09
    Well . . . . the company was bought 2 years later because the buyer (a really large software company) wanted a cloud platform. On a separate note, it has always been a personal rule. of mine that if the speaker utters the word "synergy" then he officially has nothing of value to say anymore. It he does the little interlacing finger motions while saying it, it's my cue to GTFO.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 10

    If you say "verbalize" when you mean "talk," I'm tuning out

    What_the_Pie I work in advertising and while working on a fairly large project with many rounds of changes, this comes from the marketing director: "Please convert offer verbiage below to proper emotional driver
    via u/What_the_Pie
  • 11
    consumer branding tonality and vernacular of (Client)." That was verbatim. I have a print out of that hanging at my desk set in the font Apple Chancery.
    via u/What_the_Pie
  • 12
    YourAuntie Oh I just remembered. A girl at my company was told to "think outside your box".
    via u/YourAuntie
  • 13
    Xertz I was sitting in a taco bell and there was some regional manager training session going on in the booth behind me... I wrote down some of the things I overheard out- of-context "You need to give them the spirit" "You need to give them a piece of the rock" "| want to hear customer- mania stories" "I came in
    via u/Xertz
  • 14
    every morning and said 'Is everyone ready to rock and roll?' and they started calling me-- rock and roll!!!" "I want to say John, you look terrific" etc. At my work there is no shortage of corporate platitudes either: "Let me share this with you" "It's a New Day with our contractor" "We want to turn the page on ||
    via u/Xertz
  • 15
    not to mention the influx of asinine QC/lean BULLS acronyms and pseudo japanese terms and statistical methods that don't apply to our tiny production capacity and and and F
    via u/Xertz
  • 16
    EddieVolcano Someone said "De- professionalise" in a meeting the other day. Still trying to work that one out.
    via u/EddieVolcano
  • 17

    "Please advise" is so snarky in corporate speak

    Nicky4Pin I can't stand when people say "Let's sync up" and when they end an email with "Please advise"
    via u/Nicky4Pin
  • 18
    Slapn GT I was a long time employee of Best Buy. Their most overused phrase was "Learn from challenge and change." Which basically meant we are going to change rules and policies constantly so deal with it.
    via u/Slapn***GT
  • 19

    He's really problemizing this

    Fluxxedo My company uses "solution" as a verb. Most typically, "Well, we don't want to get too deep into solutioning in this session."
    via u/Fluxxed0
  • 20
    [deleted] "Can we put that in the cloud?" "Going forward..." "This is a living document..."
    via u/[deleted]
  • 21
    salzocow The hardware 'will be serverized'.
    via u/salzocow
  • 22
    bluejeenbaby Solutioneering. I kid you not. And various forms (lets be solutioneers), etc. One (high level) guy said it in a meeting and the next day it was in at least three emails by other people. Also, augment is really big this year.
    via u/bluejeenbaby
  • 23
    chief_running_joke Anytime "architect" is used as a verb. Just . . . why?
    via u/chief_running_joke
  • 24
    [deleted] I had a teacher that would give you detention for saying the word "proactive". He was so sick of all the bulls meetings the faculty had to attend that would usually promote this sort of speak. Yeah, they're good ideas, but maybe stop trying to paint it with those obnoxious words and just state what you mean.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 25
    accelebrate I've been getting a lot of "reach out to" lately. As in "If there are issues with the content from the vendor you should reach out to the IT group". How about "call Nathan"? That and anything that talks. about leveraging our assets.
    via u/accelebrate
  • 26
    Ciserus I sometimes attend meetings for a government organization. The CEO and the board chair are all about corporate-speak. One of their favorites a couple years ago was "on a go-forward basis," which means essentially nothing but is generally used in place of "in the future."
    via u/Ciserus
  • 27
    At some point since then, they've begun to shorten it to just "on a go-forward," as in "We'll be doing this on a go-forward," which isn't even a sentence anymore. They also like to throw the phrase "best practice" in randomly. These people can speak for five minutes and say nothing at all.
    via u/Ciserus
  • 28
    fully_doughy "If you have the bandwidth, we'd like your assistance on Project X in addition to your duties on Project T." Basically, "If you're available to help with this here project, please do." But they can't just say "available," no. They have to use technical language in a completely improper manner. Yep.
    via u/l***fully_doughy
  • 29
    Cheezburger Image 10452249600
    via Ngozi Ejionueme For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 30
    pablothe Anything with the word "Pivot".
    via u/pablothe
  • 31

    Let's retire this phrase forever

    Piratiko "Teamwork makes the dream work!"
    via u/Piratiko
  • 32
    headoverheals Back in the 90s when "quality" was all the rage, we had a branch meeting conducted by the head office quality guy. During the course of the meeting the office kiss a asked head office guy if we were ISO 2004 certified or trying to
    via u/headoverheals
  • 33
    obtain it. guy said, "I don't know, what is that exactly?" to which kiss a replied, "umm, I don't know either". I literally laughed out loud.
    via u/headoverheals
  • 34
    fah_cue i work in online advertising, and when people say the word 'verticle', i get annoyed. as in. "We do a lot of work in that verticle." It's a fancy way of saying "We do that sh."
    via u/fah_cue
  • 35
    [deleted] Any of it. All corporate speak is absurd. It's like the fluorescent lights fry the speech center of people's brains. I seriously don't get why people just can't talk normally while in an office.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 36
    360walkaway My organisation believes in three-dimensional third- generation options. Our upgraded model now offers integrated asset consulting.
    via u/360walkaway
  • 37
    Cheezburger Image 10452240896
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 38
    We need a more contemporary reimagining. of our balanced asset time- phases. We need to get on-message about our responsive strategic projections.
    via u/360walkaway
  • 39

    Just say you'll email it bro

    Fronzel I had a coworker that would constantly "broadband me a data packet"
    via u/Fronzel
  • 40
    Hello_Pity Let me know if the stars align so we can press play on it.
    via u/Hello_Pity
  • 41
    bposert I work with a PM that literally says "this coalesces the fruitful discussions that we've had over the last period of time." And uses vis-a-vis when speaking.
    via u/bposert
  • 42
    salgat I guess I should feel happy I work in a steel mill now. Most of the managers worked their way up from labor and would kick your if you talked like that. 120 a
    via u/salgat

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