'I seriously cannot imagine being filmed while going through a medical procedure': Woman tells dad's girlfriend she doesn't want to film her birth after girlfriend gets her a videographer as a gift

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 11, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Gifts from family members are always a toss-up. If they know you well, you run the risk of receiving a gift that they think would be perfect for you, while you have to sit there and be grateful for something you never wanted in the first place. If they don't know you well at all, you might have to force a smile for a gift that doesn't make any sense. It's best if the family just sticks to money or gift cards or from a specific list you've provided so they aren't led astray.

The worst possible outcome is a gift from a family member who doesn't have any of your best intentions at heart. This person shops with only their interests in mind, and you wind up stuck with a gift that causes more feelings of outrage than gratitude. That's what one woman is dealing with here, when her father's girlfriend, famously obsessed with Mommy vloggers, gifts her with a videographer to film the birth of her first child. Would you just say thank you and have the videographer film something else? Or would you reveal your real feelings to your family? After all, it is your firstborn child… read on to find out OP's plan of action!

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10453377280
    via Edward Cisneros
  • 02
    AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend that the gift she got me was creepy and invasive? I'm expecting my first child, due in February. This is the first grandchild on both sides, so everyone is very excited about it.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 03
    My father's girlfriend "Lena" (fake name) and I have an okay relationship, but we're very different people. I don't like most of the things she likes and vice versa. There's no bad bl d between us, but she can be a bit pushy sometimes, so we're not exactly close.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 04
    One of the biggest differences between me and Lena is our stance on influencer culture: she loves it, I don't. Since I got pregnant, she's been sending me posts on Instagram of random influencers talking about their experiences with childbirth, motherhood, etc.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 05
    A few months ago, one of her favorite influencers gave birth and filmed the whole thing. She posted a cutesy, poorly edited video of the baby being born and her entire family watching from outside the delivery room, with country music playing in the background. Lena sent me that video, and I remember telling her I'd never do something like that.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 06
    My husband and I celebrated Christmas at my cousin's place with the rest of my family. When it was time for us to exchange and open our gifts, Lena gave me an envelope.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 07
    Inside was a videographer's business card. She told me she was hiring him to film my birth.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 08
    I seriously cannot imagine being filmed while going through a medical procedure, and I don't want anyone besides my husband at the hospital with me. I've been clear about that since I announced my pregnancy.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 09
    I didn't want to embarrass Lena, so I thanked her when she gave me the card. Yesterday, my husband and I had lunch with her and my father, and I told her that while I appreciated the gesture, I didn't feel comfortable with a videographer. I said she didn't have to get me anything else for Christmas, but I'd appreciate it if she didn't hire him.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 10
    Both she and my father got offended, and we ended up having an argument. At one point, Lena started crying and said she couldn't understand why I'd pass up on the opportunity of creating such a "beautiful memento" of my child's birth. I replied that I found the idea of having someone film me during such a vulnerable moment to be creepy and invasive, and that this wasn't the first time I expressed I was uncomfortable with it.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 11
    My father said that it was r de of me to say that and refuse the gift, and he's "very disappointed" in me. My husband agrees with me, as does pretty much my whole family. I don't really think I did anything wrong, but my father's reaction is freaking me out. AITA?
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 12

    Here's what other Redditors had to say

    NTA DO NOT tell them when you are in labor and tell the hospital that both of then aren't allowed in the delivery room. I can see Lena whipping out her phone and if your dad don't got your back during a moment that is purely YOURS and your husband's, then he can wait outside too!
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 13
    Tell Lena to hire him to film her next pap smear as a 'beautiful momento' of her reproductive health and post that on her socials... Im getting much younger second wife vibes here....
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 14
    NTA, giving birth is very private and her opinion doesn't matter at all. It is also very creepy. Like would she and your father want to see the video? Just go LC with them for a while. And be careful, she might post pictures and videos of your child to social media without your consent.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 15
    NTA "Dad. Why does your girlfriend want pictures of me at my most vulnerable and showing my the world?" - to
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 16

    Whatever this means...

    As my "uncouth" BFF is fond of saying--"He's just trying to keep his parking pass to the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile Parking Garage." YES it's an invasive and super creepy gift. NTA
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 17
    NTA - "Sorry guys, but I don't want a recording of my being torn open for the family to see. Would you have wanted to see your mom like that?"
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 18
    What the holy h_I. 100% you are NTA OP. And, as a matter of fact, you handled the entire situation very properly - you thanked Lena in public but gently refused the gift in private. This is the way.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 19
    Your father is wrong and he is acting c*nt-struck in the bargain. Ignore him and now you know; he doesn't have enough grasp of social norms to understand that this 'gift' is pushy, overbearing and dictatorial. It's a shame that he's picking his bed warmer over his daughter & future grandchild, but I've seen this before.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 20
    Stay strong OP. If you hold. firm on this very reasonable boundary, hopefully this will nip a lot of Lena's nonesense in the bud. It's pretty clear that she's infatuated with what she sees online and will try to jam you into that mold, whether you want to or not. And your Dad is backing her up and willing to trample over your emotions and boundaries to keep her happy.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 21
    So sorry you are dealing with this OP. Ignore ignore ignore, please focus on yourself, husband and the new baby. And CONGRATULATIONS!! May your pregnancy be healthy, your labour be short and your delivery be easy.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 22
    NTA - You are completely within your rights to refuse this "gift." Childbirth is an intensely personal and often vulnerable experience. Lena massively overstepped by assuming she could hire someone to film such a private event without your consent.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 23
    It's okay to set boundaries, even if it upsets people. Your father is wrong to prioritize Lena's feelings. over your comfort and autonomy. You're not obligated to accept a gift that violates your privacy.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 24
    Make sure the nurses at the hospital know they aren't allowed anywhere but the waiting area when you go into labor. L&D nurses are fierce about that type of stuff
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 25

    Some Redditors tried psychoanalyzing OP's Dad's girlfriend

    Does Lena have any kids? It sounds like Lena has not ever given birth & has watched too many Hallmark movies. Why was she crying? Is she always overly emotional? I don't think she meant to be creepy. It seems like she has a very fictional idea of what childbirth is like. Perhaps you could use the gift to videotape your first day home after the baby is born?
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 26
    Some people do choose to videotape the birth of their children. However, that is a highly personal decision. I can't imagine anyone would ever want to see that movie. NTA
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 27
    NTA That IS creepy and invasive. "I don't understand why you don't want to be filmed screaming and your brains out on a table in a hospital gown!" Like, WHAT?!
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 28
    NTA. Giving birth is not a spectator sport. Lena can All The Way Off, along with anybody who doesn't respect your wishes in regard to your pregnancy and birth.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 29
    There is nothing in my memories of giving birth to two children that I'd want on film, until we were both settled and rested. The Nerve of some people <grumbles in old lady>
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 30
    I am sorry your father is so clueless about what you eould appreciate and what would creep you out. She seems pretty immature to start crying or could just be manipulative.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 31
    NTA. 1. The whole influencer gender reveal/birth video. sh is so weird. 2. You told her you didn't want this prior to her giving you this business card.
    via BirthVidThrow
  • 32
    I'd tell her if she didn't cut the sh you will ban her and your father from visiting at the hospital. In reality, my guess is she wants you to do a birth video so that SHE can share it and then comment on how this was her gift to you. This is why I hate social media obsessed people. It's never really about anyone else but themselves.
    via BirthVidThrow

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family drama aita AITAH married with children moms reddit story relationships influencer Reddit children
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