'I was stunned': Woman refuses to keep helping boyfriend with music career after he claims he could've done it without her, he accuses her of sabotaging him in response

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 17, 2025 7:00 PM EST

When your relationship starts to become serious, you'll notice that you find your partner's fingerprint in every single thing you do. You may be completely unaware of it while it is happening, but once that person becomes a big part of your heart, they also start taking big parts in everything else.

Think about your career, for example. How many times have you sat with your partner in bed and talked about an issue at work that you don't know how to handle? How many times have you given each other advice about what you should do to resolve those issues? They might even help you look for a new job, practice for job interviews, or for conversations with your boss. Their fingerprint is all over your workplace even if they haven't stepped foot in there. And that means they deserve at least a little bit of credit for all your success.

Some romantic partners offer even more help than the examples above, which means that they definitely deserve recognition for all their hard work. Unfortunately for the woman in the story down below, just because she deserves something, doesn't necessarily mean she is going to get it…

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  • 01
    "He accused me of sabotaging his career out of spite"
    via towfiqu barbhuiya
  • 02

    "AITA for not wanting to help my boyfriend with his career anymore after he downplayed my contributions?"

    My boyfriend (28M) and I (26F) have been together for three years. When we started dating, he was passionate about becoming a musician, but
    via Shazy_max
  • 03
    he was struggling to gain any traction. I work in marketing and social media management, so I offered to help him build a presence.
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  • 04
    Over the last two years, I created his website, managed his social media accounts, wrote posts, edited his photos, and even helped him network with
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  • 05
    people I knew in the industry. I also stayed up countless nights brainstorming with him and cheering him on when he felt like giving up.
    via Shazy_max
  • 06
    Things started to pick up for him last year. He got a few small gigs, which eventually led to a bigger opportunity. I was so proud of him and genuinely happy to see him succeed.
    via Shazy_max
  • 07
    The issue started last weekend at a party with his friends. One of them mentioned how "cool" it was that his music career was taking off. Instead of
    via Shazy_max
  • 08
    acknowledging my efforts, he smiled and said, "Yeah, it's all thanks to hard work and a little luck!" I was stunned but didn't say anything at the time.
    via Shazy_max
  • 09
    Later, I gently brought it up and told him it hurt me that he didn't even mention how much I'd supported him. He got defensive and said, "Well,
    via Shazy_max
  • 10
    I'm the one who's actually making the music. It's not like you wrote the songs for me." That comment hit me like a punch to the gut. I told him.
    via Shazy_max
  • 11
    I felt unappreciated and that it made me question why I was putting so much energy into helping him. He brushed it off, saying I was overreacting and making it about me.
    via Shazy_max

  • Not only was she there to support her boyfriend while he was trying to get his music career to take off, but she was actively working with him to get it to happen.

    As someone who worked in social media and marketing, I know how important it is for any business that wants to succeed. We all know that businesses today have no chance without an online presence, so I 100% believe that the girlfriend's contribution is just as important as writing the songs, and it is such a shame her boyfriend is too self-absorbed to realize that.

    Luckily, our girl boss didn't let another moment go by without ensuring he would realize it sooner or later.

  • 12
    Since then, I've been distant. He's noticed and asked why I'm not helping him with his upcoming project. I told him I don't feel motivated to help when my contributions
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  • 13
    aren't valued. He got upset and accused me of sabotaging his career out of spite. Some of my friends think I'm justified in stepping
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  • 14
    back, but others think I should continue helping him because "relationships are about supporting each other." AITA for not wanting to help him anymore?
    via Shazy_max
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10454657792
    via Nick_Picnic
  • 16
    lookingformiles NTA. He doesn't think your help was important so why would you continue it? How could you sabotage it - it's not like you're writing the songs now, is it?
    via lookingformiles
  • 17
    Philly Dilly Dee NTA. Hes showing you his true colors and letting his ego steer the ship. If hes this way with just a little success imagine how he will be if he ever "makes it."
    via PhillyDillyDee
  • 18
    CursesSailor See how he feels when his website, PR and marketing suddenly disappears. Bill him for the hours you worked. Then tell him how his royalties can go toward you re engaging your services.
    via CursesSailor
  • 19
    SepiaToneHitchhiker NTA. Why even continue dating him? He not only doesn't appreciate you, he doesn't even like you.
    via SepiaToneHitchhiker
  • 20
    Mummybearkh Tell him you can't sabotage something you have no influence over so if you did as little as he's saying then you have no control over his career
    via Mummybearkh
  • 21
    Aggressive_Cup8452 NtA. Why are you performing wife duties for a boyfriend? At least he already is showing you that at the end of the day your contribution. and hard work will most definitely be minimized.
    via Aggressive_Cup8452
  • 22
    SinisterCrazy NTA. It's not like you're his personal assistant, you're his partner. He needs to appreciate and acknowledge your contributions. Otherwise, he can hire a professional to do all that work for him.
    via SinisterCrazy

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