Bride rightfully refuses to change entire wedding menu for her future sister-in-law who has only been vegan for 2 weeks: ‘I’m standing firm’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jan 17, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Wedding planning might start off as an exciting venture, but most brides soon realize it is one of the most stressful periods in their lives. Also, it's not cheap. Every penny has a place, so finding a way to make your budget work within your wants and needs is essential to having a cost-effective and enjoyable wedding.

What is the best part about wedding planning, though? YOU get to choose the flowers, the chairs, the drinks, and the menu. Of course, it'd be great to have tens of different entrée options during your sit-down reception, but again—money. So, the best thing to do is to survey your guest list and ensure everyone can eat something off the menu that you're paying for. If someone has a "Eureka!" moment and decides to become vegan five months after you've finalized your wedding menu, that's not your problem.

In this next story, a bride-to-be explains that her future sister-in-law recently (2 weeks ago) became vegan. Her sister-in-law started to complain about the menu and how there were only vegetarian options available, so she proceeded to request a vegan meal be added to the menu. In addition, she even asked the bride to change her cake to a vegan cake. At this point, bring a lunchbox or something… The entitlement is real, but we'll let you read the entire story so you can see how this bride stands firm in her decision.

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    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

  • "AITA for Refusing to Cater to My Vegan SIL?"

    Making this post on behalf of my bsf's sister, who doesn't have reddit, but would like some outsider opinions. Before you get riled up and come [me], yes i have her for permission, she's sitting. next to me, fact checking as we speak.
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  • I (28F) am getting married in three months, and my fiancé (30M) and I have been planning the wedding for over a year. We've chosen a catered menu that we love, with a mix of options including steak, salmon, and a vegetarian dish.
    via peraltiag0stan
  • My future sister-in-law, let's call her Maggie (26F) has recently decided to go vegan. While I respect her choice, she informed me last week that the vegetarian option wasn't good enough because it
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  • has cheese, and she "can't eat anything on the menu." She demanded that I work with the caterer to add a fully vegan entrée just for her.
    via peraltiag0stan
  • ER
    via Unsplash (Wedding Dreamz)
  • She has asked me to change the cake flavor to a vegan one so that she can eat too. But obviously i shut her down before she could even explore this idea further
    via peraltiag0stan
  • I told her I'd already finalized the menu and signed the contract, so it's too late to make major changes. However, I offered to make sure there were plenty of vegan appetizers and sides available. She didn't
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  • take it well and accused me of being inconsiderate. Now my future MIL is involved, saying Maggie feels "excluded" and I should just add one
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  • vegan meal because "it's not that hard to accommodate her." But here's the thing-adding a vegan entrée requires renegotiating the contract and paying extra fees, which I'm not willing to do this close to the wedding.
    via peraltiag0stan

  • Aside from the fact that the sister-in-law's requests are completely entitled, they are also unreasonable. Curating a wedding menu is already expensive, but adding on a whole new dish to the spread would cost the bride more money than it's worth for one person on a vegan diet. Maybe the bride could request a single vegan dish, but even then, she'd be giving into her future sister-in-law's entitled wishes. It's the principle of the situation. 

  • My fiancé is on my side and thinks Maggie is being unreasonable, but his mom says I'm "starting marriage on the wrong foot" by not making the effort for family.
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  • I'm standing firm, but Maggie has been making passive-aggressive comments in the family group chat about how "some people just can't make room for others."
    via peraltiag0stan

  • The future mother-in-law's passive-aggressive pleas to change the menu, especially when the cost wouldn't be coming out of her pocket, make the situation even more complicated. Luckily, the bride's soon-to-be husband sees through his family's actions and supports her wholeheartedly.

    The group chat debacle seems a bit infantile for adults to be partaking in, but at the end of the day, the bride is standing firm in her decision, as she should. Commenters are reminding the bride that it is, in fact, her wedding. Not her future sister-in-law's or mother-in-law's.

  • edit: we live in a small town with a high population density and we only have ONE caterer who does large-scale events. spring weddings. are quite popular in this
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  • area, so there's at least 4 weddings lined up this coming season. the caterer's family has been in the business for decades, and 2 generations ago we had this really big fiasco
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  • between our families, which i won't get into now. it was super hard trying to get her to even do the catering for our wedding in the first place, bc some people still have
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  • underlying resentment apparently. when we eventually signed the contract, her and the team strictly emphasised that no changes were to be made after finalising.
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  • again, ours is not the only wedding theyre catering for, they are also making the cakes for some of the other weddings. due to these reasons, i didn't/am hesitant to contact the caterers
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  • edit2: the menu was finalised 5 months ago, she turned vegan around 2 weeks ago. we have a local vegan restaurant that i've seen her post about, and i was planning
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  • on asking her what she liked from there so we could get it specially for her on the day, but immediately when i told her that i wasn't able to contact the caterer, she
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  • got super mean and started sh talking to my relatives-in-law like some 7th grader
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  • artdecod... Oh no no no no no. If she doesn't accept the meal from the vegan restaurant, she can eat air. That is a more than reasonable compromise.
    via artdecodisaster
  • Availabl... NTA It's not your job to make sure there are plenty of vegan options for one person.
    via Available-Fail-8090
  • VinylHig... It's not her wedding
    via VinylHighway
  • sweetlberry NTA. Maggie turned vegan two weeks ago, not two years ago. Expecting you to renegotiate contracts and redo plans for a single plate screams entitlement. Offering vegan sides AND planning to get her food she
    via sweetlberry
  • likes elsewhere? That's above and beyond. Maggie can chew on her passive- aggressive comments instead of the appetizers.
    via sweetlberry

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family drama aita bride marriage vegans drama wedding planning wedding drama reddit story family feud sister in law wedding in laws mother in law entitled wedding cake vegan food reddit thread Reddit weddings entitled people
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