Woman's sister reveals to her about her infidelity, woman then tells brother-in-law about the affair: 'I couldn’t just sit back and watch Tom live a lie'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 26, 2025 6:00 PM EST

We've all kept secrets for our siblings. Whether that be covering for them when they sneak out of the house or fixing mom's broken vase before she gets home so no one gets in trouble; sibling solidarity is one of the firmest bonds we can have. That said, we've also all tattled on a sibling in a moment of weakness. Younger siblings are known to be the bigger tattlers since they remain in the light of our parent's affection for much longer. It's always an advantage to be the baby of the family, even if you're stuck at home the longest while everyone else gets to leave.

Once we reach adulthood, the instinct to tattle on our siblings mostly washes away. Sibling solidarity, however, remains forever. I know I would help my sister with anything, no questions asked. However, there are some things in life that are hard to forgive. One woman is in a tough position with her sister after her sister confides in her about her infidelity. She comes to Reddit to ask for advice after she reveals the family secret. Would you have spilled in this situation? Or is this a subject that's better left to the parties involved to deal with?


 

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  • 01
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    via Alicia Steels
  • 02

    "AITA for Telling My Sister's Husband About Her Affair?"

    I (29F) recently discovered something that has completely torn my family apart. My sister, "Emma" (32F), has been married to her husband, "Tom" (34M), for five years. They have two kids together, and from the outside, their marriage looked perfect. Tom is a great guy-kind, hardworking, and an amazing father.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 03
    A few weeks ago, Emma and I went out for drinks, and after a few too many cocktails, she let it slip that she's been seeing someone else for months. She told me it was "just harmless fun" and swore it wasn't serious. She begged me not to tell anyone, especially Tom, because she claimed it would "ruin everything."
    via NaomiFeather
  • 04
    I was stunned. I couldn't believe my sister would do this. I didn't confront her that night because I was too shocked, but over the next few days, the guilt started eating at me. I know how much Tom loves her, and I felt like he deserved to know the truth.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 05
    So, I made the tough decision to tell him. I reached out and asked to meet up, and when we did, I told him everything Emma had told me. He was devastated. He thanked me for being honest but said he needed some time to process it all.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 06
    When Emma found out I told him, she absolutely lost it. She screamed at me, calling me a backstabber and saying I've ruined her life. My parents are furious with me too, claiming I've "destroyed" our family and that it wasn't my place to interfere in Emma's marriage. They're all saying I'm the a**hole for betraying her trust.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 07
    But I couldn't just sit back and watch Tom live a lie. I feel terrible for the pain this has caused, but I also feel like I did the right thing by being honest. So, Reddit, AITA?
    via NaomiFeather
  • 08

    Here's what the commenters had to say about this whole mess

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    via Guenifi Ouassim
  • 09
    Gee, your parents are charming. You destroyed your sister's marriage?
    via NaomiFeather
  • 10

    Facts.

    NTA. Emma didn't just shoot herself in the foot... she handed you the gon and then got mad when you didn't hide it.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 11
    NTA - you're right, he deserved to know. We all live only one short life and no one deserves to live it with someone who is supposed to be their partner actually betraying them. Now he can begin the process of moving on with his life. You did the right thing and your family is bunch of hypocritical jackasses because I'm POSITIVE if your sister was the one being cheated on they would have reacted the exact opposite.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 12
    You're not the AH for telling Tom about the affair. It's understandable that your sister asked you to keep it. quiet, but ultimately, Tom deserves to know the truth. He's been a good husband and father, and the fact that Emma's been lying to him is unfair to both him and their family. Keeping that secret, especially when it involves betraying the trust of someone who loves you, would have weighed on your conscience.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 13
    I get that Emma is upset because you broke her trust, but her actions in having an affair were the ones that crossed a major boundary. Your loyalty should lie with truth and doing what's right, not keeping a secret that could destroy someone's life down the line.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 14
    It's also understandable that your family is angry, but this is a difficult situation, and sometimes doing the right thing isn't easy or popular. You didn't intend to hurt anyone, but you chose to protect Tom's right to know the truth about his wife, and that's not being an AH.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 15
    NTA, although I would have given her a choice. Either she tells him herself or you will. Now you're the bad guy. Your sister and parents are delusional. The only one who ruined the marriage is your sister.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 16
    Nta Really since when ur parents and the society around u is ok with cheating spouces. and would have been the same reaction if the roles had been reversed, they would have chewed the bone of tom if he did, I bet o it
    via NaomiFeather
  • 17
    Well we can see who's the golden child in your family. Your sister cheated but you destroyed the family. Actions have consequences. I really hate this "it's just it doesn't mean anything" views. Well it means something now when your husband is divorcing you
    via NaomiFeather
  • 18
    NTA. Your sister ruined her own life the moment she decided to cheat, not when you told the truth. Loyalty doesn't mean covering for bad behavior, it means doing. the right thing-even when it's messy.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 19
    I'm mean, if it was really supposed to be a secret, she wouldn't have told you, so it is only fair to just spread that information to certain parties that could valve knowing the information. So, nta.
    via NaomiFeather
  • 20

    There's some baggage here I fear

    Very bad to reveal a sister's confidences knowing that you will destroy their marriage. If you wanted to do good you had to convince her to leave the story. I would never speak to you again
    via NaomiFeather

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Tags

family drama aita reddit story relationships cheating cheater sister Reddit toxic relationship relationship drama
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