Man refuses to invite girlfriend on his “boy’s vacation,” she buys tickets anyway and demands he split the cost with her: “I’m not going to pay for something I didn’t agree to”

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  • 01

    AITA for not wanting to split the cost of a vacation with my girlfriend because I didn’t invite her?

    "You weren't even invited"
  • 02
    I (31M) have been dating my girlfriend, "Emily" (27F), for about a year. Things have been going really well, and we've been talking about taking a trip together at some point. However, this situation got a little messy, and now I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong.
  • 03
    A few weeks ago, I started planning a trip with some old college buddies. It's kind of a tradition for us to get together every couple of years, and this time, we decided on a destination abroad. We're splitting costs for accommodations, food, and activities. I didn't invite Emily
  • 04
    FRANCE NETHERLANDS= IRELAND BELGIUMI GREECE GERMANY SWEDEN== SPAIN UK ITALY
  • 05
    because this trip was already established as a guys-only thing, and I assumed she'd understand.
  • 06
    When I told Emily about the trip, she seemed a bit hurt but said she understood and hoped I'd have fun. Fast forward to last week, and Emily surprised me by telling me she booked tickets to join me on the trip. She said she figured she could do her own thing during the day while I hung out with my friends and we could spend the evenings together.
  • 07
    I was caught off guard and told her that wasn't really the plan. She said she didn't mind and wanted to be there since we've been talking about traveling together. Then she asked if I could split the cost of her accommodations since "we'd both benefit from her being there."
  • 08
    Here's where I might be the a**hole: I told her I wasn't comfortable splitting costs because (1) I didn't invite her, (2) this trip was never supposed to include her, and (3) I don't think it's fair for me to pay for something I didn't agree to. She got upset and said she thought
  • 09
    I'd be happy she wanted to join and accused me of being dismissive of her feelings.
  • 10
    She's been distant since then, and now I'm questioning if I was too harsh or inconsiderate. I love Emily and enjoy spending time with her, but this trip was planned as something separate.
  • 11
    So, Reddit, AITA for not wanting to split costs for a vacation my girlfriend invited herself on?
  • 12
    Ambroisie Cy • 12h ago this trip was already established as a guys-only thing, and I assumed she'd understand. See, this is a good example of assuming something
  • 13
    PASS BOARDING PA Name of the passenger JANE DOE From CHICAGO To 11:25 ume Seat 2A LONDON Gate Seat B27 Date 15 JULY 22A Boarding time 11:25 PASS BOARDING PASS Name of the passenger JANE DOE From To CHICAGO Gate LONDON Seat 11:25 ding time 827 22A Date Boarding time 15 JULY 11:25
  • 14
    being the right thing to do. For anyone reasonable, I would also assume they would understand. To me, that proves Emily is not someone reasonable. She wants to crash your trip with your boys and is asking you to pay for half of her cost? She is not just
  • 15
    unreasonable OP, she is delusional. And then this! The cherry on top. My favourite of them all. she accused me of being dismissive of her feelings.
  • 16
    What a marvolous joke! Was she looking in a mirror when she told you that? She is the one being dismissive of you. She doesn't care that she wasn't invited, she doesn't care that it's a boys-trip and she doesn't care that you would have to be with her every nights and not with your friends.
  • 17
    OP, that is not normal behaviour. Let's just create an hypothesis here and let's pretend you'd agreed for her to come. Trust me, she won't accept to have you just during the evening and nights. She will make you
  • 18
    feel bad for being alone during the day and your time with the boys will shorten and shorten with the days passing by. NTA
  • 19
    BlueGreen 1956 • 12h ago NTA Well, isn't little Miss Emily quite the entitled one? She "accused me of being dismissive of her feelings."
  • 20
    Trying to use emotional blackmail to get what she wants. She wants you to spend evenings with her ON A GUYS' TRIP? Does she know what a guys' trip entails?
  • 21
    Advice: Tell her she can go or not go, but you will NOT be spending any time with her. She will have to entertain herself.
  • 22
    BulbasaurRanch • 12h ago Her behaviour is wildly questionable. Like, stage five clinger red alert. No reasonable person would ambush their partners boys trip like this, but then have the gall to expect you to pay for it too.
  • 23
    And why would the boys trip only apply during the day? She expects you to leave. your friends each night, while they likely party in the evening, so you can see her? Yikes.
  • 24
    I would seriously reconsider my relationship if someone I was with pulled this batshit crazy move. Like, she's disturbed just for booking the trip in the first place and confirmed crazy when she thinks you should pay for it too.
  • 25
    NTA. Run dude. It's her first relationship, isn't it?
  • 26
    SockMaster9273 • 12h ago ΝΤΑ You told her you don't want her there. Why is she surprised when she hears it again?

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