Out of control stepmom confronts her husband's ex-wife in a Target because her mother-in-law gave her a 30th birthday present, demands she give the gift to her: 'She told me I'm trying to keep my claws in ex's family instead of accepting I'm an ex'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 21, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Here at Memebase, we're always talking about the crossed telephone lines of blended families; with so many adults and kids in a familial orbit, it's often difficult to keep up with every family member you're not required by law to interact with. Even if a family member is technically "not part of the family" anymore, the bonds they've built with the family they've split from can run deep. If your brother and his wife divorced, you might still be close with her and want to maintain the relationship you've built over the years, despite how he feels about it. When grandkids are involved, you're bound to want to maintain some connection with the other parent of your grandchildren, even if your adult child isn't the most amicable. The grandmother in this story tried to extend an olive branch to the mother of her grandchildren that she lost contact with, and her ex-daughter-in-law was punished handsomely for accepting it. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10457676544
    via Joshua Rawson-Harris

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my ex's wife to mind her own business when she confronted me in public over my ex's mom giving me a gift for my 30th birthday?

    I (30f) celebrated my birthday recently and my ex's mom stopped by to give me a very nice birthday gift. Ex and I have been divorced for 6 years but we have two kids together aged 11 and 9 so it was unexpected. I got along really well with his family when we were together and we're still friendly when we see each other but we were never close. When
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    ex's mom showed up with the gift she explained she wished we'd stayed in touch more and she wanted to honor the mother of her grandchildren and she wanted to show appreciation for all I've done. It was sweet and we spoke for a little while. The gift was sentimental in nature which made extra special to me.
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    It was a lovely gesture and I never expected it to cause any trouble but it did with my ex's wife. She confronted me in Target a week ago and started cursing and yelling at me for intruding in my ex's family. She told me the only reason ex's mom would get me a gift is because I'm trying to keep my claws in ex's family instead of
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    accepting I'm an ex. She demanded I give the gift to her or return it to ex's mom and refuse to accept anything in the future. I told her to leave me alone and I walked away. She approached me again as I was heading to pay. I tried to go around her but she put her hand on the cart and told
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    me I wasn't walking away from her again and I would stop being so meddlesome and stop trying to push her out of her family. She told me I was nasty accepting a gift from ex's mom and I had no business allowing something like that.
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    I interrupted her when she started to attract some attention and I told her to mind her own business and stay away from me because we have no reason to talk. I paid for my stuff and left before she could confront me again. The encounter ped me off but I was going to let it go. Then ex started texting
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    Cheezburger Image 10457697280
    via May Gauthier

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    me later in the week and he told me I needed to apologize to his wife because she's the stepmom to our kids and I shouldn't be treating her that way. I replied that I did not appreciate her behavior toward me in public and I would not be replying further. He told me I just needed to
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    apologize and I was out of order treating her like she was wrong to have her own feelings on this. He said I had damaged the co- parenting relationship between myself and them.
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    I know I could have ignored her. But I know apologizing won't fix anything because I still have and wear the gift, which was a mother charm bracelet. Ex's wife will insist I need to return or dispose of it to let this go. And I don't think I'm wrong for accepting it. I can accept I may have been wrong for speaking to her that way though. So AITA?
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    Cheezburger Image 10457697024
    via Ian Talmacs

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    lapsteelguitar She's allowed to have her feelings. What she is not allowed to do is tell OP what she will, and will not, do. I have to wonder why your ex's wife is feeling so insecure, what is happening in that relationship. You having a positive relationship with your kids grandparents is a boon for all concerned, mainly your kids. Don't let her disrupt that. ΝΤΑ
    via u/lapsteelguitar
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    alexandur321 NTA i mean she cornered you in a public space and caused a scene over a thoughtful gift you received for being a good mom. You don't owe her an apology for defending yourself against her baseless insecurity. If anything, your ex should focus on calming his wife down instead of enabling her unreasonable behavior.
    via u/alexandur321
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    New_Principle_9145 Here's something else, he didn't call her, he texted her this. Who's to say the wife didn't text her from his phone? That I would not put past her.
    via u/New_Principle_9145
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    Pockpicketts Tell him about the cursing, and that you have nothing to apologize about after she accosted you repeatedly in a public place. SHE is the one damaging the relationship, not you.
    via u/Pockpicketts
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    do2g How is any of this your fault? Ex should speak with his wife and his mom if he wants to get at the root of this problem. ΝΤΑ
    via u/do2g
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    Known Pirate2302 OP Clearly I'm supposed to reject anything from ex's family even conversation. Because who knows how his wife would react to seeing us talk in any kind of friendly way in public. She might have an even bigger outburst.
    via u/Known_Pirate2302

  • It might not hurt to get the mother-in-law involved in the conflict resolution. If she were to tell her son's wife that this gift has nothing to do with her or her husband, she might start to see the forest for the trees.

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    tappitytapa I would be shocked if the wife told your ex the truth. I would state that being confronted and assaulted in public is not a legitimate method of expressing one's feelings. Furthermore there is absolutely no reason to bring the kids into it or threaten their well-being. Your relationships have absolutely nothing to do with them. You expect all adults to keep this away from the children at all costs. If the wife has issues with her mil that is their problem to fix.
    via u/tappitytapa
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    Subjective_Box you might as well unbirth his children while you're at it. she doesn't need that stress in her life/s What does she expect you, make her husband virginal again? she didn't know he had a relationship before she married him?! I understand she's insecure, but her logic never entered the picture.
    via u/Subjective_Box
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    UsefulAd4231 • 18h ago How much do you want to bet that the mother- in-law doesn't like the wife as much as the ex? (Or at least that's how the wife sees it...) That's probably why she feels so insecure that it'd driver her to assault someone in public. I'll bet the husband doesn't know the truth about the situation either... The wife probably told him lies to make herself look better because that is absolutely unhinged behavior...
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    And did the wife just so happen to run into the ex??... And how did the ex find out about the gift?? Did the mil mention it to her?? Was it innocently or to purposely upset her because she doesn't like her?
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    I'd be interested in OP asking ex-mil how the wife found out and if she had any inkling that the wife was feeling insecure. Because the insecurity doesn't seem like it's just with OP but with the MIL too... And bonus points... Maybe MIL can talk some sense into her son enabling such crazy behavior.
    via u/UsefulAd4231
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    gandorfia Yeah, and if that's how the stepmom is acting I'd say you as the mother, and your ex ~as the father, have bigger issues on your hands. Bringing that kind of jealousy into a relationship where you share the responsibilities of raising someone else's children is detrimental, toxic, and eventually leads to contempt/ resentment. I'd say that stepmom needs to figure out her place and stay there. Her behavior sounds obsessive and almost as if she despises you for still having a good relation
    via u/gandorfia
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    Calm_Investment OP all this could be true. However I would seriously question if she told the truth to the ex husband. It sounds like there was a bit of exaggeration about what happened. I would state is detail that I'm not going to apologise when I was harassed, shouted at, chased,.etc. State exactly what happened.
    via u/Calm_Investment
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    Novel_Feed_9095 NTA the exs wife was out of line abs it non of her business what his mother does. And as for your ex he needs to grow a pair and tell her to bat iut. I'm sorry you have to deal with this situation I hope you update
    via u/Novel_Feed_9095
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    Known_Pirate2302 OP I'm not sure there'll be much of an update on my end. But hopefully they calm down soon and stop coming at me over this.
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
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    Sea-Still5427 NTA. You can bet she hasn't told him what really happened.
    via u/Sea-Still5427
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    Known Pirate2302 OP Likely not. Or she did and he's being as overreactive as her and just doesn't care that all I wanted was to be left alone.
    via u/Known_Pirate2302
  • 30
    LobabyChick That lady is out of control. I'm positive she told a highly skewed/edited recreation to your ex. Maybe ask Target for the video and use it for a restraining order. I would let ex know you are highly concerned about his wife's emotional stability and maybe you need to revisit the custody arrangements for your children's safety. Just to get his attention that his wife is truly batty.
    via u/LobabyChick
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    Known Pirate2302 OP I've seen this suggested a few times so I'll get in touch with Target and find out if this is possible.
    via u/Known_Pirate2302

  • Sadly, I highly doubt Target would release their security footage for a situation like this. 

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family drama gifts presents present birthday mother shopping stepmom wife gift husband exes ex wife mother in law family Target ex husband mom
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