29-year-old protests after dad and stepmom trick her into babysitting 3 half-siblings under 8: 'You don’t have kids, so it’s not like you’re missing anything'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 14, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

It has got to be an odd feeling watching a parent start over with having a family when you are a grown adult. You watch them do all the things they used to do when you were a kid, all over again, or even more trippy, see them do a complete 180 on their lifestyle and parenting style. 

It also puts you in the somewhat unusual position of being a sibling who is aunt or uncle age, and with that can come a lot more added responsibility than being an older brother or sister with a smaller age gap. Many parents love nothing more than having a free babysitter on call, and a kid who is in the right place to act as one can be like hitting the jackpot. 

Of course, just like any relative who is willing to provide childcare, it is important to be respectful of their time and generosity. Unfortunately, the complexities of the adult parent-child relationship can mean that moms and dads with younger kids shamelessly take advantage of their older ones in this regard. 

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  • three young children sit together on a wall
    via Nathan Dumlao

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One woman felt annoyed and used when she realized that she had yet again been put in the position of looking after the three young children her dad and stepmom had together. This time, she was especially annoyed as they had deceived her by inviting her out for dinner, then leaving her with the kids when she arrived at their house.

    Putting her in charge for five hours while they went out to eat, the incident led her to reconsider spending Christmas with them. She wanted confirmation that she wasn't being unreasonable.

  • I'm 29F. My dad remarried two years ago to a woman with three kids under 8. They're sweet kids, but every time I visit, I somehow become the default babysitter. This weekend, my dad called to "invite me over for dinner", but when I showed up, he and my stepmom were already dressed up, telling me they had dinner reservations and "wouldn't be long." Spoiler: they were gone five hours.
    via ImpressionPure3368
  • When I told him I didn't appreciate being tricked into babysitting, he said, "Well, you don't have kids, so it's not like you're missing anything." Now I'm debating whether to even show up for Christmas, because I can already see where this is going.
    via ImpressionPure3368
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    via Fatma Sarıgül (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters assured her that she did not have to take on that responsibility.

    Shadowedwolf89 NTA. You don't have kids, which means you're not responsible for the care of any of them. Next time leave. And if he really wants to push it, warn him that leaving children with unwilling caretakers is abandonment.
    via Shadowedwolf89
  • CuddleCupcakke Absolutely this, OP! You are not obligated to be their built-in babysitter just because you are child-free. Walking out next time will send a clear message that your time and boundaries need to be respected.
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  • Odd Substance_9032 Don't go, those kids aren't your responsibility, ever. You're just a free babysitter....tell them no or quit complaining.
    via Odd_Substance_9032
  • CuddleCupcakke Exactly this, OP! Your time matters too. They're taking advantage of you by assuming you're always available just because you don't have kids. Setting firm boundaries is the only way they'll stop.
    via CuddleCupcakke
  • BecGeoMom Yes. OP, you can't keep falling for the same trick and blaming your dad for it. You know what he's up to. He doesn't even want to spend time with you, his own daughter. He lied about having you over for dinner so he and his wife could go out for dinner without the kids. It doesn't matter that you don't have children. You do have a life, and he doesn't get to decided what that's worth. Stop going. Or show up with a date and say, "I can't stay long. We're on our way out. But I did want t
    via BecGeoMom
  • Manda_lorian39 I'd be more direct. Everytime they call to invite you over, ask whether they're asking because they need a babysitter. If they say yes, the answer is no. If they say no, accept. If that's a trick again, then stop accepting. And when your dad starts complaining the answer is "I don't have kids, so how I choose to spend my time is up to me. I chose to spend it with people that want to spend time with me rather than use me as unpaid labor. Your (step)kids are your responsibility, not
    via Manda_lorian39
  • Intelligent_Read_697 Your father told you exactly what he thought of you so why are you even considering going back?
    via Intelligent_Read_697
  • cubemissy From now on, you can't trust invitations from your father. Every dinner offered, your response should be something like "I can't babysit tonight, sorry."
    via cubemissy
  • Hairy-Dream4685 Or if you show up and they try to pull the same sh, say no and walk right back out the door.
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  • Truckerbarr I would have left and said you dont trick people into babysitting. You ask them. Let them cancel their plans.
    via Truckerbarr
  • iamadirtyrockstar I would have walked out the door to go have dinner with them. "Oh, you made reservations for dinner, let's go!" "Oh, well they don't include me? Weird because you invited me for dinner? Oh, well maybe next time then, enjoy your evening!" Then turned around and walked my happy a out of there.
    via iamadirtyrockstar
  • GroundbreakingPast31 The next time he calls to invite you over, tell him "No thanks, I already have plans." and keep up that energy. NTA.
    via GroundbreakingPast31
  • Tarzankitty NTA Tell him that he is correct. You don't have kids. His wife has kids. It is her responsibility to care for those kids. Even on weekends. If and when you do choose to have your kids. Then, you will be spending your weekends with kids. Until that day comes. Your weekends will be spent relaxing, managing your own chores, hanging out with friends and dating.
    via TarzanKitty
  • Glum Airline4017 Send them an invoice. $20 per child for 5 hours.
    via Glum_Airline4017
  • HelpfulMaybeMama Explain that if you wanted to spend your weekend watching kids, you would have had your own. Instead of using deceit to get a sitter, they should pay for one. That's what you do when you need someone to watch your children. What you don't do is lie to your adult child and don't lie to your 3 minor children/step children. Don't raise your children by teaching them they should lie to get what they need. you And make sure they're aware that you will contact the police and CPS if th
    via HelpfulMaybeMama
  • IIVIIORTAL_K Nta, this is so disrespectful. I would have turned around and left if i had walked in on them getting ready after they lied to get you to babysit. Id be willing to bet they also didnt offer you any monetary compensation even after 5 hours. Next time they want a date they can find an actual babysitter and pay them.
    via IIVIIORTAL_K
  • Any_Store_9590 Just ask what resteraunt you are going to meet at from now on.
    via Any_Store_9590

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family drama aita babysitter siblings stepmom babysitting dad family reddit thread Reddit half siblings entitled people
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