26-year-old stepdaughter accuses her dad's wife of being illiterate after she took a month to fill out her dad's FMLA forms: 'You know you’re illiterate so let me just do the paperwork'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 26, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Far more adults in the United States are functionally illiterate than you may realize. 54% of US adults have a literacy rate below a 6th-grade level, and about 43 million are functionally illiterate. Being functionally illiterate doesn't mean you don't know how to read at all. It means you have a literacy rate that makes dealing with everyday situations and most jobs difficult. For instance, if you can get through a paragraph but can't summarize what it's about or remark on its content at all, you might be functionally illiterate. 

Illiteracy is a huge problem that cannot be solved quickly. As the television show What Would You Do taught me, nothing good comes from shaming somebody for not knowing how to read well. The woman who posted this to Reddit clearly didn't see that episode because she struck an incredibly low blow with her stepmom after she failed to fill out FMLA forms for her dad. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10433366528
    via Blake Cheek (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for calling my dad's wife illiterate because I suspect that she is?
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 03
    My (26F) dad (50M) has been with his partner Ann (55F) for about 15 years. She had a really sad and rough upbringing (drug addict parents, foster care, didn't graduate HS) and we've never really gotten along.
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 04
    My dad recently had a back injury and told me that he was on paid medical leave for month. But I learned from my grandma that he actually only took 2 weeks off using his remaining sick days and PTO. He went back to work once that time ran out despite the fact that he was still having severe back pain.
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 05
    I went to visit him right after my grandma told me and confronted him about lying to which he said he didn't tell us because Ann was handling it/ working on his FMLA paperwork. As we were talking, she came out and told me to leave it alone and said something like "you're not the only one who knows how to do this stuff, I promise I've been filling out forms since before you were born"
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 06
    It's a known suspicion on my dad's side of the family that she's functionally illiterate, but no one ever talks about it when he's around. Her FB posts and texts never make sense and read like they're being spelled out by someone who is learning how to sound out letters. For instance, "our" is always spelled "are", "great" is "grat", etc. I've seen that she pretty much exclusively uses the voice typing feature, and has Siri read all her texts. When he was a teenager, my brother got in huge troub
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 07
    We're not close so I obviously don't know whether she's actually illiterate. I checked in with them yesterday, two weeks after Ann told me to leave it alone, and asked how the FMLA paperwork was going. He said that he's feeling better so he's just going to keep working. But he was walking fully hunched over last time I saw him. I asked my dad to put Ann on the phone so that she could tell me what was going on.
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 08
    Ann said that this wasn't my business but if we were really concerned we would just give him money to support them so he can stay home. I honestly blew up after that and said "it should not take you a month to fill out a few forms. You know you're _ illiterate so let me just do the paperwork".
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 09
    They hung up after that and my dad hasn't talked to me since. I feel bad for using her struggles as an insult because I know that it's probably a huge insecurity, but the fact that she's not taking this seriously is bld boiling. I feel like the bluntness was warranted but I still feel bad. AITAH? TLDR: I called my dad's partner illiterate because she won't let me help fill out his FMLA forms following a back injury.
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 10
    Kris82868 Info-Why doesn't you dad fill out his own forms?
    via u/Kris82868
  • 11
    ImaginaryPark6311 Right? I took FMLA 2 times in 23 yrs. One of those I almost di d. On one, I just went to HR, provided the Dr's note and it was a done deal.
    via u/ImaginaryPark6311
  • 12
    The other one was after my company was absorbed by a much larger company that had a massive HR department at their HQ. It was all done over the phone. Not so hard.
    via u/ImaginaryPark6311
  • 13
    OkGazelle5400 This. It isn't because Anne is illiterate, it's because something else happened and they're keeping quiet about it.
    via u/OkGazelle5400
  • 14
    Educational-Hope-601 I work in a doctors office and the patients don't even have to fill out the paperwork. They drop it off and then the MAs and their doctor fills it out for them.
    via u/Educational-Hope-601
  • 15
    happybanana134 ΥΤΑ. I don't see why your dad can't fill out his own forms tbh, or why the two of you seem to believe it's Ann's responsibility to do this for him. If he'd rather work than sit down and fill out a form, that's his choice to make. If you suspect Ann needs help, you can easily offer help without insulting her.
    via u/happybanana134
  • 16
    NoFace2A Ann wants to do it herself read it again.
    via u/NoFace2A
  • 17
    LavenderGwendolyn I don't think Ann can do it herself, no matter how literate she is. It's paperwork filled out by a doctor and signed by the patient which is then turned into HR at his job. Perhaps the disconnect here is that Ann doesn't know that it's for the doctor and doesn't understand the questions or prompts.
    via u/LavenderGwendolyn
  • 18
    AppropriateMoment834 She did offer and was basically told to mind her own business, Here's the thing, you can't get a nasty attitude and then suggest the person give you money. No mention of her working, maybe she should get a job.
    via u/AppropriateMoment834
  • 19
    llamadramalover Where exactly does OP say they offered before their nasty "you're illiterate" comment?? Having a conversation and confronting their father isn't an offer to do anything. It's just a conversation.
    via u/llamadramalover
  • 20
    thegoatmenace The entire point of his post is that he wants to do the paperwork for his dad. He's not making Ann do it. He has asked multiple times to be allowed to fill out the forms. Ann is the one being stubborn about doing the forms herself.
    via u/thegoatmenace
  • 21
    ToughShit89 Wait lemme get this straight. YOUR dad needs FMLA paperwork completed for HIS job for HIS injury. YOUR dad is not functionally illiterate, because otherwise you would have said so, and is able to complete the forms on his own, likely much easier than Ann if she actually IS illiterate, but YOUR dad is not completing HIS forms because HE "doesn't want to" handle HIS own adult responsibilities. But somehow, this is Ann's fault? Did I get that right?
    via u/ToughShit89
  • 22
    Remote-Physics6980 I don't know about Anne being functionally illiterate. I voice note exclusively, and rarely misspell something. Something is very fishy here.
    via u/Remote-Physics6980
  • 23
    llamadramalover Right?? They're mad at Ann for 'not taking this seriously'. But NOT mad at their DAD for not taking this seriously WHEN. ITS. DADS. PAPERWORK. You need to seriously adjust yourself OP. Your dad is a grown a man who should be able to fill out his own paperwork, you need to stop blaming Ann for his choices and frankly stop being such an unpleasant little witch over things that are not actually any of your business. These are your father's decisions, he doesn't actually owe you any
    via u/llamadramalover
  • 24
    Timely_Fix_2930 Are you under the impression that FMLA will let your dad take paid leave if he does not have any paid leave remaining? Because it does not do that. If he needs to go back to work because he needs the money, then that's what he is going to do. FMLA would prevent them from firing him while he was gone, it doesn't make them pay him.
    via u/Timely_Fix_2930
  • 25
    If he has already used up his sick days and he needs to go to work for the sake of income, what do you want FMLA to do here? (Edit: Yes, this depends on the company and state, but it does not appear to be paying in this situation based on what OP is saying.)
    via u/Timely_Fix_2930
  • 26
    AnybodyDazzling9703 OP No not at all—he's used up his sick time and PTO so FMLA would prevent him from getting fired if he misses any more work. It'd be unpaid but at least he would still have a job.
    via u/AnybodyDazzling9703
  • 27
    blueswan6 YTA it sounds like you and your brother have always been trying to catch Ann out. It is possible that she can't read well, it's also possible that she has undiagnosed dyslexia. Regardless, you and your brother seem to have never handled this well and with kindness or else she may have opened up to you by now. You should have just spoken privately with your father and asked if he'd like you to fill out the paperwork. If he declined you should have just left it at that. Your dad isn't a
    via u/blueswan6
  • 28
    Oddly-Appeased My thoughts went straight to dyslexia as well. My husband still spells things similarly and he was diagnosed in elementary school. Though forty years back they didn't know much of how to deal with dyslexia.
    via u/Oddly-Appeased
  • 29
    GullibleWealth750 YTA. Being illiterate is not a character flaw. Being a j is.
    via u/GullibleWealth750
  • 30
    Pocket_Pixie3 My cousin was extremely dyslexic. Like, could barely read and write. She used the early Speech to Text. My mother in law is also very dyslexic and does the same. YTA It's because of shame and you guys talking her that she doesn't ask for help. Like, for about sake dude, she is trying. Your dad should step up and be a man and do his own paperwork. He's the one you should be mad at.
    via u/Pocket_Pixie3
  • 31
    Bittybellie Literally. She probably wouldn't ask for help because she knows it'll just make the family gossip more
    via u/Bittybellie

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dyslexia family drama stepmother reading work stepmom reddit story misspelling dad family reddit thread daughter Reddit spelling illiterate Father Mean People
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