30+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (January 25, 2025)

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 25, 2025 9:00 AM EST

What a week it has been for the website formerly known as Twitter. But no matter how crazy things get, Tweeters are going to do what they do best, dance while the world burns. Twitter can often feel like the string quartet that played on the Titanic as it sank. (By the way, is that true? No wonder they made a movie out of it, that's cinematic as heck). 

The ship may be sinking and tragedy is all around, but that's not going to stop us from hearing some beautiful music on the way out. The world may be shifting and changing (sometimes for the worse), but we're still going to get in our pot-shots from the cheap seats. We're still going to chuckle at each other, make dumb jokes, and turn everything into a GIF. It's kind of the beautiful thing about the internet. 

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  • 01
    Jeff Richards ❤ @jrichlive McKinsey consulting fee: $978,000 unusual_whales @unusual_whales. 21h Walmart, $WMT, unveiled a rebranded logo, and updated their brand identity. Before: After: *
    via Nathália Rosa

  • You can count on it to be irreverent, funny, and dumb, no matter the context around it. It can be relied on for one thing and one thing only. This week's roundup of tweets is no different. It's full of asinine jokes, crackpot ideas, and stuff that just makes us laugh. So get to scrolling and enjoy the way down. 

  • 02

    Please release me

    ☑ memes.xlsx ❤ Memes @ExcelHumor can they shut down Teams instead of tiktok 8:20 PM 1/13/25 1.1M Views 80 1 4.2K 29K 372
    via @ExcelHumor
  • 03

    Bro already lost the game

    J. @jtothet My poetry teacher said due to my dyslexia I would probably fail her class. But I've already made 2 vases, 2 ashtrays and a bowl. 5:47 PM 1/14/25 33K Views • 83 149 1.6K 37
    via @jtothet
  • 04

    Always be prepared

    East Village Guy @eastvillageguy Packing for a 2 day trip like I'm gunna sh my pants 3 times and go swimming 7:01 PM 1/15/25 1M Views • • 45 1 601 17K ☐ 421
    via @eastvillageguy
  • 05

    Must... put... it... on

    Appalachian Caliph @AppCaliph This sh whispers to 20yo white guys like the green goblin mask BURGER KING
    via @AppCaliph
  • 06

    The temple keeps strict hours

    real ILLUSION m @PRADAXBBY 7am: my body is a temple COLLAGEN 7pm: the temple is closed RECLOSEABLE Nerds Gummy Clusters 802 rainbow 12:56 PM 1/15/25.9.6M Views 277 127K BEN&JERRY'S Half Baked 318K 9.2K ↑
    via @PRADAXBBY
  • 07
    WHERE IS THE HORSE GONE THINK? ringworm @prawn_meat T is basically the last great letter before the alphabet completely goes off the rails . 6:02 AM 1/14/25 1.3M Views 332 4.1K 71K ☐ 2K
    via @prawn_meat
  • 08
    Billa Genny Cream Male @COAbrah I love Wolf Blitzers entertainment set up. 32-In 420p TV with the DVD and CD player on the ready. Absolutely no notes. Wolf Blitzer @wolfblitzer .7h I'm very happy. #GoBills! AMIN LEVY colors drawings 15-MAR HAIS 4:34 PM 1/12/25 2.7M Views DEN 93 7 BUF 31 4 0:30 35 4TH & GOAL SHARP อ CBS NFL AFC WILD CARD
    via @COAbrah_
  • 09
    Big Jay Shooke @JShooke Imaoooooo they kicked me off the jury for this Big Jay Shooke @JShooke • 1d I don't know how much I'm allowed to tweet about the trial I'm sitting on, but at risk of a mistrial, the assistant D.A. prosecuting it is *smoking* hot 10:35 AM 1/15/25 856K Views 102 17 540 21K 621
    via @JShooke
  • 10
    aqre @axqre hang in there fellas, only 345 days until Christmas 6:26 PM 1/14/25.565K Views
    via @axqre
  • 11
    Feral Pawg Hunter @FeralPHunter all men want is to constantly annoy one beautiful woman 3:06 PM 1/14/25 1.5M Views 99 173K 36K ☐ 2.9K 企
    via @FeralPHunter
  • 12
    Sid Seixeiro @Sid Seixeiro I had to triple check this was real. It is. The Australian Open on YouTube, due to rights issues, are getting around them by replacing real players with Nintendo Wii Sports Tennis characters. I think I love this. И ки ки SINNER (4) JARRY 3 From Emiliano И MELBOURNE 10:31 AM 1/14/25 1.2M Views 86 17729 FLY BETTER FLY BETTER AO CC ΛΟ 11K ☐ 971 企
    via @Sid_Seixeiro
  • 13
    TheGodzilla Dude @TheGodzilla Dude The only thing stopping you from beginning a drawing practice is fear. Fear that you'll discover the artist within. Full Ba • 6:15 PM 1/30/24 1.1K Views 1 273 17 企
    via @TheGodzillaDude
  • 14
    Dionne Warwick @dionnewarwick Big who the what??? iman, the scorpio. @imantheescorpio • 1d how do i explain my playlist going from bigxthaplug to dionne warwick??? 7:53 PM 1/13/25 6.1M Views . 479 10K 107K 4K 企
    via @dionnewarwick
  • 15
    Richard" " Williams @burrow_burner9 Insanely busy day tomorrow. S M T W T F S 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 9 AM Monday - Jan 13, 2025 Wake up Crank Hog 10 AM 09:30AM-12:30PM 11 AM Noon 1 PM 2 PM 3 PM 4 PM 5 PM Lunch Fortnite 1-6PM 6 PM 7 PM 8 PM DoorDash $200 worth of Wingstop 06-7PM Crank Hog 7-8PM Today Calendars Inbox
    via @burrow_burner9
  • 16
    قرد D لوفي @s400yyd At 21 young years of age I've achieved what a lot of ppl take 70 years to achieve: - shoulder pain - back pain - knee pain - hip problems 9:50 AM 1/12/25 4.5M Views • 252 17 35K 262K 6.3K ↑
    via @s400yyd
  • 17
    Jeff Richards @jrichlive McKinsey consulting fee: $978,000 unusual_whales @unusual_whales 21h Walmart, $WMT, unveiled a rebranded logo, and updated their brand identity. Before: After: Last edited 3:06 PM 1/13/25 1.1M Views 205 17 2K 30K 509 ↑
    via @jrichlive
  • 18
    burner account: not rell @rellyrich10X I bought like 10 turtlenecks so I wouldn't have to think about what to wear to work every day. During a meeting, someone just asked "do you have any updates Steve Jobs?" I'm going to HR 10:49 AM 1/13/25 1.9M Views 546 9.1K 114K ☐ 2.7K ↑
    via @rellyrich10X
  • 19
    @pussiblood tf is LA gonna do with $38??? POP Pop Drug @zPopDrug. 1d Katy Perry had donated all the revenue she has made from her album "143" to the victims of the California Fire! B 8:53 AM 1/12/25 8.7M Views • 857 1 13K UMPE 308K ☐ 5.3K 企
    via @pussiblood
  • 20
    gm bfa agonistes @superloafcat I sold state KOHL'S secrets for Cash 11:24 AM • 1/12/25 ⚫ 1M Views 25 17 2.2K 49K ☐ 1.1K ↑
    via @superloafcat
  • 21
    crazy insnane guy @ohnoidontkno I think therapists should all be a lot harder on people and tell them things like "you need to grow up" and "your own actions are making your life worse" 5:01 PM 1/11/25 2.4M Views 819 17.8K 109K 4.5K ↑
    via @ohnoidontkno
  • 22
    Juicy ⭑ @AddictKE Dudes be having the worst day of their life and still keep sending memes to their homies like nothing happened. 10:44 AM 1/11/25 2.1M Views 347 10K 70K 2.7K 企
    via @AddictKE_
  • 23
    Rhine Stoned Cowboy @Bisque Boi creating a Hater Sports App where you can add players you don't like from any sport to a list and you will be alerted via text whenever they commit an error, foul, turnover, etc 6:54 PM 1/11/25 300K Views 81 17627 11K 418 I
    via @BisqueBoi
  • 24
    Beffe/acc✪ EXTROPO @Based BeffJezos "LinkedIn is OnlyFans for middle managers" 6:10 PM 1/10/25 12M Views 462 17 2K 10K ធ 1K
    via @BasedBeffJezos
  • 25
    Moniza Hossain @moniza_hossain Finding out no one in the US knows Robbie Williams is really messing with my head. What else do you guys not know? Do you know S Club Seven? 2:13 PM 1/14/25 786K Views 718 1871 12K 348 企 Most relevant replies ✓ Moniza Hossain @moniza_hossain. 2d Do you guys at least know the spice girls? Please tell me you know the spice girls > 80 1737 1.2K ill 50K ☐ 1
    via @moniza_hossain
  • 26
    Dr Sean Travers @seanjetravers Instead of texting ‘on my way' I'm just gonna start sending this 2:42 PM 1/15/25 6.1M Views 282 21K 274K 20K 企
    via @seanjetravers
  • 27
    Zaza Man @Zazamyodor I was 7 thinking 2025 was gone have flying cars mfs selling 1996 Hondas for $7,800 3:14 PM 1/15/25 1.8M Views 257 1 11K 71K ☐ 1.3K ↑
    via @Zazamyodor
  • 28
    NO HA Need a Revolutionary Blackout ☑❤ @SocialistMMA I'm quickly discovering how nobody is better at roasting Americans than the Chinese Chinese-give us your American jokes. Please make fun of us so we can laugh. M 1 days ago 2968 comments Say something... 千芸 نكا why do you eat like ur healthcare is free 8045 Yesterday 19:06 Reply 9:49 AM 1/15/25 4.8M Views 659 17 18K 226K 8.1K ↑
    via @SocialistMMA
  • 29
    juno → @KILLMUTTT *surprising my wife who likes greek mythology* me: babe i have a surprise for you gf: omg what is it me: i got syphilis! gf: *crying* me: *opens front door* hey man you can go home... guy pushing boulder up the driveway: its okay i dont think i could get it up there anyways 1:59 PM 1/15/25 1.7M Views 104 19.8K 144K ☐ 6.2K ↑
    via @KILLMUTTT
  • 30
    Merriam-Webster Merriam- Webster @MerriamWebster This is a post about animal excrement and the English language. bull$#!% = nonsense/lies chicken$#!% = petty or cowardly horse$#!% = nonsense/lies dog$#!%= low quality ape$#!% wild = bat$#!%= crazy Ordered above from oldest to newest: bull$#!% (1914), bat$#!% (1971). 10:58 AM 1/16/25 52K Views 49 488 1.8K ☐ 171
    via @MerriamWebster
  • 31
    MIDWEST vs. OPE. EVERYBOD Midwest vs. Everybody ❤ @midwestern_ope Is everything okay in Wisconsin? CADAMS PEACE ON EARTH AND WISCONSIN IF POSSIBLE 7:45 PM 1/16/25.48K Views 48 1754 995 ☐ 22 企
    via @midwestern_ope
  • 32
    Kristen @Kica333 I'm currently doing this challenge called January. Where you just try to make it through every day. of January. 5:15 PM 1/16/25.72K Views 52 17673 4K 55 ↑
    via @Kica333
  • 33
    Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTwo How do I explain to my 19 month old that a seahorse doesn't say "neigh?” • 4:36 PM 1/31/24 40K Views 250 27 84 763 ☐ 5
    via @MumOfTw0
  • 34
    big diesel @JustBoysLaughin I'm eating sandwiches you haven't heard of in jeans you can't pronounce 11:28 AM 1/11/25 4.9M Views • 143 1 7.7K 86K ☐ 3.5K
    via @JustBoysLaughin

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