25-year-old boyfriend's close relationship with a coworker makes woman uncomfortable, breaks up with him because of it: 'I didn’t want to be with someone who made me feel that way'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 9, 2025 1:00 PM EST

There are going to be moments in your relationship where your commitment is tested. Maybe you suddenly have to go long-distance. Maybe you learn something about your partner that would typically be a deal breaker. If your love is strong enough, these obstacles are simply obstacles, and you and your partner can move around them.

One of the trickiest situations to encounter in a relationship is the person in your partner's life that "you don't have to worry about." Maybe it's your partner's best friend, an ex, or a coworker. If you're a jealous person, these people can really test your patience. And if your partner is a flirtatious person, it's hard to ignore when someone else is blessed with the light of their affection that you assumed would only be for you. When you get to that point, you have to figure out if your jealousy is getting the best of you or if there truly is an issue and you want to be treated differently. One girl faced that issue when her boyfriend started getting really close with a coworker, so she broke up with him because he didn't make her feel assured. So when he starts telling people their break-up was mutual, is she right to correct him?

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    RACER DXRACER
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  • 02

    "AITA for correcting my ex when he said we had a mutual break up and making things awkward?"

    I (25F) and Evan (25M) had been dating for a little over two years. We have plenty of mutual friends that we hang out with a lot and I thought that everything was going great with us. We did not live together but the topic of considering doing so was something that started to come up during the last months of our relationship.
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  • 03
    ago The thing is, around four months he got a new job and quickly became really close to one of his co-workers. He would constantly bring her up so much that I told him that we should all hang out but he'd just say "nah, she wouldn't want to she's kinda shy" or "she's busy this weekend." I
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    or "she's busy this weekend." I thought: okay fair, but did clock that it was kind of weird. So at first it didn't bother me too much because I was glad he was getting along with his new co- workers, but then I noticed that he had started to text her a little too much. Like, every time we were spending time together his phone was just going off. I had
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    phone was just going off. I had even caught him smiling at his phone when he was doing so and I knew that it was her he was texting because when I'd ask "who's that?" he wouldn't even look up at me and just say her name. Elle.
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  • 06
    It was one of those times that he was texting her that something just snapped in me and I decided that it was not something I was going to tolerate. I am a sort of jealous person, I'll admit that, and he knew that. I'd also like to think that I'm not an irrationally jealous person, but the way he just seemed so different and excited to talk to/about this new friend was just too much for me. So I
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  • 07
    was just too much for me. So I told him straight up that his friendship with her was making me really uncomfortable and that it felt like it was more than just a regular friendship. He rolled his eyes and said that it wasn't his fault they had so much in common and that I was being insecure. Perhaps I was, but after
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    insecure. Perhaps I was, but after going back and forth with him for a while I told him that I didn't want to be with someone who made me feel that way and we broke up.
    via Zealousideal_Board89
  • 09
    Now, fast forward to a week ago. It was one of our friend's birthdays and we all got together to celebrate. I had seen him at these outings with our friends since the break up and we didn't really speak other than a 'hey', so it wasn't too weird for us to be in the same room. (Okay, it sort of
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    the same room. (Okay, it sort of was for me.) Except this time when he came hand in hand with a girl and introduced her by the name that I knew so well (Elle) I laughed. I couldn't help it. I was so hurt but at the same time felt so validated that I wasn't being crazy. He just shook his head and said something like "C'mon don't do this, it's been months and we both decided to break up mutually. Am I not allowed to move on?"
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    That REALLY annoyed me and I just said "Uhm, no. I broke up with you because I didn't believe you when you said Elle was just a friend and clearly I was right." I could tell he was mad that I said that in front of everyone and Elle looked uncomfortable, but I didn't care. The conversation quickly moved past the awkwardness and the rest of the night was great. I did apologize to
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    night was great. I did apologize to the birthday girl who I'm super close to, but she said she didn't care and instead just made me tell her everything, lol.
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    I thought that was that, but earlier today Evan texted me saying that I was f ed up for making things awkward for him and his new girlfriend. That some of our friends are refusing to welcome her with open arms and that some are even referring to her as "the girl Evan cheated on myname with."
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    Now, I'm not sure that he really did cheat on me, at least not physically, but the fact that I was right and there were feelings there that were more than just friendship make me feel validated and I refuse to correct our friends or to try to smooth things over. So, AITA?
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    Nta. I would have just texted him back like, "If you hadn't lied, then I wouldn't have had to say anything. Please never contact me again. I really don't care about your new gf and have moved on."
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  • 16

    People in the comments all agreed: this girl was NTA.

    YOU
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    Then just block him. Out of sight out of mind. It's up to your mutual friends how they want to handle things gs going forward with him and elle.
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  • 18
    Just ignore them and don't stoop to any drama. You have told your truth, and that's it. Just focus on yourself and the frie ds who matter and leave him in the dust.
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  • 19
    NTA. He tried to make you look petty and immature by lying and saying it was a mutual breakup. All you did was set the record straight after he lied. However your friends are treating him and his new chick are the consequences of his own actions.
    via Zealousideal_Board89
  • 20

    Let's be real, we all love the drama.

    NTA. The only one I would have worried about was the birthday girl but she seems to love the drama so great job. You don't owe it to him to pretend the break up was about something it wasn't.
    via Zealousideal_Board89
  • 21

    One person gave this girl a little therapy session.

    I think maybe you're less. jealous than you think you are. Or at least approach and understand your feelings in a reasonable and rational way.
    via Zealousideal_Board89
  • 22
    Someone who had very bad unfounded jealousy issues would have flipped out the second they realised he was talking about a female co worker. You didn't do that. You were happy he made a friend and invited her to hang out! That isn't the behaviour of a jealous partner, it's the behaviour of a supportive partner.
    via Zealousideal_Board89
  • 23
    You stopped supporting it when you realised his behaviour was inappropriate. You were then proved right and didn't let him skate over his bad behaviour when he tried to. You sound like a reasonable person, but one that has respect for themselves. I think you dealt with this admirably.
    via Zealousideal_Board89
  • 24
    Even if you have had jealousy issues in your past, you're self aware enough to know it and aren't allowing that to be what dictates your feelings. People much older than you don't have that much self awareness. I say good for you! Absolutely NTA.
    via Zealousideal_Board89
  • 25
    NTA. Your response was great and it was honest. It's not your problem if people dislike how he, at the least, emotionally cheated on you.
    via Zealousideal_Board89
  • 26
    Just because he lies as easily as he breathes doesn't mean you owe it to him to do the same. NTA.
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  • 27
    NTA - he was emotionally cheating at a minimum and if there is one thing cheaters. hate is being exposed. You can tell by Elle's reaction she feels guilty as well so very well done in my opinion.
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  • 28
    You didn't bring it up, he did by making that statement of a mutual breakup. So he can pound sand as far as I'm concerned Glad some of your friends are not open to accept a cheater as well.
    via Zealousideal_Board89

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aita ex boyfriend reddit story relationships cheating breakup reddit thread Reddit relationship drama
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