Guy calls his sister out for wanting to have more children when she is in financial duress, family says he is being insensitive: 'I think it's irresponsible to have more children when you can't support the ones you already have'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 9, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Let's get real for a minute. It's a tough world out there. Icecaps are melting while Florida gets snow for the first time, maybe ever. Eggs cost more than meat. The Chiefs could win another Super Bowl. As the Black Eyed Peas highlighted in their masterful piece "Where Is The Love?" off their 2003 album 'Elephunk,' it feels like people aren't there for each other these days when we really need them to be. Taking all that into consideration, it could give someone pause about bringing a new baby onto scorched earth. More and more people are speaking up about the environmental impact of having children and what it would be like to be childless, and they are considering their financial means as a factor when thinking about having kids. 

All of this is to say that you should strive to give your children a happy life, and if you are struggling to make ends meet, it may not be the best environment to bring new life into. One person tried to have this conversation with their sister when she brought up having another kid while being under financial duress. This person's family was not ready to hear what they had to say, but it's an interesting topic for us all to consider as we go forth into our ever-changing world.

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    via Zachary Kadolph
  • 02

    "Am I guilty of saying no one should have children if they can't provide for them?"

    I was at a family lunch when my sister-in-law mentioned that she wants to have another child, even though she already has two and can barely pay the bills. I said something like, 'I think it's irresponsible to have more children when you can't support the ones you already have.'
    via Sotilrac_
  • 03
    This led to an awkward silence, and then several people started attacking me, saying that I was being insensitive and that "children are a blessing, not a financial issue." My mother said I was being elitist and that not everyone has perfect conditions, but they still deserve to have a family.
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  • 04
    I believe that bringing children into the world without guaranteeing a minimum of stability is unfair to them. But now I'm feeling a little guilty for saying it out loud. Was I an idiot for expressing my opinion?
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  • 05

    People agreed with this man's line of thinking, but maybe not with him saying it outloud.

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    via corrynewooten
  • 06
    If you can't adequately care for, look after, provide for and support a baby until they are at least 18 years old then you should really consider your options in not having a child. What little government support there is may vanish in the stroke of a sharpie. Think on.
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  • 07
    Nta, you're right people shouldn't have kids if they can't afford them.
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  • 08
    NTA. She has 2 already so she's got a family. More is not better if they in a situation. Anyone who says different are just either dumb or privileged.
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  • 09
    NTA so many kids have a life because selfish people put their desire to reproduce above what their kid actually needs Let's normalize being vocal about that
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  • 10

    Case and point.

    Mmmmm.....logically correct statement, socially inept presentation.
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  • 11
    Are you guilty of saying so? Yes. Does that make you an AH? No. NTA.
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  • 12
    Yes, unexpected pregnancies happen, sometimes without recourse. But blatantly planning another one when you know you cannot support yourself and your family is a very different thing.
    via Sotilrac_
  • 13

    One commenter "pre-schooled" this man.

    I use this with my kids: THINK before you speak. T: is it true? H: is it helpful? I: is it inspiring? N: is it necessary? K: is it kind?
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  • 14
    My oldest is pretty blunt. When she was younger, I told her she wasn't allowed to say it at all unless it met at least three of these criteria. I also told her the fewer the criteria, the more negative the response. So if your comment only hits two or three of these, you'll get a more negative response from others than if it hits all five. Doesn't mean you're wrong - just means you'll receive some fallout.
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  • 15

    Truth hurts.

    You know, you can be right, and an a h le at the same time.
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  • 16
    YTA. It's not about whether you believe it's true or not. Have some tact; some thoughts are inside thoughts.
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  • 17
    No, you're correct. Bringing kids into the world you can't provide for is irresponsible.
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  • 18
    H I, it's irresponsible to get a pet you can't adequately provide for and if the worst comes to the worst at least you can rehome those. It's not like you're telling her to never have kids, she has two already!
    via Sotilrac_
  • 19
    Then I hope you support reproductive rights....especially if you're in the United States.
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  • 20
    People have kind of lost the art of asking themselves, "Does this thought need to be said right now and by me?"
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  • 21
    YTA. You are 100% correct in what you said, but that doesn't make it acceptable. You were shockingly critical of your SIL — both her judgment and her financial situation in front of family. You shouldn't need Reddit to tell you that was an AH move.
    via Sotilrac_

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