Maid of Honor gets ‘demoted’ 3 days before the wedding over $150 after she spent tons more on planning, demotes bride from bestie to bridezilla: ‘I did not attend her wedding’

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Feb 4, 2025 10:00 PM EST

You big day is getting closer and closer! The stress if feeling more and more intense. What do you do to relieve some of those nerves? Well, that's why it is important to have those closest to you in your bridal party. That is their duty as you bridesmaids and best friends—the maid of honor especially! When the bride starts to panic, the maid of honor is there to tell them everything is going to be alright. Just like they would in any life situation, because they are your good friend. So, you should be treating them with the same kind of compassion and empathy. 

 

So when a bride turns on their maid of honor, that's definitely grounds for being deemed a bridezilla—and all-around bad friend, tbh. In this case, the maid of honor dished out tons of cash, planned great parties for her bestie aka the bride, and did everything she could to make sure her friend/the wife-to-be was happy. And yet, the bride was still not satisfied. Just a week before the wedding, the bride told the MoH that she was going to need to drop over a hundred dollars more for things like hair, makeup, and lodging…

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    via Unsplash+ (and nikki gibson)

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    Can you believe that? Only a week before the big day! The MoH, who had already spent tons of cash, and is tight on funds, told her she can't afford that. She only had $300 in the bank at the moment and that would really clean her account out. The bride was furious. The MoH still tried to compromise with her, to at least get a cheaper route, but no. Instead, the bride demoted her from MoH. Like, how mean-girl! The now-ex MoH was so hurt, she decided to not even attend the weeding. 

  • "My Friend decided to demote me from maid of honor 3 days before the wedding"

    Where to even begin with this. About a year ago I was asked to be my friends Moh for her wedding that was scheduled for Feb 1 of this year. I want to also preface this by saying that I'm a college student still and the bride just graduated in December. Recently I have planned her bachelorette, gone to her bridal fitting, gone to her bridal shower, and wrote a speech for her wedding. As well as paid for her bridal gift and partially paid for her at the bachelorette since her fiancé and mother and
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  • volunteered to cover that in part. A week before the wedding she let us know that we were required to pay for our own hair and makeup that was going to cost 150$ and that I was also going to need to spend 40$ on a hotel the night before the wedding. This was all told to me the week before, or last week. I had a problem with this and asked her if I could simply stay at my place the night before and wake up early to head over to the venue or hotel. I had only received a
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  • paycheck the week before for 240$, so at this point I only had a little over 300$ in my bank account. She asked if she could call me, and had a very frustrated tone saying that it would only be 20$. I responded with that I could do that but the hair and makeup was going to be a struggle, since I was low on funds. I explained to her that my mom is a wedding planner and that typically the hair and makeup is optional or if it's not it's paid for entirely by the bride's family. I also explained to h
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  • ask my parents for money because of it, in which she said "I know it's uncomfortable, but I would do it for you". In my head the difference was that I would not have required her to pay the hair and makeup fee in order to be part of my wedding. I then asked if it was possible to pay for just hair and make my makeup look as similar as possible to the other girls. She said no and then said that she did not want to argue and asked, "are you paying the 150$ or not?" in which I responded, "I guess I
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  • A couple of days later she texts me and asks if I have a chance to talk, in which I promptly reply yes. She calls me and says she has reconsidered my request about paying only for the hair and said she had decided to let me do that, but that she thought it was best that I wasn't maid of honor anymore because I sounded stressed and busy on the phone. Obviously, this hurt my feelings and I was in complete shock, as I had not indicated that I was stressed with anything but money. She said she had
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  • discussed with the mother-in-law and others who told her there were more responsibilities to being maid of honor, such as cleaning up afterward. I then responded that I was fine with doing that, but If she did not want me as maid of honor anymore that she was entitled to that. She then replied with "Thank you, I hope you know we're still good friends" and that she was looking forward to spending time with me at the wedding still. I was shocked and confused. Later on,
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  • I realized that that was not ok to do to someone who you consider your best friend, and I wrote her a text saying in so many words that I thought she was not being truthful with the real reason she demoted me from Moh. She responded a couple of hours before the rehearsal dinner and said that there was stuff that had happened over the past couple of days which made her think that was the best decision for her wedding. In which I responded that I was not present over those past couple of days. She
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  • responded with "I Understand". I did not attend her wedding, which she also "understood". Sounded like she didn't want me there at all after the call we had discussing finances. I am utterly confused and hurt. Is this normal behavior and who else has had a similar experience?
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  • Brilliant-Peach-9318 I'm glad you chose not to attend the wedding. This doesn't sound like a friend at all. Plus_Data_1099 She used her for a good hen party then got rid of her op you did the right thing not going she is not a good friend at all
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  • kellylovesdisney Weddings bring out the worst in some people. I'm so sorry she ended up being friend.
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  • sikonat If it's that small amount of money then why isn't she paying for it since it's her wedding and she's imposed hair and make up
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  • SweetWaterfall0579 Ding! Ding! Ding!!! "OP, I had *no idea you were overextending yourself for me! Ofc I'll pay for your hair and makeup! You've done SO much for me! The shower and bachelorette, school and work and just, everything. I would hate for you to go into debt for one day! It's about. celebrating love, not making my bestie destitute."
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  • Any-Mulberry6028 She sounds classist from how you have it detailed.. Recent-Media8939 OP Except her family struggles with money and my family doesn't. Maybe she thinks I'm obligated to ask for money since my family makes a decent living?
    via Any-Mulberry6028
  • TravelDaze I do not consider it normal behavior, but it's becoming all too common. It was absolutely inappropriate to spring $190 worth of "required" expense on you at the last minute. And neither of those costs should be your responsibility if she is demanding the services vs you opting to book them. Seems like it was her loss, and I hope you are able to move past the sadness soon.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Wonderful-Opposite97 My issue with weddings is that the ppl hosting them should pay for them, you shouldn't require your guest to pay a fee to basically attend a wedding you could not afford. Sounds like "your friend" couldn't afford her own wedding cost and acted like an a
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  • Super_Rule 1895 Absolutely agree with this point. I don't understand asking someone to be apart of the bridal party or groomsmen and asking them to pay for their outfits. I got married and paid for everything. The only thing that I didn't pay for was their shoes and accessories. I don't get it. It's your wedding day you pay for it. Expecting your friends to spend ridiculous amounts on dresses/hair and makeup on top of shoes, hotel rooms, bachelorette parties, bridal parties and then buy you a gi
    via Super_Rule_1895
  • Walmar202 A dimension of a Bridezilla. You did the right thing. She is not a true friend.They are merely acquaintances that pretend to be friends
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  • DubiousPeople Pleaser So did she just use you with the intention of always dumping you before the wedding? The_Sanch1128 That was my impression. She set you up, then brought in the "performance" MOH. Reminds me of something that happened to me in theater many years ago.
    via DubiousPeoplePleaser
  • Beginning-Shame0 Good on you for not caving to her bu ying. I faced all of those expenses at only two weddings in which I was part of the bridal party. At my wedding, I married at 30, my husband and I, with help from our parents covered almost everything, even a bridesmaid's luncheon (as opposed to a bachelorette party. It's my experience and belief your MILand you are correct, I'm so sorry you found out your "value" to her in this way. Excellent response not showing♥♥
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  • Hulla_Sarsaparilla Weddings should be about having those people you're closest to around you, sadly they've descended into who can pay the most. Sorry your friend showed her true colours and lost her mind over wedding planning, you did nothing wrong at all. Good for you for stepping away from the madness x
    via Hulla_Sarsaparilla

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