Stepmother threatens to rescind college fund after 17-year-old refuses to share a room with his 8-year-old stepbrother during Christmas vacation: 'My stepmother told me if I didn't apologize I could forget my dad helping me pay for college'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 9, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

When you're a kid, sharing a room with your younger siblings is one of the worst things you can possibly endure in your young life. They're annoying, loud, sticky, and especially when you enter your teen years, you really just want nothing to do with them. I'd imagine this increases a few fold when they're your stepbrother, who you really have nothing in common with.

When this 17-year-old went on a vacation during Christmas with his family, he found out at the last minute that he was going to have to share a room with his 8-year-old stepbrother. His grandparents offered him an out from this annoying torment, giving him a private space in a spare room in their adjacent apartment. This promise of reprieve was disrupted when his dad and stepmother then got involved, worried that the younger would be afraid to stay on his own. 

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    "A week after we got back my stepmother told me if I didn't apologize I could forget my dad helping me pay for college because my attitude didn't get rewarded."

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The teen refused to budge, ignoring his parent's protests, which resulted in a surprisingly enjoyable vacation for a teen boy with his family. But, the trouble began for him when the family returned home and his parents blamed him for the fact that his stepbrother had been unhappy for the entire trip. This somehow escalated to his stepmother threatening to withhold his college fund because of his “attitude.”

    The frustrated teen shared his story with this online community, appealing to readers to see if he was in the wrong and asking for readers' advice to check and see if there was anything he could do about the situation.

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    'AITA for not apologizing to my stepbrother for "abandoning him" on our Christmas vacation?'

    For Christmas my grandparents and my dad and stepmother brought us all on Christmas Vacation. We stayed in an Airbnb and while we were there I (17M) was meant to share a room with my stepbrother (8) while my stepsisters (12, 9 and 6) shared a bedroom. My dad didn't tell me I'd be sharing before we left. My grandparents had a spare bedroom in their "apartment"
    via Flaukendonndi
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    which was next to the house we were staying in and they offered it to me. My dad and stepmother said no. They told them my stepbrother would struggle in a room on his own and I should stay in the room with him. But I took my grandparents up on their offer despite my dad and his wife's protests. They tried to ground me on vacation if I didn't but staying in my grandparents apartment space was worth it and I just stayed in my room and slept and ate with my grandparents. It was great.
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    We were there for 9 days and when we got home my dad told me I owed my stepbrother an apology. He said I knew my stepbrother was struggling on his own and I selfishly put my own wants before him. He said it cost me nothing to share the room. He said the bed was nice and I'd have my own space in there even with him sleeping in the room too.
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    My stepmother was annoyed my grandparents overruled her and dad. They fought after we all got back. My grandparents told them I was old enough to get my own space when it was available and that I wasn't a babysitter or my stepbrother's keeper.
    via Flaukendonndi
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    A week after we got back my stepmother told me if I didn't apologize I could forget my dad helping me pay for college because my attitude didn't get rewarded. Then a few days after that my dad told me to make it up to my stepbrother.
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    Another few days later my stepbrother said he didn't like vacations and he didn't want to go anywhere again. My dad and stepmother blamed me. The older girls were pred at their brother and bu ied him for saying that. I was blamed for that too.
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    I still haven't apologized and I don't regret what I did and I told my dad. I said I'm nobody's babysitter. He told me I might not be a babysitter but as an older sibling I should do a better job of caring for my younger siblings feelings and be there during stuff like that instead of abandoning them like I did my stepbrother. He said it builds a relationship. Then he told me if my mom were alive she'd be so disappointed in me just like he was. He said for a kid who used to beg for siblings I su
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    AdventurousSoup5174 NTA, . 5h ago I would tell your grand parents what your step-mother is saying about education. They may have your back in a big way. Text I have a friend who was basically robbed by his parents as they took out loans in his name. When word got around to the grandparents the will was changed to exclude the parents entirely and send everything down to the him (only child).
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    • Tarzan... 5h ago Edited 3h ago NTA If your dad's wife's son is uncomfortable sleeping alone. Then, he should be in a room with his mom. If your dad pulls college. financing over this. He should be de d to you as soon as you get out of his home.
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  • 12
    routineflu 5h ago NTA. You didn't abandon your stepbrother; you took an opportunity for your own comfort and space, which is reasonable for a 17-year-old. Your dad and stepmother's expectations and guilt trips are unfair. You shouldn't be forced to apologize for prioritizing your own needs. Their reaction and threats (e.g., withholding college financial help) are manipulative and controlling.
    via Flaukendonndi
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    AdReasonable6803 ·5h ago NTA. Your dad and stepmother tried to emotionally blackmail you into being their free babysitter, and when that didn't work, they pulled the classic "your de d mother would be disappointed" card, because guilt-tripping is apparently their love language. You're 17, not a
    via Flaukendonndi
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    built-in emotional support animal for an 8-year-old they refuse to parent properly. And withholding college money over this? Petty as h I. Stick with your grandparents; they're the only ones treating you like a person instead of unpaid childcare.
    via Flaukendonndi
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    Agoraphobe961 · 5h ago Top 1% Commenter NTA. You are not stepbro's emotional support animal. How much of the college fund is from your mom's life insurance or savings? You may want to ask your grandparents or relatives on your mom's side if there was anything left directly to/for you.
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family dynamics teens family drama stepmother aita AITAH kids teenagers blended family siblings stepchild moms family feud parenting family pregnant reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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