Parents force 17-year-old son to attend family therapy with them, leading him to admit he doesn't think they are good parents, they take offense: ‘You went too far’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 11, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Sometimes we push people who are dear to us to be completely honest with us, without ever realizing what complete honesty actually entails. We tell ourselves that we want to know what is bothering them and that we need to fix it, but we do not prepare ourselves for the possibility that we are responsible for some of their problems. Then, after we practically force our loved ones to confess their true feelings, instead of viewing it as a reality check for ourselves, we accuse them of being insensitive or even tell them they are wrong.

With parents, these kinds of interactions happen far too often. Parents hate being criticized by their kids, they hate being told what they are doing wrong, even though they are the ones who push their kids to admit those feelings to them. So then we have a vulnerable kid who only tried to be honest with their parents, and parents whose ego has been hurt, but refuse to do anything to fix the broken situation with their kids.

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  • That is roughly the situation between the 17-year-old son and his parents in the story below. After years of complicated interactions with his parents, the teen is now attending family therapy with his mother and father. This led the tired teen to admit his feelings about his parents' ability to, well, parent, but they were not happy, or particularly willing to listen to their son's confession.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story, and let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

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    via SHVETS production

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for saying I don't think my parents should've had kids and I don't think they could ever be good parents in a family therapy session?"

    I (17M) have been attending family therapy with my parents for the last six months. We always needed therapy, like 1:1 therapy and not family therapy, but my parents never saw that.
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • Instead they see it as we need family therapy to fix the relationship and that's possible without doing anything else because there are no personal problems
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • making our family a trainwreck. But that's not true at all. I think my mom has some undiagnosed mal illness. I don't know what. I'm not a
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • doctor or an expert so of course I can't know for certain. But my mom is the most erratic person I know. She's super controlling of everything around her from me and dad to the house.
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • Everything has to be done her way and she's very organized and strict about how things should look or where they should be. When I was younger homework was the worst part of my day because she insisted I do it in
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • a set place, at a set time and I had to sit and finish before I could use the bathroom or get a drink. I wasn't allowed to need help because I was told I should know. She would also look over the
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • work my teacher corrected and she'd get mad if I got one answer wrong or if I made a mistake that she felt was me being sloppy. Dad and I had to do our chores at
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • the time my mom set and we didn't get to take breaks. A few times we went on vacation with family members and she'd try to control them too and set the schedule for everyone.
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • She's also really paranoid. She hated my best friends grandma, who was raising my best friend, because his grandma said I was a great kid and she loved having me at their house and that I was
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • so polite and stuff. My mom saw his grandma's compliments as her wanting to steal me away from her and dad. My second grade teacher brought up the trouble I had
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • with spelling and my mom was convinced the teacher had it out for her and was accusing her of being a bad mom because the teacher suggested I get some extra help with spelling. She even filed a complaint against the
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • teacher saying she overstepped and implied her parenting was failing and that she believed the teacher had a personal grudge against her. I was there when they spoke and the teacher
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • literally just pointed out I needed more help with spelling. My mom wanted me to move classes and she ignored any more contact from the teacher and made my dad do it too.
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • She's also convinced my bosses were trying to drive me away from the family because they were sending me home with leftovers to share and teaching me stuff about baking during quiet
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • hours at work. Like she straight up put $25 worth of baked good in the trash because she believed it was a bad sign from my bosses. I feel like my mom does. nothing but berate me while
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • she also comes out with some weird stuff. Her emotions are all over the place too because she could yell at me. But if I sigh in response or if I say okay after being yelled at she'll cry and ask why I hate her.
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • My dad had a pretty messed up relationship with his dad and he's repeating that stuff with me. His dad wasn't interested in him so there are days he'll get really aggressive about us spending time together and
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • he'll be practically yelling at me to kick a football around with him or go someplace or whatever. It's always been that way. It used to scare me how angry he'd get about it. But on the flip side when I
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • would seek him out he'd tell me to give him some spare or he didn't have the time. He forgot my birthday 5 different years and never acknowledged it. He was never willing to help me
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • with homework. He'd say it wasn't his job to and I should ask my mom and when I'd say she didn't believe in helping he'd say I should follow her rules about it.
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • Cheezburger Image 10466136320
    via Fangirl

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • He also complains like all the time about how much money I cost him. He never hides that stuff from me and I know his dad used to do that to him as well so you'd think he knows how it makes a kid feel but he doesn't seem to care.
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • I'm pretty sure I have some kind of a iety and de ession because of everything. Stuff is way harder for me than it used to be and there are days I don't know why I bother. There's also the thing of me not
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • trusting my parents anymore. Our relationship basically stopped a year ago and I was avoiding them. They quickly noticed and tried to make family time a priority but I resisted and then they said we needed family therapy. I
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • asked for solo therapy and they said no. They said no to the family therapist when she suggested solo therapy to begin with. Instead they talk about wanting us to be closer and
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • to fix everything and how they never expected to be the parents with a teenage kid who doesn't even speak to them anymore. They talked about trying their best and mom has said I always
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • had issues with them even as a baby I seemed to resent them. They also got highly critical of me in several sessions and it reached a point where the therapist had to intervene and asked them
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • to consider what they were saying and why they thought that way and felt that way. The other week we had a session and the therapist made my parents stay quiet
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • longer than they normally would. She asked them to give me more time to speak and she asked some questions and some were even about if I wanted to be there and what I'd like to get
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • out of the experience. But at one point a question came up where she asked me if I had anything to get off my chest. To really bring home the problems between us and that's when I said I didn't
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • think my parents should've had kids and that I didn't think they were capable of being good parents. After therapy my parents accused me of going too far with those comments and it
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • came up in the next therapy session and the therapist challenged them and told them they should have waited until the next session. But they said I went too far and can't take back what I said.
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • came up in the next therapy session and the therapist challenged them and told them they should have waited until the next session. But they said I went too far and can't take back what I said. The problem is I meant every word of it. AITA?
    via Beautiful_Way1987
  • Semper Paratus12 NTA. Therapy is a place for honesty or there's literally no point.
    via Semper_Paratus12
  • Whatever 1967 NTA, and if you can save money to move out as fast as possible once you are 18 - maybe it's possible for College? And then start saving for therapy...that sounds like
    via Whatever_1967
  • one h 'I of a family to grow up with. It seems as if the question is no "What went wrong?" But rather "What went right?".
    via Whatever_1967
  • Next-Wishbone1404 I don't understand why parents make their kids go to therapy and then get shocked by what their kids say. Um, if you don't want to know, don't ask. NTA.
    via Next-Wishbone1404

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