‘I’m sick of the favoritism’: 17-year-old son scolds parents for forgetting his birthday after years of living in adopted brother's shadow, parents take offense

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Feb 16, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Parenting is about providing the next generation with the tools they need to excel in life, and then those same children can pass on their knowledge to their children and so on. When a parent gives preferential treatment to one child over another, they're starting a cycle of favoritism that will result in cataclysmic mental struggles. Is that hyperbole? Not really. Many kids, without proper guidance and parental control, repeat the same mistakes their parents made without thinking twice. The teen in this story wants out of his family ever since his parents started showing his adopted brother favoritism when he was eight years old.

Favoritism is nothing new here. However, a parent forgetting about their son's birthday and refusing to admit that they forgot is something fresh and heavy. The teen rightfully gives his parents a piece of his mind, and he's thinking of his next steps. Scroll to read the whole story. 

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  • No child wants to admit that they're caught in a toxic situation with their parents. Acknowledging this favoritism means that it's real, so this 17-year-old is clearly hurt by his parents' actions, rightfully so. Though his parents tried to do right by their adopted son, they're now refusing to nurture and care for their biological son… Is it that hard to provide for kids equally? 

  • Cheezburger Image 10467555584
    via Lia Bekyan For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for accusing my parents of favouritism?"

    When I (17m) was 8 my parents adopted my half- brother "Harry" (17m). Harry was from a bad home and when they adopted him they promised me that we would be one big happy family and that they would love us equally.
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  • It stayed that way for about two years. By the time we were 11 my parents started to favour Harry. They babied him, prioritised everything about him, celebrated him more than me for literally everything.
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  • I'm not lying they actually forgot about my 14th birthday because Harry had a "big" football game on. They "promised" to make it up to me when they got back but nothing ever happened.
    via Feeling-Display929
  • Anyway, I took all this in the chin and was kinda in denial about them favouring him. This was until a few days ago when they told me that they
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  • would only be paying for him to go to college because they didn't have the money for both of us and I am "smart enough to get a scholarship".
    via Feeling-Display929
  • Cheezburger Image 10467555840
    via Alexander Grey for Unsplash
  • Harry doesn't even want to go to college! The dude wants to join the army! I don't know why or how my parents convinced him to go to college but I'm sick of the favouritism.
    via Feeling-Display929
  • Anyway I brought it up with them and we had a massive argument. They had an excuse for everything, saying that he
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  • needed more support due to his background and "trauma". They flat out refused to admit that they forgot my birthday.
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  • In the end I cussed them out and left. I've been staying at my friends. house and ever since my whole family, including my grandparents, have been blowing up my phone.
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  • I kinda want to go non contact with the lot of them. So am I the a hle here like they're all saying or am I right about this?
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  • gigglyberrytwist I hate how they're using the "trauma" card as a blanket excuse to ignore you. Supporting Harry is fine, but it shouldn't come at the cost of completely neglecting you. That's not parenting, that's favoritism. NTA
    via gigglyberrytwist
  • BookEnvironmental689 Game plan time. If you wanna go no contact you need to use your head here and understand what that means. It's what I would do but this is your life. Don't be rash be smart but don't buy into the trauma card.
    via BookEnvironmental689
  • cgm824 My response to them would've been "man I wish you put me up for adoption that way I would've had a shot at loving supportive parents like Harry has!"
    via cgm824
  • Mystic_babygirl NTA they've been treating you unfairly and you're allowed to call them out on it
    via Mystic_babygirl
  • Shdfx1 NTA. Tell your parents that you needed love, too. By casting you aside to coddle a traumatized child, they traumatized you, their own child. You grew up knowing your parents stopped caring about you the day they brought a child home to replace you.
    via Shdfx1
  • If they are casting you out and giving financial college aid to him, and not to you, then you're done with them. You'll go on and live your life without them, while they make up excuses for why their own kid stopped talking to them. Just be done with this. They don't need to admit what they did for it to be true.
    via Shdfx1
  • In fact, they'll never admit it, because that would require them to face they were bad parents who irreparably harmed their own child. Make a list of all the times they pushed you aside to favor Harry. Write it down while it's fresh. Leave them a copy when you move out.
    via Shdfx1

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reddit stories brother sibling rivalry siblings reddit story favoritism parenting adopted favorite dad family sibling reddit thread Reddit mom golden child Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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