28-year-old boyfriend leaves his dog with ex-girlfriend after dumping her, comes back 5 months later trying to get the dog back, she says no: '[He says] I’m stealing his dog and that I’m being selfish'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 19, 2025 11:00 PM EST

In this generation, where everyone is having kids much later or not at all, they say that dogs have become the new kids, and plants have become the new pets. And I think… rocks have become the new plants. Anyways, our furry friends are getting much cushier treatment now than in the bad old days, and we all know they're good for it. There's nothing better than snuggling up with your pup after a long day or getting outside in the morning to play around carefree before the humdrum kicks in. 

With dogs reaching child status these days, it does come with more responsibility. And in the event that you and a partner who shares a dog together decide to split, then there could be a custody battle on your hands. That's what happened to one woman when her boyfriend left his dog in her care after they broke up. After five months of caring and loving the dog, this woman had a hard time figuring out what to do when her ex came crawling back asking for the pooch. They say a dog is man's best friend. But in this case, a dog may be a woman's best friend, too. 

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    "AITAH for refusing to give my ex his dog back after he left him with me for months?"

    Okay, so my ex (M28) and I (F26) broke up like 5 months ago. He was the one who ended things, told me he "needed time to figure things out," and moved out of our place within a week. It sucked, but whatever, I accepted it. Thing
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    but whatever, I accepted it. Thing is, when he left, he also left behind his dog, a 3-year-old golden retriever named Max. He told me he'd "come back for him soon" but... never did. At first, I kept reaching out like, "Hey, when are you picking up Max?" and everytime it was some excuse.
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    "I'm too busy rn." "I don't have a stable place yet." "Can you just keep him for a little longer?"
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    At some point, I just stopped asking. Like bro, if you actually wanted your dog, you'd find a way. So yeah, it's been five months now, and Max is basically my dog at this point. I pay for all
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    my dog at this point. I pay for all his food, vet visits, toys, everything. We go on runs, he sleeps in my bed, he follows me everywhere. I love this dog. Then, out of nowhere last week, my ex texts me like, "Hey, I can come get Max this weekend." No "Hey,
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    get Max this weekend." No "Hey, thanks for taking care of him," no apology, nothing. Just acting like he can pick him up like he left his jacket here or some sh. So I straight up told him no. I said,
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    straight up told him no. I said, "You left him with me for months without even checking in, and now you want him back just like that? Nah." Now he's ped, saying I'm stealing his dog and that I'm being selfish. Some
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    that I'm being selfish. Some mutual friends are like, "Well, technically he was always his dog, so maybe you should give him back," but others are saying "He abandoned Max, you're his owner now."
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    Idk, I feel like I did the right thing, but maybe I should just give Max back? AITAH?
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    Everyone in the comments said that this woman is Max's rightful dog mom now.

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    NTA Your ex abandoned Max. He didn't just ask for a favor, he dipped for five months, barely checked in, and let you handle all the responsibilities. Dogs aren't property you can just leave behind and reclaim whenever it's convenient.
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    NTA, he abandoned him. The only way getting him back even begins as a discussion you should round up all receipts for vet care, food, etc. that you have spent since he's been in your care. Then once you
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    your care. Then once you have that total, figure out what the average going rate for a dog sitter is in your area and add up all the hours since he left Max and add that to the total. Since
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    add that to the total. Since clearly in his mind you were just a dog sitter, it's time for him to pay up. You also then have all your back up needed if he tries to take you to court and/or you can keep a step ahead of him and do that yourself and take him to small claims court for "custody" of Max.
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    Some gave some legal advice.

    I would look at the laws in your area. Morally keep the dog, legally, you should confirm
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    Happy tails, indeed!

    NTA Virtually every jurisdiction in the US has a time limit, typically 3 to 7 days, after which the dog is abandoned. Max is your dog physically, emotionally, mentally, and very very likely legally if it came to that. Happy tails to you and Max.
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    Unless he's been sending you money for food, vets etc and paying you a fee to care for him then he abandoned Max and has no further rights to him. NTA
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    If this went to court I am sure you could show that you have been taking care of him alone for 5mo, and then you would get to keep him. Get records together, and NTA.
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    Nope I wouldn't return him either. Dogs are not cheap plus they are living beings with feelings. I am sure he was confused and hurt when his owner never came back. So no he doesn't deserve that and I wouldn't return him.
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    Haha, dog support!

    He didn't pay dog support while you had him. He straight up abandoned Max. NTA. Max is lucky to have you.
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Dating-Relationships dogs aita ex boyfriend reddit story relationships doggo reddit thread Reddit relationship drama
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