20-year-old who stays calm under pressure wonders what jobs might value their ability to remain unfazed receives amusing comments: ‘Unemployment’

This 20-year-old thinks they've got what it takes to conquer the job market because they never panic under pressure. Their brain skips the OMG WE'RE ALL DOOMED phase entirely and jumps straight to OK, let's fix this. It's a solid sales pitch. 

They discovered $7,000 mysteriously missing from their bank account during a sushi date and just casually decided to call the bank the next day. Meanwhile, the rest of us would be hyperventilating into an empty soy sauce packet while drafting our will on the back of a napkin deciding who to leave the debt to.

But here's the thing kiddo, when I was 20, my biggest stress was deciding if I wanted fries or potato wedges on the side and now I'm replacing mouthguards every few weeks because my jaw is preparing for its headline performance as lead percussionist in a death metal band. What I'm saying is, chill now or forever hold your peace because this peace will not last long.

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