Apparently, the reason I can't seem to master this whole "being a functioning adult" thing is that I have 80 HD. Not sure about the science, but I think it means my brain operates in high definition, only my reception's always cutting out at the worst moments. Does that explain why I poured coffee into the cereal bowl this morning? Maybe.
Living with ADHD often feels like you're constantly missing crucial parts of life, as if the universe is a movie and you keep blinking right as the plot twist happens. One moment you're setting out to do something responsible, like writing an email, paying a bill, or making a meme list and the next you're sitting on the floor trying to see if you can still touch your toes. It's not that you don't care about the email or the bill—it's just that, somehow, they fell out of your brain the second you turned your head.
We ADHDers seem to exist in a parallel timeline, forever caught in the limbo between "I'm going to get so much done today" and "Why am I elbow-deep in an article about medieval dentistry?" Paying attention is a noble goal, but let's be honest, it's hard to focus when your brain's priority system runs on an improv group situation generator.
Adulting is hard for everyone, sure, but throw in 80 of HD, and some days it feels like a cosmic prank. Thankfully, self-depreciation is free and also easier to remember to do than laundry.