25-year-old woman breaks up with 28-year-old boyfriend after he puts her through a "Loyalty Test" for a YouTube video: 'I felt blindsided'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Feb 28, 2025 2:00 PM EST

If you have to put your partner through a so-called "loyalty test," your relationship might as well be destined for failure. After all, there is a reason why people frequently espouse the word "trust" when discussing the hallmarks of a healthy relationship. 

It's always remarkable to me when I hear about couples who don't share the full truth about themselves with each other. What is the point of commitment and cohabitation if you feel like you cannot express yourself fully with your partner? Of course, sometimes, these true feelings are suppressed out of fear that one's true self will scare away their partner. If that's the case, then the unfortunate reality is that you were never meant to stay together…

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    "The relationship ended the minute you decided to put me on a loyalty test."
    via Unsplash+ (Gabriel Ponton)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This dude may still have been in his twenties, but he was old enough to know better than to try to trick his girlfriend with a loyalty test. To make matters worse, he was filming her with a full-on camera crew for a YouTube video. He claimed he was insecure about his own relationship after having been cheated on in the past, but based on the update that the woman included below, he was the one who was hiding far more…

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    I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend (28M) for a year now. Our relationship has been amazing until one day, he decided to put me through a loyalty test for a YouTube video.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    The entire test felt completely real. The entire time, I didn't flirt and made it clear I had a boyfriend, despite the decoy's multiple advances.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    Then, all of a sudden, the whole crew came out. My boyfriend, in particular, was smiling and happy. When the YouTuber told me that this was a loyalty test and that I had passed, I sat there confused
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    and stayed silent. When my boyfriend tried to hug me, I pushed him away and walked off. I was completely shocked and humiliated.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    I knew this was going to be on YouTube, so I didn't want to react the way they probably wanted me to (yelling, crying, making a scene). I simply said, "The relationship ended the minute you decided to put me on a loyalty test." My boyfriend tried
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    to stop me, saying I was being dramatic and that I had no reason to be mad since I had passed. That just made me angrier, and all I wanted to do was go home.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    Cheezburger Image 10473542400
    via Unsplash+ (Gabriel Ponton)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    The next day, he called wanting to talk in private, which I agreed to. However, he had already told his friends, our mutual friends and my own family about the situation. During our conversation, he would call them
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    or pull up their text messages so they could back him up. They all said I was overreacting and that I should be happy because now that he knows I would never cheat, we can finally settle down
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    and be together. Yes, I love him and have considered that in the future, but I felt completely invalidated.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    In my opinion, loyalty tests are a lose-lose. Either you cheat or you don't, but either way, it proves that your partner doesn't trust you. I was completely confused
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    because I thought I had given him zero reason to doubt me. So, when I asked him why he did this, he admitted that it was only because his ex had cheated on him multiple times in the past with her coworkers. (This meant
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    he had lied, because he had told me their breakup was mutual and drama-free.). Also, I never realized he had trust issues because I'm such a homebody and work from home. Now that I
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    recently got a new job and was leaving the house more and meeting new people, it put me in the same situations and settings his ex had been in.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    At the end of our conversation, he asked if we were breaking up, and I told him I needed space. That was two days ago and I'm still being bombarded with people saying I'm being irrational for being mad about this. The
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    only thing he has said in those two days was that because | "passed" I shouldn't even worry about the video coming out since they only post the fails, as if that was my concern.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    Maybe I'm overreacting, but I need some outside opinions because everyone around me is making me feel like I'm crazy for being upset.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    TL;DR: My boyfriend secretly put me through a loyalty test for a YouTube video. I stayed faithful, but I felt blindsided and humiliated when it was revealed.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    Now, his friends and my family say I am overreacting and should be happy I passed, while I feel completely invalidated. Am I wrong for feeling this way?? So, AITA for "breaking up" with my boyfriend over this?
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    shangri-laschild NTA. He didn't just loyalty test you. He arranged to have it filmed so you could be humiliated. Because it's still humiliating even if you "pass".
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    Not only that but he is weaponizing friends and family to harass you about this. He's making it clear he feels very comfortable making everyone else have input on your relationship.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    And that their opinions matter more than yours does. What happens when the two of you disagree about the wedding arrangements? Or home buying? Or kids?
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    He has done so much instead of just having a conversation with you. At every stage of this he involved others instead of just having a conversation. with you.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    Lurker_the_Pip You are under no obligation. to entertain him or the YouTube public with your discomfort and shock. Use used you publicly to get screen time.
    via Royal_Economics1549
  • 26
    He was disrespectful in like 5 different ways. He broke your trust. Dump him.
    via Royal_Economics1549

  • This update provided by the now single 25-year-old woman just goes to show that the people who will take drastic measures to put their relationships to the test are often the troublemakers in the relationship. Thankfully, she got out while she was still young and before there were any serious hurdles that might keep her in the relationship.

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    UPDATE: I took a lot of y'all's suggestions, including showing my friends and family this post, but everyone told me I should just take it down because it was a "violation of his privacy." The only people who apologized were his brother and my dad.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    His brother told me he wanted to talk because there was something he needed to get off his chest. That's when he said that my ex had actually been frequently loyalty testing me, just
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    not for YouTube, and that he has probably done this in all of his past relationships. He even gave me the number of my ex's former girlfriend (the same one my ex claimed had cheated on him) because she wanted to talk to me.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    Last night, we spoke, and she told me she had heard about what happened and wanted to warn me to stay far away from him. She said she never cheated on him at all. In reality, their
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    relationship ended because she found out he was the one who cheated multiple times with multiple people. When she found out, she went through his phone and discovered that he:
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    - Recorded a lot of their conversations - Lied about where he worked, including his work trips - Has at least four working phones - Is probably lying about 500 other things
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    When she got caught looking at his phone, he completely flipped. He broke up with her, and she moved to another city in less than a week later. I took this up with my mom for help, and she said I shouldn't jump to conclusions and that I should talk to him, even though I didn't want to.
    via Royal_Economics1549
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    This morning, she still went ahead and told him everything I'd said and asked him to talk to me. I agreed, and the entire conversation went exactly how it went the first time. He swore she was lying, so when I showed him the text messages, he said it was all for work. Obviously, I didn't believe him and just walked away.
    via Royal_Economics1549
  • 35
    After an hour, he apologized, admitted he was sorry, and that he was lying about most things. (which didn't believe). But he insisted that we should look past all of this and move on because we love each other.
    via Royal_Economics1549
  • 36
    You would think that after all of this, people would see my side, but I'm still not in communication with my family right now.
    via Royal_Economics1549
  • 37
    Thanks to everyone who gave their opinion. It was incredibly eye-opening, and all I want to do is move forward with my life.
    via Royal_Economics1549

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Dating-Relationships boyfriend aita AITAH ex boyfriend relationships girlfriend entitled people karma breakup toxic relationship entitled people
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