‘No, I like my space’: 26-year-old brother refuses to let his older sister crash at his place rent-free after she spends years insulting his apartment

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 9, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Did you ever share a room with your sibling? 

I shared a room with my sister for almost my entire adolescence. At first, when we were kids, it was amazing! My best friend slept a few feet from me and I was never alone. Then, as we got older, suddenly our little shared room started to feel too snug, choking us both and I realized I was never alone. As human beings, like any living creature, we need a hidey hole to retreat to that's all ours. Like a mouse looking for shelter or a monkey in a tree, some personal space is super important. 

Luckily for my sister and me, once we grew out of each other, we moved out of the house and got our own space. However, for the 26-year-old in this next story, a man who'd carve out a special place in the world with his studio apartment, he couldn't seem to find his peace when his big sis came around.

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    via Blue Bird

    (The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.)

    For years, this man had created the perfect human enclosure for himself in his apartment, but his older sister (three years older to be precise), always talked down on him, claiming his 'shoebox' wasn't much of an accomplishment. But when she and her boyfriend broke up and she needed somewhere to crash, suddenly his shoebox was looking like the Ritz Carlton to her…

  • "AITA for not letting my sister move into my apartment after she made fun of me for living alone?"

    I (26M) have my own apartment, which I worked really hard to get. My older sister (29F) used to tease me about it, saying stuff like "must be lonely" and "you should get a real house instead of that shoebox." She's been making little comments for years about how she'd never want to live alone and how I should "grow up" and move out of an apartment.
    via FayeOO754
  • Well, last month, she broke up with her long-term boyfriend, and guess what? Now she suddenly wants to move into my place. She called me, crying, saying she needed somewhere to stay for a few months. I asked if she had other options, and she said she could stay with our parents, but she "didn't want to deal with them."
    via FayeOO754
  • I told her no. I like my space, I've never lived with her as an adult, and I don't think it would work out. She got pissed, saying I was "selfish" and that "family should help each other." I reminded her of all the times she made fun of me for living alone, and suddenly, she started backtracking, saying she "never meant it that way."
    via FayeOO754
  • Now, our parents are saying I'm being too harsh and should let her stay "just for a little while." But I don't want to. I know if I let her in, she'll start acting like she owns the place, and I'll be stuck living with someone who doesn't even respect my lifestyle.
    via FayeOO754
  • Faye00754 OP For some context: • She makes good money. She's not struggling, just doesn't want to pay rent on her own. • Our parents live in a nice house and have space for her, but she doesn't want to move back home.
    via FayeOO754
  • • When I brought up the way she used to talk about my apartment, she said she was "just joking" and I was "being sensitive." • I know my sister. If I let her move in, she'll treat it like a free ride and stay way longer than she promises.
    via FayeOO754
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    via ilonakozhevnikova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • SamuelVimesTrained You live in a shoebox, right... She cannot fit.. NTA ..
    via SamuelVimesTrained
  • spymatt NTA, she needs to be an adult and pay for her own place or live back with mommy and daddy. Stand your ground.
    via spymatt
  • grayblue_grrl If she stays with your parents she'll have incentive to move out quickly. "If my life and my home are a joke to you, you can deal with our parents." NTA
    via grayblue_grrl
  • TheWorldTur... NTA You already know it would be a bad idea for her to move in. She can stay with your folks. Don't back down!
    via TheWorldTur
  • Numerous_Audience707 Yeeeeaaaah that'd be a hard pass for me. Huge adjustment especially as adults.
    via Numerous_Audience707
  • Additional_Bad7702. Tell your family they're right, family should help family and you applaud them for doing so 19.
    via Additional_Bad7702
  • Ravenmn NTA. Wow, she is profoundly ignorant of the effect of her own words. It would take a really creative writer to explain how "that shoebox" was "never meant" to be an insult or taunt! "I've dreamed all my life of living in a shoebox! How cozy and warm!"
    via Ravenmn
  • Check with your landlord: you may not be allowed to have a roommate under your current lease. And if all else fails, find a long, detailed roommate contract on the web and demand she sign it before moving in so you both understand expectations. Good luck!
    via Ravenmn
  • wulfblood_90 NTA I love how convenient it is for your parents to say you're in the wrong and should let her stay, but aren't volunteering their own home. The hypocritical parents always kill me.
    via wulfblood_90
  • HUNGWHITEBOI25 Loool, tell her karma is a bitch and so is she. NTA Op, she can move in with your parents...i'm guessing the reason they're giving you crap is because now THEY need to take her in. You did nothing wrong
    via HUNGWHITEBOI25
  • Vibe_me_pos She has another option that she doesn't like. Why should you be made unhappy for doing her a favor? Let her be unhappy living with your parents. It sounds like they don't want her either because they are urging you to take her. NTA
    via Vibe_me_pos

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