Pregnant woman refuses to give in to mother-in-law's demands to be in the delivery room, husband takes MIL's side: ‘Just let her be there’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 12, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

I'm not going to lie, a lot scares me about pregnancies, and I'm sure most people would feel the same way. The changes to the body, the moods, the pain, the labor, and don't get me started on the actual baby you'd have to take care of right after. As beautiful as it may be, pregnancies are one scary thing. 

That being said, nothing, and I wholeheartedly mean nothing, scares me as much as the thought of having to deal with my mother-in-law in the delivery room.

Now, I count myself lucky in that regard, because my mother-in-law and I get on pretty well. We're not besties by any means, but I know that she really cares for me, and we almost never fight on anything.

But when the day comes, if she insists on being in the delivery room (and she's a retired nurse, so I know she will at least try), I am prepared to throw out our entire relationship to the garbage just to keep her out of it. 

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  • The thing about the story below, is that not only is the poor pregnant woman who wrote it dealing with her mother-in-law's demands, but her husband is also refusing to help her out. He actually takes his mother's side in the ‘who gets to be in the delivery room’ debacle, and that is simply unacceptable.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story, and let us know what you would do in the comments down below.

  • 01
    "I should have control over who is in the room"
    via paulaphoto

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for telling my husband that his mother is overstepping and I don’t want her in the delivery room?"

    I (32F) am currently 8 months pregnant with our first child. My husband, Tom (35M), and I have been together for seven years, and overall, we have a great relationship. The only issue? His mom (62F), Linda.
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 03
    Linda has always been overbearing-the type of mother who still calls her son "my baby" and insists she knows what's best for him. Since we announced the pregnancy, she's been way too
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 04
    involved. She constantly gives unsolicited advice, criticizes my choices, and even refers to the baby as "our baby", which makes me uncomfortable.
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 05
    The breaking point came last week when she casually said, "I can't wait to be there for the birth! I want to be the first to hold my grandbaby." I was shocked. I never invited her, and I had
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 06
    always assumed the only person with me (besides the medical staff) would be my husband. I told her, as politely as possible, that I wasn't comfortable having anyone except Tom in the delivery
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 07
    room. She immediately flipped out, saying it was unfair, that she had "a right" to be there, and that she was present for the births of her nieces and nephews. She even accused me of trying to "push her out of the baby's life."
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 08
    Later, Tom told me I should "just let her be there" to keep the peace, since it's a big moment for the family. I told him this is MY medical procedure, and I should have control over who is in the
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 09
    room. He said I was being dramatic and that "it's just a few extra people." Now, I feel like I'm being ganged up on. I don't want to destroy my
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 10
    relationship with my MIL, but I also don't want to feel uncomfortable during such an important moment. AITA?
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 11
    autumn-roseE Absolutely not the AH. Giving birth is not a family group event, it's a medical procedure not a gender reveal party with front- row seats. Your MIL acting like she has a VIP pass to your uterus is
    via autumn-roseE
  • 12
    wild, and your husband saying “just let her be there" like you're hosting a dinner party?? Nah. If he wants to keep the peace, he can buy her a "World's Best Grandma" mug and FaceTime her after the baby is born. Stand your ground, you're the one pushing out a human, not her.
    via autumn-roseE
  • 13
    Unlikely-Bag9456 OP Sure! Thank you so much i will
    via Unlikely-Bag9456
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10478321920
    via SandraKavas

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 15
    Electronic-Buy-1786 Tell your medical team that only your husband is allowed, absolutely no one else. Tell your husband if he keeps this up, then he will not be there either.
    via Electronic-Buy-1786
  • 16
    Top Wealth_9343 My mother wanted to be in the delivery room. Wife said no, so I told Mom no, end of discussion. My phone actually rang during the delivery as my wife was pushing, and through gritted teeth, my wife said, "tell your mother I'm busy!"
    via Top_Wealth_9343
  • 17
    2agood NTA. Birth is NOT a spectator sport!!! You have a husband problem and a MIL. You both need to be on the same page NOW, and he needs to have your back, not try to push you into something that makes your uncomfortable.
    via 2agood
  • 18
    SockMaster9273 NTA The people in the room should be the people you want / need in the room. If MIL is not needed or wanted, she should not be there.
    via SockMaster9273
  • 19
    Also confused by the phrasing, "it's just a few extra people". Especally the "few" part. Might be reading into things but how many other people has he decided is showing up without talking to you?
    via SockMaster9273
  • 20
    Embarrassed Hat_2904 பட F keeping the peace. Her peace is not your responsibility.
    via Embarrassed_Hat_2904
  • 21
    Electronic-Buy-1786 You need to shut her meddling down now, or she will take over. Your husband needs to make a decision now. You or his mother.
    via Electronic-Buy-1786
  • 22
    fzooey78 My friend, I think you need to get ahead of this now. Not JUST with the pregnancy and birth, but afterwords. Honestly, everything to do with his mother is a massive red flag about your husband.
    via fzooey78
  • 23
    What you need is to get into therapy STAT. Your husband needs a third perspective to help him see that he's a problem. Otherwise you're about to experience a living nightmare.
    via fzooey78

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family drama aita baby pregnancy kids mother wife reddit story parenting husband mother in law family pregnant Reddit women parents children
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